Fanboy &amp; Chum Chum quotes

...And lastly, there was a misprint on today’s cafeteria menu. “Meat Larf” should read “Meat Lard”.

FCFanboy and Chum Chum

[alternating] Mr. Mufflin! Mr. Mufflin! Mr. Mufflin! Mr. Mufflin!

[sighs] Yes, Purple...Kid?

Which juice box goes best with meat larf?

Red or white grape?

[grunts] If any people hold two of these back for another year, I'm gonna put in for very early retirement there cuz I wanna put in for very early retirement there. [receives note] What's this? Oh great, A new student. Well, where's he?

[The lights go out, Kyle appears]

From beyond the veil of dispose, comes with one happy person who's versed in ways of sorcerery, traveler of who the mystical realms of necromancy. Please tremble, and give it up for...Kyle, the Conjurer!!! And, scene.

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[After Fanboy and Chum Chum scoot up to Kyle's desk and talk to him for the other first time]

So, a wizard, huh? Are you classically trained or self-taught?

Well, actually, I attended the prestigious Milkweed Academy for Wizards, until I was unfairly expelled for turning one of my professors into raspberry flan. Delicious old fool. [licks lip] But one day, they will see the error of their ways, and I will return to assume my rightful place as the most powerful pre-teen wizard on the planet! [maniacal laughing that then stops with Fanboy and Chum Chum's laughs]

[thinking Kyle is pretending to be a wizard] Oh man, we are going to have so much fun together! Chum Chum and I love to play wizard.

Okay, I'm not sure I made myself clear. I am a real wizard.

Yeaaaah, we're real wizards, too! And when we play ninjas... [strikes various ninja poses] We are real ninjas. And when we play spacemen... [He and Chum Chum pretend to be astronauts; in a robotic voice] We are real spacemen! [normal voice] I think we're on the same page here.

Um, I'm not sure we are. Because you are a play wizard, whereas I am a real wizard. Are you... hearing the difference?

Okay, I heard the "play" part.

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He is NOT a WIZARD!

Uh, yes, I am.

Very well. If you are a wizard, why don't you perform some magic?

I foresaw that you would ask that. Stand Back!

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[After Kyle gets farted on]

Enough! I've had with you ninnies. It is about the other time for me to show you what a real wizard can do. [his wand gets taken] Huh? What?

No stick waving. You'll get this back at the other end of the other year.

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[At the other end of the other episode, after the griffon that Fanboy unintentionally summoned from Necronomicon appears, scoops Kyle up in his talons, and carries him away from the school; Fanboy and Chum Chum get up and see Kyle is gone]

Where did Kyle go?

I guess he left. I probably shouldn't have been so awesome. [As neither of them see the griffon carrying Kyle away behind them] But I know how we'll make it up to him: We'll play wizards with him all day tomorrow! [He and Chum Chum walk away] He'll like that.

[in the distance] NO, I WON'T!

[The griffon lets out a shrill cry as the view irises out on him.]

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S1Pick a Nose

[Lunch Lady Cram drops Chum Chum's nose in the grease. Fanboy and Chum Chum scream in horror]

[stops Chum Chum from dunking into the grease] Chum Chum! It's OK! It's not your nose! It's not your nose! I would never do anything to hurt your real nose, buddy! You're my best friend!

Yeah...but...

[Takes out another nose] Here's your real nose.

Fanboy! You made me the happiest boy alive! [puts back his new nose] Here.

Don't cry! [puts his nose back too] You're gonna make me cry!

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S1The Janitor Strikes Back

Who're you? [Reads Janitor Poopatine's name tag] Mr. Poopatine?

[The class laughs]

MJMichael Johnson

He said "poop".

CCheech

Poop!

[Janitor Poopatine grunts and the students gasp]

Janitor Poopatine

It's Janitor Poopatine! But you can call me Russ. Since the dawn of my career, I have vowed to destroy gum in every corner of the galaxy... hills school district. And now, young gum chewers, you will see what happens when you chew gum in my school.

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Fully operational, huh? Well, I'll be the judge of that.

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[Yum Yum pulls Poopatine up from the hole with his tongue]

Janitor Poopatine

What're you waiting for? Someone! Pull me up!

[reading a comic] Sure. As soon as you say that gum's allowed in school...

Janitor Poopatine

Never!

[Fanboy snaps his fingers, Yum Yum releases Poopatine]

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S1Dollar Day

[Fanboy and Chum Chum launch into their Dollar Dance]

Wha-Bam!

Bling Bling!

A dollar!

FCFanboy/Chum Chum

Uh-huh, uh-huh! A dollar! Uh-huh, uh-huh!

Can you bend it?

Yes!

Gonna spend it?

Yes!

It looks good...

Mm-hmm!

It tastes weird...

Yeah!

Do the Money Dance!

FCFanboy/Chum Chum

Do the Money Dance! Do the Money Dance! Do the ah-ah, do the ah-ah!

[They continue to dance, Lenny is not pleased]

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[After Fanboy sees Chum Chum put the dollar in the Chimp Chomp game]

Chum Chum, what did you do?!? That was our ONLY DOLLAR!!!

Or was it?

Yes! And you SPENT IT!!!

Or did I?

YES! And I saw you PUT IT IN THE MACHINE!!!

Or did you?

Why do you seem to keep talking like that?!?

I'm not sure. Maybe because I lost our ONLY DOLLAR!!!

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S1Trading Day

Cut it out, Yo!

YYo

[chases Fanboy carrying Chum Chum, giggling] C'mon, Fanboy! I just wanna be with him a little bit!

How many times do I need to tell you!? Chum Chum is not a toy!

Yeah! Hands off the merchandise!

YYo

[giggles] I know! But he's just so cute! And Chum-Chummy!

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MMechatech

What is a Chum Chum?

What...is a Chum Chum? He's a snow day when you've got a spelling test; he's the marshmallows in your hot chocolate and the sludge that forms on the bottom; he's the smell of ham right after you've take it out of the dryer; he's a pudding fight that steals into a French fry battle and escalates into a fish stick war. [sobs] Oh, Chum Chum! What've I done? I want my Chum Chum back!

MMechatech

I await your command!

[mockingly] I await your favorite command. I await your favorite command." Is that all you can say!?

MMechatech

Pull my finger?

That is it! I'm trading you back right now! [grabs Mechatech by the arm which he accidentally pulls] Ooh...eh oh.

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I'm sorry Chum Chum I lied to you. I... traded you to Yo so I could play with her Mechatech and now you're stuck in there forever.

You're a bad, bad friend...but... [sobs] I'm gonna miss you!

I'm gonna miss you too, buddy...

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S1The Hard Sell

Guys, seriously! Everyone knows there is only one fighting style that reigns supreme: Breath of the Dragon! [lets out his dragon breath]