Frasier · Season 8
Martin and Frasier observe the conversation between Niles and Mel. Frasier still has the figurine that Donny gave him
Isn't this all too typical? Niles leaves his wife for another woman, he gets a gift; I try to do the right thing, I get Mr Chump and a lawsuit!
Niles explains to Frasier and Martin about Mel's condition that he play the doting husband in public
Well, since we eloped, some of Mel's colleagues decided to throw a little last-minute get-together to toast our nuptials.
Well, after Donny gets through with Frasier, you won't be the only one havin' your nuptials toasted.
Frasier is watching his brother at the wedding reception
Look at him, over-acting. Trying to convince everybody he's happily married. Have you ever seen anything so pathetic in your life?
How about you and Lilith?
It was a rhetorical question!
When a photographer approaches the "happy couple" at the reception, Niles becomes more nervous than ever
How about a kiss?
All right! I hardly know you, but…
Frasier is just leaving Café Nervosa when Mel arrives to see Niles
Ah, Mel.
(icily) Frasier. You're looking...
(hastily) And you. We must do this again. (exits)
Daphne arrives to find the apartment devoid of any furniture
Well, I'm glad I went to three different stores to find your organic furniture polish.
Well, Daphne, chin up. You can always use it to polish the floors.
Oh yes. When God closes a door he opens a window(!)
Frasier observes that Niles is in a good mood, so Niles explains that he plans to disregard Mel's instructions and take Daphne out
Mel be damned! Daphne and I are going to have a romantic evening together at my apartment. Not only that; she's going in my car, in my back seat, under a pile of my coats and blankets!
Manchester, right?
Is it that obvious?
To me it is. My mum's from Manchester. Used to scream her lungs out for United.
Is that so? My Uncle Jack once tried to get Bobby Charlton's autograph, until Bobby cracked him over the head with a can of lager. Twelve stitches, and he still has the can!
Hey, Abby, have you heard this one? How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
I don't know. How many cops planted it there?
Thrust and parry, Dad.
Abby announces that dinner is on her, or rather, the firm
I couldn't let you do that, Abby. I wanted to pay for dinner.
Don't worry; you are.
I can't believe I was going to sleep with you!
[Throws him out of her office.]
You still can!
Frasier gives Roz his little "guilt offering". Each is unaware that the other has been spending time with Luke
Oh, Frasier, I don't deserve your friendship.
No, I do not deserve your friendship.
I deserve my own table. Excuse me. (exit)
Niles has overheard Roz and Frasier surreptitiously phoning Luke to arrange or cancel plans for the evening. He is now leaving
Oh, Niles. Listen: as it turns out I am available for that concert…
No, you're not.
Kelly Kirkland no longer co-hosts the Christmas parade with her husband
She's discovered that Cal's been having an affair with a cue card girl.
How did she catch him? Did she find a giant love letter in his pocket?
Now that Ballantine has been discontinued, Martin is not looking forward to Christmas
Christmas is about more than beer, Mr Crane.
Yeah, and this year's extra special 'cos Daphne and I are together.
Well, that's true. No more Mel, no Maris, no Lilith...Maybe I won't need beer this Christmas.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Frasier pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
