Janitor Poopatine quotes from Fanboy & Chum Chum

Who're you? [Reads Janitor Poopatine's name tag] Mr. Poopatine?

He said "poop".

Poop!

Janitor Poopatine

It's Janitor Poopatine! But you can call me Russ. Since the dawn of my career, I have vowed to destroy gum in every corner of the galaxy... hills school district. And now, young gum chewers, you will see what happens when you chew gum in my school.

Janitor Poopatine

What're you waiting for? Someone! Pull me up!

Fanboy

[reading a comic] Sure. As soon as you say that gum's allowed in school...

Janitor Poopatine

Never!

Poopatine

Hey! What's the matter with you?

Fanboy

Well, if you must remember, I lost my mop... And I don't know if I can get her back!

Poopatine

No! I meant I just painted the bench! Can't you read that sign? [Fanboy sees a sign on the bench saying "wet paint"]

Fanboy

You're right! I should fight for her! But what she doesn't take me back?

Poopatine

Get off this bench right now!

Fanboy

I'll never know unless I try.. I'll do it! [while shaking Poopatine's hand] Thanks Janitor Poopatine! [rushes back into the cafeteria] You're the best!

Fanboy

[Gasps] It's Janitor Poopatine!

Chum Chum

Poop! And he's driving a dumpster!

Poopatine

Huh? This is no dumpster! It's a highly advanced fully mechanized trash receptacle! I call it...the Dump Star!

[pause] Ohhhhhh! That's nice! [The Dumpstar's claws grab them] Woah!

Poopatine

Oh, Brenda, stop being so dramatic. They're not replacing you. I'm just teaching them a lesson. Whoa! [falls into the floor which is covered in peanut butter] What are you doing?

Fanboy

Everyone knows the best way to get out ketchup is with peanut butter. Or is it soapy water?

Poopatine

[growls] STOP THIS AT ONCE!

Fanboy

Hold off on the peanut butter, chum.

Chum Chum

[on the roof of the cafeteria] Boy, this peanut butter really sticks to the roof of your school.

Poopatine

I see you have failed. Perhaps I can find another task better suited to your feeble skills.

Poopatine

Stop the Dump Star!

Fanboy

Uh, Chum Chum. I think the hologram's talking, but I don't see anything.

Poopatine

Look at me, you nitwits!

Chum Chum

I don't think I like its tone. [the Poopatine Hologram from earlier appears]

Not me, you nitwits. Him! [points] [Fanboy and Chum Chum see that the hologram was pointing at the real Poopatine, who is on Brenda and is shaking his fist angrily at them]

Chum Chum

Hey, Janitor Poopatine.

Poopatine

Pull over! Pull over!

Fanboy

I think he wants us to honk the horn. [Chum Chum honks the horn] How's that, huh? More horn? He wants more horn. [Chum Chum honks the horn many times]

[offscreen] A-a-ahem!

Fanboy

Oh, hey, guys.

Janitor Poopatine

What a pathetic display.

[holding Fanboy, Chum Chum, Yo and Lupe's money jars] We are taking back our money, and spending it somewhere more respectable!

Hey! Like that Frosty Freezy Freeze stand across the street! [Pan over to Dollarnator at a Frosty Freezy Freeze stand where the boys' lemonade stand was at the start of the episode]

Dollar-nator

Next, please.

Dollarnator???? [the crowd runs to the stand]

Dollar-nator

Come on, guys. Lemonade was so three minutes ago.

Poopatine

No! Stop! This stall is forbidden!

Fanboy

I don't know who this "Bidden" is, but right now, it's for Fanboy! [he and Chum Chum enter the bathroom]

Poopatine

No! Wait! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! [the door closes]