Super Chum quotes from Fanboy & Chum Chum

Fanboy

[Gasps] It's Janitor Poopatine!

Chum Chum

Poop! And he's driving a dumpster!

Poopatine

Huh? This is no dumpster! It's a highly advanced fully mechanized trash receptacle! I call it...the Dump Star!

[pause] Ohhhhhh! That's nice! [The Dumpstar's claws grab them] Woah!

Poopatine

Oh, Brenda, stop being so dramatic. They're not replacing you. I'm just teaching them a lesson. Whoa! [falls into the floor which is covered in peanut butter] What are you doing?

Fanboy

Everyone knows the best way to get out ketchup is with peanut butter. Or is it soapy water?

Poopatine

[growls] STOP THIS AT ONCE!

Fanboy

Hold off on the peanut butter, chum.

Chum Chum

[on the roof of the cafeteria] Boy, this peanut butter really sticks to the roof of your school.

Poopatine

I see you have failed. Perhaps I can find another task better suited to your feeble skills.

Poopatine

Stop the Dump Star!

Fanboy

Uh, Chum Chum. I think the hologram's talking, but I don't see anything.

Poopatine

Look at me, you nitwits!

Chum Chum

I don't think I like its tone. [the Poopatine Hologram from earlier appears]

Not me, you nitwits. Him! [points] [Fanboy and Chum Chum see that the hologram was pointing at the real Poopatine, who is on Brenda and is shaking his fist angrily at them]

Chum Chum

Hey, Janitor Poopatine.

Poopatine

Pull over! Pull over!

Fanboy

I think he wants us to honk the horn. [Chum Chum honks the horn] How's that, huh? More horn? He wants more horn. [Chum Chum honks the horn many times]

Fanboy

Ok... ...Would you take a few follow-up questions?

Chum Chum

Sure.

Fanboy

Can you eat sweet potatoes? Can you play Chimp Chomp? Can you read comic books? Can you break dance? Can you talk to fish? Can you eat cheese through your ear? Can you chew gum whist walk?! Are there rocket cars? Are they red? Are there blueberries? Are they red? [unintelligible] Muh muh muh ma? Muh muh muh ma? [spits, still unintelligible] Muh muh muh ma? Muh muh muh ma?! Can you wear clown shoes? Can you drink pudding through a straw? Can you ride a dog like a horse? Are the banks open? [screaming over noise] Can you dance with mummies? [whispering] Can you get a good bagel? Does it rain hot gravy? [SLAM] Will a Sasquatch give back rubs? [SLAM] Does it rain hot gravy? Are there unlimited chicken drummettes? Do monkeys shine your shoes? Is Duke there?

Chum Chum

Well-

Fanboy

Can you eat electricity? Can you pet a live tiger? [slightly less crazed] Can you hand me some toilet paper? Can you wear white after labor day? Do the shrimp peel and eat themselves? Of course they do! What am I thinking? It’s Night-Morning! Anything Can Happen!

Chum Chum

I don't know if you're intrested, but if you want, you can do Night-Morning with me.

Fanboy

[surprised spit] ME?!? DO NIGHT MORNING?!?!? I'm going to Night Morning! I don't think I can sleep! I need a lullaby. [Lullabysongy] ♪ Night Morning, Night Morning, Niiiiight Morrrning... ♪ ♪ Night Morning...Night Morning...Niiiight...Morrr... ♪

Night morning! Night morning! Night morning! Night morning!

Chum Chum

Next time we splash down, we should do it in water. Fanboy, look. We landed in the kindergarten.

Fanboy

Wow. We went back in time, too? We must've gone faster than I thought.

Fanboy

Whoa. Look at the size of her. Somebody's been drinking their milk.

Chum Chum

I think she heard you.

Hello, Fanboy. Remember me? It's Marsha.

Fanboy

Who? Come again?

[spitting, Fanboy and Chum Chum pull out an umbrella to try and guard themselves from Marsha's spit] Marsssssssha.

Fanboy

Oh, sure. You're that-we used to-didn't we-you know, over by the um-yeah, I got nothing.

[shows photo] Maybe this will refresh your memory. [points at Fanboy on the photo] This is you, and [points at herself on the photo] that was me!

Fanboy

But that was Marsha. She was all nice and sweet. And you...ooh.

THAT'S BECAUSE YOU RUINED ME!

One minute left. No pressure, kids, but your entire future depends on how you do on this test. Not that my prized pupil Marsha has anything to worry about!

Fanboy

Hey, Chum Chum. [points at pencils stuck up his nose] Check me out!

Time's up. Pass your tests forward.

Fanboy

[Sneezes on Marsha's test] Best of luck, Marsha.

YOU RUINED MY TEST! I scored so low, they sent me back to kindergarten!

Fanboy

Oh, that Marsha.

I used to read two levels above my grade, now I spend my days writing "Pat sat on a mat" with a pencil that’s fat! [breaks a pencil that matches what she said] It's all so...

[off camera] Does anyone have to go potty?

I have to make a tinky-wink! [To Fanboy, with her eyeballs protruding toward him] Humiliating.

Fanboy

I’m sorry, Marsha. I had no idea! Maybe you could take the test...again?

I'm stuck in here!

Fanboy

Uhh, well maybe I could take it for you. I think I still got a few answers up here.

Oh-ho-ho, It’s too late for tests! Now is the time for revenge! [points at the clock] See the little hand’s on the eight, and the big hand’s on...your throat!

[off camera] Snack Time, everyone!

Ooh! Orange slices! [Rips off her pigtails. At Fanboy] You got lucky this time, Fanboy, but come naptime, you're gonna take...a PERMANENT nap!

But it's really nice to see you, Chum Chum.

Chum Chum

Wow, Marsha looks great, huh?

Fanboy

[nervously] Uh, yeah.

Chum Chum

Lenny's not sleeping behind the counter! Boog's not goofing off at the Chimp Chomp machine! Who's gonna peel the skin off the nacho cheese? Who's gonna wipe the sweat off the hot dogs?! Who's gonna pick the flies out of the mayonnaise and put em in the chili?!? THIS PLACE IS GONNA FALL APART!

Fanboy

Not on MY WATCH! [smacks a fly]

Fanboy

Gum-gum, Chum Chum? [hands Chum Chum some chewing gum. Chum Chum chews it, then opens his mouth to reveal a purple-toothed smile]

Chum Chum

It tastes like purple!

Fanboy

Hey Kyle, it's Pizza Day! Come play "pizza monkeys" with us!

Kyle

[with disdain] You two are "pizza monkeys"? What do you do? Throw your...pooperoni?

[hysterical laughter] Pooperoni!

Kyle

[sigh] I'm witty day after day, and this is what they laugh at?

Chum Chum

How does she expect us to eat this? It's burning my eyes just to look at it!

Kyle

You public school students are so soft. Why, at Milkweed Academy, I was once forced to consume a beaver stomach tartare in a swamp bilge ragout. This'll be like a spoonful of Turkish delight. [takes a spoonful, releasing a cloud of fart] Oh, my, I'm going to be unwell. [topples over]

Mrs. Cram

I hear it coming up, but I don't see it going down! START SLURPING!!!! IT'LL MAKE YOU BIG AND STRONG!!!!! [lifts Fanboy and Chum Chum's table and then drops it to the ground]

It's time for "The Super Spy Adventures of Agent 08"! Tonight's episode: "License to Krill".

Fanboy

We love your show, Agent 08. Especially the episode when you jumped over that shark.

Chum Chum

Yeah, that’s when it really started to get good!

We interrupt this episode of Agent 08 with breaking news. A new toy, by the name of Agent 08, has been found to be extremely dangerous.

Fanboy

Dangerous? Agent 08? What do they mean?

Chum Chum

[pries Agent 08 off his face just enough to eat a handful of popcorn] I dunno.

We’ve received several reports that the toy has a tendency to explode!

Fanboy

That’s crazy. I think we would’ve noticed if it-[Agent 08 explodes] Agent 08? You... explode?

WICKED!! [it explodes again, knocking the couch backwards]

The toy company is sending out representatives to recall the toy.

Fanboy

[peering over couch] Wait, wait, my ears are still ringing. What did he just say?

Chum Chum

They're gonna take away our Agent 08!

Fanboy

Never! They’ll have to pry it from my cold red face!

Lenny

Did you see those weirdos? Carrying that dumb Frosty Freezy Freeze cup around in a briefcase? [chuckles]

Oz

Well, it is super valuable.

What do you mean, val-u-able?

Oz

It's from an old promotion the Frosty Mart ran: Unlimited free refills.

Lenny

Unlimited free refills? They must not know what they have, or else they'd never leave. [scene zooms in on him] Can you imagine the horror?

REFILL! REFILL! REFILL! REFILL!

[laughs] Oh, you are mine now, cup! [reaches his hand into an oven by mistake]

Chum Chum

Hot dogs! Hot dogs! Get 'em while they're hot!

[Scalds his hand and screams as he runs around the mart before letting his hand cool] [sigh of relief] The ancient healing powers of relish.

So here's the plan. They put the cup in the cup holder, and... [puts a cup in a cup holder, which slides in and its compartment closes] bada-bing, bada-boom! The cup is ours! [both laugh] That's good, right? [drives Sandy to Fanboy and Chum Chum] Hey, boys. Need a lift?

Fanboy

Yeah, I'm guessing a "lift" is some new form of wedgie, so we're gonna pass.

No, I'll give you a ride in my car.

Chum Chum

You'd let us ride in Sandy?

Fanboy

Come on, Chum Chum! We can finish our contest later!

Lenny

What was your contest?

Fanboy

Seeing who can step in the most gum.

[both leap into Sandy with gum on their feet] Yaaaaay!

[anxiously] Uh, tell me you're not getting gum...on the carpet?

Fanboy

Nope, [he and Chum Chum stretch gum on their feet] it's all on the seats. [Boog grumbles]

Lenny

Uh, say, fellas. If you like, we can put that cup in the cup holder for ya. [chuckles]

Chum Chum

Look, Cuppy. A special seat just for you.

Chum Chum

Hey, it's Oz!

Fanboy

[seeing Oz cross the street] Hey, Oz. Can we give you a ride?

Oz

Well, I've already walked my thirty steps for the day. What the heck? [opens car door] Comin' in! [gets in, squashing Lenny to the window] If you can just scoot over a little, yeah, here we go -- over here.

Hey, hey, watch where you're -- [Oz leans against him as he screams]

Oz

...sure are snug, let me just use a little grease from this chicken. There we go! [pants] With room to spare. [holds a bucket of chicken legs] So what's up? [pants]

[annoyed] Anyone else you'd like to PICK UP?!

Fanboy

Well, now that you mention it. [Boog grumbles] Thanks for giving all our friends a ride!