Well, as some illustrious person once said, "Popularity is the hallmark of mediocrity."
You just made that up, didn't you?
Yes, but I stand by it.
S2 E19Someone To Watch Over Me
[Martin thinks Frasier is wasting money by hiring a personal bodyguard]
Hey, I know how to take a bullet.
Oh, yes. That's just what your personality needsː another bulletǃ
S2 E20Breaking The Ice
[Niles is bemused by the smell of Martin's tackle box covered by Daphne's air freshener]
It smells like a fish died and all the other fish sent flowers.
[Daphne encourages Frasier to go ice fishing with Martin]
So you're suggesting that I go along and pretend I'm enjoying myself in something that gives me absolutely no pleasure at all just to hear the words "I love you"?
Why not? Women have been doing it for centuries.
S2 E21An Affair to Forget
Seattle's a big city. I'm sure there's a bunch of German fencing instructors, each one with dozens of students.
Yes, but are they wealthy students?
[sarcastically] No, they're inner-city kids trying to work their way out of the ghetto with nothing but a foil and a dream.
[Niles accuses Gunnar in English, which Frasier translates into Spanish for Marta, so she can tell Gunnar in German]
GGunnar
Schweinhund! [draws his sword]
Alright, fine! You want to challenge me? En garde!
Oh, yes, Niles! That's just what we need: a fourth language.
S2 E22Agents in America, Part III
[Frasier is watching a daytime soap opera with Daphne and Martin]
Is this what you do when I'm not at home?
Not quite. When you're not home I can bloody well hear what they're saying!
You wouldn't want to miss a line of this dialogue: "Oh Zirconia, can't you see Stone doesn't love you, he loves Placenta!"
I don't think someone called "Frasier" should be pointing any fingers.
[After Bebe has treated Daphne as a slave, she brings Bebe a snack]
Will there be anything else?
No, you run along, I'm fine.
You're sure now? Because I could wait until you've finished the biscuit and floss your teeth for you!
[Frasier is watching a daytime soap opera with Daphne and Martin]
My God, in one scene they've got Sky, Xena and Slate!
I don't think someone called "Frasier" should be pointing any fingers.
Is this the way you spend your days when I'm not at home?
Not quite. When you're not home, I can bloody well hear what they're saying!
Well, you wouldn't want to miss a line of this dialogue: "Oh Zirconia, can't you see Stone doesn't love you; he loves Placenta!"
S2 E23The Innkeepers
(Gil announces that Orsini's is closing.)
And so tonight a sad adieu to the grande dame of Seattle restaurants.
(aside to Frasier) I thought he was the grande dame of Seattle restaurants
All right, stop it! Get a grip. You're not being asked to do anything that none of us hasn't done before in our own kitchens in our own homes! Now quick, Niles, kill five eels!
Wait, wait! What?
I'm serious! Every restaurant critic in Seattle is out there and they all want anguille, so start killing eels!
Wait, wait. How do you suggest I do that?
How do I know? You're the chef. Throw a toaster in the damn tank for all I care!
How much firepower do you suppose is necessary to embed a cherry in an acoustic ceiling tile?
Another question we should have asked ourselves before we entered the exiting world of food service.
S2 E24Dark Victory
[to Frasier] You unprincipled charlatan! You unconscionable fraud! [turns] Happy birthday, Dad.
[Martin blows out the candles of his birthday cake at the same time the power goes out.]
Well, at least we know there's nothing wrong with Dad's lungs...
[Niles leaves Frasier's apartment during a power outage. He returns a few minutes later, gasping for breath]
Nineteen floors down to my car! Garage door's electric! Can't open! Twenty floors back up! Lost count! Bad lady upstairs! Big dog! Need place to die!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Frasier pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.