Frasier · Season 10
Well, in my day people didn't drive so recklessly. Do you know why?
Is it because you rode dinosaurs?
[to Roz] You should talk to your daughter. [exits]
[to Alice] When we get home, you're getting ice cream.
[Frasier attempts to reassure Daphne's mother that a civil ceremony does not mean a Godless union]
For if you truly believe in the omniscience and omnipresence of the Lord, then surely are we not always in His presence?
No, He lives at the church!
[Niles and Daphne have named their pet lovebirds after themselves]
This morning, when Daphne escaped, I just kept thinking, "What if she's hurt, or lost, or eaten by a cat?" Or worse: "What if she meets another bird who's more birdly than Niles but without the substance?"
Trust me: no one is more birdly than Niles.
[An angry driver waiting behind Frasier's car claims that only rich people can afford to behave the way he is doing]
My income, and the style of car which I drive, are irrelevant! Isn't that so, Niles?
Yes. [to the driver] I drive a Mercedes, and I would have paid ten minutes ago.
Well, it certainly wasn't my finest hour. I got in, realized I made a mistake and then tried like hell to get out. There was a lot of shouting and then a line started to form behind me. You'd be surprised how long 20 minutes can be when you're watching the clock. Fortunately, my brother was there to serve as moral support, and, let's face it, someone to talk to. At least, in the end, I got out of there without paying the four dollars!
Frasier is not keen for Martin to take presidential decisions without consulting him
We need to reach a little understanding. Now, someone asks you a question, you look at me. If I scratch my nose, it means No. You get it? They both begin with the same two letters: N-O. Now, if I touch my eye, it means Aye as in...Yes.
[annoyed] Guess what you're being if I touch my ass.
(about Roz's cousin) She told me that my show was bourgeois. I then argued that anything that has mass appeal could be called bourgeois. She then said that my argument was bourgeois...which I happened to find jejune.
Niles has arrived at Frasier's apartment to find his wife doing housework for his brother and father
Are you proud of yourselves?
We didn't ask her to do anything!
She offered!
Then why is no one looking me in the eye?
[Frasier, the victim of Bulldog's latest prank, denies having been fooled, then hears a tape of himself]
[wailing] My car! Oh no, my caaaar! What did they do to you?! Oh, my baby...!
[Martin complains that Frasier makes practical jokes seem like work]
This is supposed to be fun! Like a day at the beach! Oh, you do this kind of thing all the time.
Like when?
Like the last time we went to the beach!
[Jason’s parents call round to Niles's apartment to sort things out]
It seems our children have been feuding. We're very embarrassed.
You're embarrassed? Meet our daughter. [gestures to Gertrude]
The Seattle Star Trek Convention is this weekend, and all the Enterprise captains are making an appearance. I need Scott Bakula's autograph to make my collection complete.
Noel, isn't this something you could do yourself?
Oh, I would! But William Shatner's restraining order against me is still in effect. It's so stupid! It wasn't even a real phaser.
Star Trek is just a TV show.
So was Brideshead Revisited!
You're angry, so I'm going to ignore that!
[Frasier has just finished interviewing another candidate and is walking her to the door]
Of course, we have several other candidates to interview, but I'll be sure to let you know by the twelfth... [closes the door] of never!
[Martin is encouraged to hear that Trish is a fan of the Sonics]
I should have guessed everyone and his brother would want to see Vince Carter play.
Not everybody. Or his brother.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Frasier pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
