Daphne Moon quotes from Frasier

Daphne

Working down at the docks has always been a tradition for us Moons. My father worked on the docks, and me grandfather before him. All my brothers do. Well, except for my brother Billy. He came home one day, and announced he hated the smell of fish and was going to teach ballroom dancing. And he did. And he does. He's my mum's favorite. Dad mostly flicks the crust off his kidney pie at him.

Daphne

God, the noise the bloody thing makes! It would be less upsetting just to wake up on fire!

Daphne

Well, your brother just gave me $200, and now he's going to roll me over.

Daphne

I'm not like a psychiatrist, who works with someone for years and years and it doesn't matter if they ever get better.

Daphne

Oh, I am so sorry. Here I am, dawdling with the laundry when it's ten minutes into Caviar Time!

Daphne

You've got two choices: you can either walk away from the painting, or you can limp away from the painting.

Daphne

I’m having my baby the way God intended: in a hospital, numb from the waist down!

Daphne

My grandfather used to nap every afternoon. He lived to be 93.

Martin

Really?

Daphne

He'd lie there on the sofa and you couldn't wake him for the world. Grammy would say: "He might as well be a dead man." Then, of course, one day we couldn't wake him. He really was a dead man. Poor Grammy. For weeks, she kept insisting: "He's napping, he's napping."

Frasier

The thought of a doctor selling things is kind of distasteful, isn't it?

Daphne

What about Dr Sneezy's cold medicine?

Frasier

Dr Sneezy is a cartoon character. The fact that he's a giant purple hippopotamus probably should have tipped you off.

Daphne

I promised my Uncle Jackie I'd fly down to San Francisco to be with him.

Martin

Well, I guess you should be with your family at this time of year, it's more traditional.

Daphne

Except that Jackie's a transvestite. Getting a bit long in the tooth for it too, if you ask me. Last Thanksgiving he ate too much turkey and I had to cut him out of his pantyhose.

Niles

[about Maris] She's been afraid to fly since her harrowing incident.

Daphne

Oh, dear... Did a plane almost crash?

Niles

No, she was bumped from first class. She still wakes up screaming.

Frasier

What's the matter with him?

Daphne

He saw your father's chair was gone, and he's afraid it means your father's gone, too. I think he suspects foul play.

Frasier

[to Eddie] Oh, stop it! If I had stuck Dad's feet into a bucket of cement and thrown him into Puget Sound, you would have been the tiny little splash that followed him!

Daphne

[about drawer-dividers for socks] I saw them once in a catalogue, but I couldn't imagine who in the world would buy such silly things. Course, I hadn't met Dr. Crane yet.

Martin

I used to think there'd been some sort of mix-up at the hospital. Of course, when Niles came along, it shot that theory all to hell.

Daphne

It makes me glad we don't have so many guns in England.

Frasier

You don't need guns: you got kidney pie.

Daphne

I had a mole removed.

Niles

Where?

Daphne

Just south of Manchester.

Niles

I meant, where on your body?

Daphne

So did I.