Frasier is waiting to retrieve some lost luggage. Bob Gardner walks in. This is the first time they meet
BBob
Have you been waiting here long?
Time is irrelevant here in the Seventh Circle of Hell.
S9 E1Don Juan in Hell (Part 1)
Kirby's ex-girlfriend has just arrived unexpectedly at his graduation party, and is furious when she meets his “other lady”
I was never his lady.
Damn, baby, that’s cold!
KKristi
She’s old enough to be your mother, practically.
Damn, baby, now that’s cold!
S9 E2Don Juan in Hell (Part 2)
Frasier is consoling Lana after Bob leaves
LLana
You are a really good f...
Don’t. Don’t use the F word.
LLana
(laughs) I wasn’t about to! I was gonna say we’re friends!
DDiane
She tried to kill me once.
HHester
Oh, not this paranoia again!
DDiane
You had a gun.
S9 E3The First Temptation of Daphne
The cricket in the apartment is driving Frasier insane
Dear God, can't You make him shut up?!
That prayer doesn't get answered around here.
[Daphne knocks at the door of Niles's office]
Well, this is an unexpected treat.
Niles, I have something to tell you.
Is it that I am the sexiest man you've ever known?
No. I-I mean, yes, you are. That's not why I'm here.
S9 E5Love Stinks
Frasier quotes an injurious limerick about himself to Niles
"There once was a man, Frasier Crane / Who says he can feel your pain, / But he acts like a snob / To the guys at his job / And I think he's totally lame."
That's terrible! There's a tense shift, an approximate rhyme, the scansion leaves a lot to be desired…
Niles, you're missing the point!
Daphne has told Niles that as a child she could not pronounce her own name, so her family called her "Dappy"
Oh, Dad! You'll never guess what silly nickname Daphne was called as a child!
Is it worse than Piles?
S9 E7Bla-Z Boy
Frasier and Niles are discussing their father, while the chair catches fire unnoticed
You know, I've been thinking of sending him someplace.
Like to a resort?
Like to live with you.
Oh, yes. The last resort.
S9 E8The Two Hundredth
It's time for another blooper.
Ah, yes. We're up to number four, as voted by you, the listeners. Here's what happened when a certain Producer didn't realize her microphone was on during the show...
[on tape] Now what the [beep] is this? You call this a [beep] paycheck? How the [beep] am I supposed to live on this [beep]? I'm gonna have a little word with that [beep]-damn Station Manager, walking around here like he owns the mother-[beep]-ing place!
KDKenny Daly
[who's entered] Can't believe that wasn't voted number one.
[Frasier is obsessing over the absence of one tape from his collection.]
That's it. I'm quirky. I'm delightfully quirky.
Do you realize that your delightful quirk has brought your life to a standstill?
Niles, I've just finished my two thousandth show. I'm exhausted, physically and emotionally. I believe that I am entitled to an entire weekend of doing nothing, don't you?
Do you know you have your pyjamas on backwards?
Another delightful quirk of mine.
Not from where I'm sitting.
[When Frasier gets a lead on a missing tape.]
I'll put on some pants.
Zipper goes in front.
[Daphne is moping about losing Frasier's tape, so Martin shows her how he's covered up breaking a lot of Frasier's "treasures."]
See that fertility god over there? It used to be a lot more fertile, if you know what I mean.
S9 E9Sharing Kirby
It's true. I'm a hopeless screw-up, just like my priest said!
S9 E10Junior Agent
And screw, may I add, you!
She took your pants, you know!
KDKenny Daley
I know!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Frasier pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.