Lenny Flynn-Boyle quotes from Fanboy & Chum Chum

Lenny

[finds an ad about the Jingle Contest] Write the winning jingle for the Frosty Mart and win a million Frosty Bucks? What?!? [sips] They're gonna let- [sips] our customers write the jingle? [sips] But they're all idiots.

Lenny

Only eight more hours till I get to ride home! [realizes in dismay] Oh. Eight more hours till I get to ride home. [As 8 hours pass by…] Whew, that was the longest eight hours of my life!

Lenny

I stuffed the ballot box myself! This isn't even an entry form. It's a spelling test…that you failed!

Lenny

[with his mouth full of snakes] Sssssssstop! Put that sssssssssinister ssssscepter back in the sssssstoreroom! [turns around and sees an Air Frost 1 plane land and pull up] It's Air Frosssssssst 1! They're not gonna sssssssssstop me!

Lenny

Didn't you see the people waiting outside?

Frosssssssty Frezzzzzy Frezzzzzze.

I just came for a cup of coffee.

Lenny

They've been like that all day!

Yeah, I wanted to audition for the role of Chimp Chomp, but the costume wouldn't fit around my buffed-out biceps.

Whoo! I totally got mad air! Look at that!

You know, I don't need to brag. [pushes Fanboy into the ground] But I've been approached by some sponsors to play Chimp Chomp professionally. [Grabs Chum Chum and turns him into a ball] But I don't know if I want to give up my amateur status. [puts Chum Chum on Fanboy's head] You know, in case Chimp Chomp becomes an olympic sport.

Alright! Whoo! Hole in one!

don't run too far you two. I wanna flatten you into pancakes and then go get some waffles alright. Yo loser, give me...

Lenny

[turns the sign that shows that there are no more tickets] Sorry. Sold out. No more tickets. [chuckles]

What? No more tickets? Where'd they all go?

Boy, these coupons sure cost an arm and a leg. But I'm sure they'll help me save money in the long run.

But. But. But I gotta see the Chimp Chomp Movie! Chimp Chomp is my whole life! I play it everyday. Even on account I grew up in a Plastic Bubble. Can't you give me a ticket please?

Lenny

Oh. Sorry. They bought the last three.

Lenny

Hey, hey! You can't bring that boat in here! [Throvald growls at him] But, feel free to pillage whatever you want.

Chum Chum

Hi, Lenny.

Lenny

Oh, it's you two.

Lowly serf. We are thirsty from our journey. Bring us drink and leg of mutton.

Lenny

I'm not your serv- [Thorvald chops off the top of Lenny's hat with his battle axe, as the top of the hat slips and falls off; gets out a plate of mutton] You want cheese on that mutton? [smiles nervously]

Lenny

Don't you understand what this means? Wait till the Secret Shopper sees these violations. We'll get fired for sure!

They can't fire you if you're not here.

Lenny

Works for me!

Lenny

Where have you been? Your shift started 7 hours ago!

That reminds me, I gotta leave early, Sandy's getting fitted for new mudflaps. [eats jerky and walks away as Lenny growls]

Lenny

Did you see those weirdos? Carrying that dumb Frosty Freezy Freeze cup around in a briefcase? [chuckles]

Oz

Well, it is super valuable.

What do you mean, val-u-able?

Oz

It's from an old promotion the Frosty Mart ran: Unlimited free refills.

Lenny

Unlimited free refills? They must not know what they have, or else they'd never leave. [scene zooms in on him] Can you imagine the horror?

REFILL! REFILL! REFILL! REFILL!

Fanboy

Thanks for the Chimp Chomp, Boog. Oh, I almost forgot. This broke off. [gives Boog a broken-off joystick, Boog whimpers] Whoo-hoo! wait for me! [exits]

Lenny

[clearly annoyed] I lost three toes. Tell me we got that cup. [Boog whimpers and shows him the broken joystick.]

[shrieks in pain] AAAAAGH!!!

So here's the plan. They put the cup in the cup holder, and... [puts a cup in a cup holder, which slides in and its compartment closes] bada-bing, bada-boom! The cup is ours! [both laugh] That's good, right? [drives Sandy to Fanboy and Chum Chum] Hey, boys. Need a lift?

Fanboy

Yeah, I'm guessing a "lift" is some new form of wedgie, so we're gonna pass.

No, I'll give you a ride in my car.

Chum Chum

You'd let us ride in Sandy?

Fanboy

Come on, Chum Chum! We can finish our contest later!

Lenny

What was your contest?

Fanboy

Seeing who can step in the most gum.

[both leap into Sandy with gum on their feet] Yaaaaay!

[anxiously] Uh, tell me you're not getting gum...on the carpet?

Fanboy

Nope, [he and Chum Chum stretch gum on their feet] it's all on the seats. [Boog grumbles]

Lenny

Uh, say, fellas. If you like, we can put that cup in the cup holder for ya. [chuckles]

Chum Chum

Look, Cuppy. A special seat just for you.

Chum Chum

Hey, it's Oz!

Fanboy

[seeing Oz cross the street] Hey, Oz. Can we give you a ride?

Oz

Well, I've already walked my thirty steps for the day. What the heck? [opens car door] Comin' in! [gets in, squashing Lenny to the window] If you can just scoot over a little, yeah, here we go -- over here.

Hey, hey, watch where you're -- [Oz leans against him as he screams]

Oz

...sure are snug, let me just use a little grease from this chicken. There we go! [pants] With room to spare. [holds a bucket of chicken legs] So what's up? [pants]

[annoyed] Anyone else you'd like to PICK UP?!

Fanboy

Well, now that you mention it. [Boog grumbles] Thanks for giving all our friends a ride!

Lenny

Boog, what are you doing? You can't sell junk in the parking lot.

I'm just getting rid of junk I don't need. [he blows up another balloon]

Lenny

Cat massage made easy? Stress to itch cream? Hey, this stuff is mine!

Like I said. I don't need it. [releases the balloon causing it to deflate as Lenny walks away and Boog laughs]

Lenny

Hey, crazy futuristic robot thing. Come over here, I want to show you something. It's right here next to the microwave.

Dollar-nator

No! I should not be near a microwave! I have a pacemaker!

Lenny

Aw, that's too bad. Then I'll just put it on BAKED POTATO!!!

Lenny

[cycling past Fanboy and Chum Chum] Top of the morning, guys!

Chum Chum

Who was that?

Fanboy

It looks like Lenny. But he's smiling, so…I'm not sure.