Mrs. Cram quotes from Fanboy & Chum Chum

Chum Chum

How does she expect us to eat this? It's burning my eyes just to look at it!

Kyle

You public school students are so soft. Why, at Milkweed Academy, I was once forced to consume a beaver stomach tartare in a swamp bilge ragout. This'll be like a spoonful of Turkish delight. [takes a spoonful, releasing a cloud of fart] Oh, my, I'm going to be unwell. [topples over]

Mrs. Cram

I hear it coming up, but I don't see it going down! START SLURPING!!!! IT'LL MAKE YOU BIG AND STRONG!!!!! [lifts Fanboy and Chum Chum's table and then drops it to the ground]

Fanboy

Well, we're all done. Really enjoyed all of it: the scooping it up, the chewing, the swallowing. Mm-mmm!

Mrs. Cram

Why's your milk carton vibrating?!

Fanboy

[Nervously] um... ...it's a milkshake?

Mrs. Cram

OPEN IT!!!

Fanboy

Uuuuuhhhh.... [all the glop explodes from the carton]

Lupe

Maybe we shouldn't have stuffed it all in one cartons.

Kyle

Well, the rest of you can sit here and gawk at your goop. But I have on my possession, a very large compendium of spell and charms. [Kyle's necronomicon comes to life] Necronomicon, I need your help to make something disappear.

Ooh!

Kyle

Thanks ever so for the nummy-nummies. Now, I'm off to do some light reading whilst thy digest.[Mrs. Cram swipes Kyle's necronomicon]

Mrs. Cram

Gimme that! Doesn't feel light to me! [shakes Kyle's necronomicon]

No! No! Don't shake me! No, no!

Kyle

[nervously] Careful, that's a very delicate volume.

Oh dear! I think I'm going to... [Mrs. Cram faces the necronomicon to Kyle which pukes on him, Kyle then walks back to the table, head covered in glop, angry, and holding his necromicon] oh... It feels that I have gone through my entire table of contents.

Fanboy

[jumps out of a pot] Knitting a sweater for the grandkid?

Mrs. Cram

It's for my cat! She's 55 lbs. of love! So, D'you finished your glop? It'll make you BIG AND STRONG!!!!

Fanboy

That's what I wanted to talk about, Mrs. Cram. May I call you Cramella? [Mrs. Cram has a blank face] Crama-lama-ding-dong? Okay, not budging on the name. I'll cut to the cheese. We'd like to go. You'd Like us to stay here 'till our bones crumble to dust. I think there's a little ground, So, I Am Gonna write a number for how many minutes I think we should stay. Does it sound like something you'd be interested in? [hands Mrs. Cram the paper]

Mrs. Cram

This isn't a number, it's a W.

Fanboy

You drive a hard bargain! OK, tell ya what, I'll cut my offer in half [tears the piece of paper in half] from a W to just a U.

Mrs. Cram

That's a V.

Fanboy

[sighs] Look, if you're not even gonna negotiate!