Neither Niles nor Martin believe Frasier's story that he is dating a supermodel
Doesn't he realize how outlandish it all sounds?
Even a fake supermodel would have dumped him by now!
S5 E1Frasier's Imaginary Friend
Frasier tries desperately to convince his family
I am not crazy! I am dating a supermodel zoologist, whom I stole away from a professional football player, and she is off to the Galápagos Islands to artificially inseminate iguanas! Now is that so hard to believe?!
S5 E2The Gift Horse
Daphne fills Niles in with Sherry's meat-based plans for the food at Martin's party
I assume these colorful balloons are for the between-course angioplasty(!)
Frasier comes home to find speaker towers placed around his living room
Dear God...It's Stonehenge.
Sherry loves the new giant screen TV
SSherry
Wow, she's a beaut! Marty and I are gonna be spending a lot more time here.
It's a gift that keeps on giving(!)
S5 E3Halloween
I thought you were getting me a Sherlock Holmes outfit. He didn't wear a bowler.
Well, they were all out of Sherlock Holmes, so I put together something else for you. Don't worry, it's another detective. Tonight, you'll be Lord Peter Wimsey!
Who the hell's that?
He's a celebrated bon vivant sleuth from a series of novels by Dorothy L. Sayers.
Well, I'm not going anywhere where I have to tell people my name's Wimsey!
Frasier at the party meeting a woman dressed as Eve from the Bible
Let me guess... Lady Godiva?
EEve
No, Eve, from the Bible.
Well, now I know why they call it "The Good Book".
S5 E4The Kid
[Frasier enters Café Nervosa.]
Morning, Roz!
[annoyed] Frasier! What are you doing here?
Oh, I realize it must be a shock to see me here in this place I come to every day of my life.
Hey, Dad, what are you doing here?
Oh, Sherry took her sister to that store across the street to buy some "foundation garments."
I think they call them "bras" now.
Not these, you don't. You could cross the River Kwai on one of those babies.
S5 E5The 1000th Show
Frasier has just been approached for an autograph in Café Nervosa, and told he is “the smartest guy on the face of the earth”
Well, one does hear tales of a certain wise man in Tibet, but why split hairs? (signs autograph, exit fan) Where was I?
You were last seen hiking up Mount Ego.
Daphne is on the phone trying desperately to renew her passport, and she feels the victim of discrimination
No, I’m a resident alien here from England. You know, the country that used to own you people!
You’ll go right to the head of the line now(!)
S5 E6Voyage of the Damned
Martin and Eddie have just come in from the rain, and Eddie has shaken himself dry all over Frasier's recently waxed floor
Daphne, get this canine sprinkler out of here!
Now, don't be too cross with him, Dr. Crane. As my Mum used to say: “There’ll be no dogs in Hell.”
I sincerely doubt that!
CCarlos
Buenas noches. ¿Hablas español?
Uh, not really.
CCarlos
Is no matter. I'm sure you are schooled in the... international language.
Yes, Roz. Say something amusing in Esperanto(!)
while hiding in Maris's cabin:
I think she left, I see her coat on the hatrack.
Wait... look closer, is the hatrack moving?
OH MY GOD!
S5 E7My Fair Frasier
You didn't tell him you were pregnant before the date?
Well, it's not the easiest thing in the world to tell someone. Besides, I was hoping my radiant glow would do the talking for me.
Your "glow." Oh please, Roz. Do you ever think that anyone... could miss your radiant glow?
So I tell him, and he says "Fine, it's not a problem." Five minutes later, he tells me his pager is vibrating. He has an emergency. He has to go to work.
Well, maybe he was telling the truth.
He sells wicker furniture. Who needs their end tables re-caned at 9:30 at night?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Frasier pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.