Chuny quotes from E.R.

Chuny

Did somebody order a school bus?

Benton

[to Carter] Just take a deep breath, alright. Need you to stay on your feet here. He's totally dry. Trendelenburg.

Carter

I think I'm going to be sick.

Benton

No, you're not. Internal CPR.

Carol

He's fibrillating!

Dr. Benton

Damn it. Twenty-five clear.

Chuny

Got a beep. Nope, it's gone.

Benton

Fifty. Clear.

Chuny

Asystole.

Carol

Well, that helped a lot.

Malik

Smells kind of like a barbeque in here.

Carter

Oh god. [passes out]

Malik

Ha, ha. Welcome back, Carter.

Jerry

Chuny, you were on yesterday. Tell Dr. Ross Scottie Pippen was in here.

Chuny

Oh, yeah and so were Jordan and Rodman. Jerry and Conni and I beat them three-on-three.

Mark

Jerry!

Jerry

I called maintenance 4 times; they're working on it.

Susan

Ohhh, maybe it's the ghost from the 5th floor.

Mark

Not you, too.

Lydia

It's a true story, Mark! It's up there!

Susan

Poor guy, still pining away for the woman he loved.

Lydia

I thought he broke her heart.

Susan

Broke his own heart is more like it.

Mark

And how do you know this?

Susan

Because that's the story. It was Halloween night, the 1930s or something, up on the 5th floor. There was rain and thunder and lightning... he was a doctor, she was an intern...

She loved him, didn't she?

Susan

[nods] But a really wealthy, handsome patient had fallen in love with her, and asked her to marry him.

Chuny

What did she say?

Susan

She didn't know what to say. So... she told the doctor.

Chuny

What did he say?

Susan

He said nothing.

I thought he loved her!

Susan

He did love her, but he just stood there, he couldn't get the words out. And then, after she walked across the room, she turned back and looked at him... she put her hand to her lips, and blew him what would be their first and only kiss. They say it blew through him like a rush of cold wind.

Chuny

That's so sad!

Jerry

What happened?

Susan

Unfortunately, the doc fell out the 5th floor window, so that's kind of it.

Mark

Well, I'm sure they worked on him in the O.R. for awhile.

Mark

So, should I be looking over my shoulder for your father with a shotgun?

Chuny

No, my brother Julio. He packs a .45.

Chuny

I thought you had a date.

Mark

Canceled.

Chuny

They busted you?

Mark

They busted me.

Chuny

Men are so stupid. How many women were you dating when you were with me?

Mark

Just you.

Chuny

Really?

Mark

Yeah, you know, except for that night when my neighbor, the ballerina, broke up with her boyfriend. You know, I had to comfort her.

Chuny

Yeah, so that was like a public service.

Mark

Yeah. Other than that, I was totally faithful.

Chuny

Oh, I feel blessed.

Chuny

I thought Weaver was already fitting you for a lab coat.

Carol

Yeah, well, white adds ten pounds. I think I'll stick to pink.

Carol

Can I have your attention everybody. Hello, can I have your attention please. I have an announcement to make. Can you turn down that music. Okay I have kept this a secret far too long, Doug Ross and I are seeing each other again.... And we are very happy.

Okay, pay up. Pay up.

Chuny

I was a week too late, I thought New Years for sure.

Lydia

I'm surprised that they kept it a secret this long.

Carol

You knew?

Randi

Oh please honey it was obvious.

Kerry

Well, I didn't know.

Anna

Me either.

Doug

Maybe something you guys didn't know, that we've been seeing each other for a while now, again and I think it would be a great idea if she would marry me.

Doug

Everyone talk her into it.

Chuny

Carol and Doug get it right this time.

Carol

You always have to outdo me.

Doug

I had the opportunity and I had to take it.

Carter

When was the last time anyone bathed this guy?

Chuny

From the looks of these bedsores, about the same time they turned him.

Carter

So much for "honor thy father."

Chuny

Hey, Anna, are you the one who had that voodoo woman yesterday?

Anna

She's back?

Chuny

Yeah, exam 3. Chief complaint: voodoo man has taken over her body.

Anna

Wait a minute, this isn't the same one. My voodoo patient was 60-something.

Carter

I had a voodoo guy last week.

Chuny

Oh, no. Voodoo epidemic.

Lucy

Did I say the wrong thing?

Mark

In general, it's probably not a good idea to show up the residents.

Lucy

So, I should give the wrong answer?

Mark

Tricky, isn't it?

Chuny

Welcome aboard.

Carter

Oh, Chuny. Hi.

Chuny

Hi.

Carter

You got a minute?

Chuny

Sure. What's up?

Carter

Umm. Earlier, with Lucy and I. I'm sure that you have your suspicions about what we were doing in there. But, actually, we were just..

Chuny

Knocking boots?

Carter

What?

Chuny

Doing the old nasty? Hey, the more the merrier, I say.

Carter

Actually we weren't doing anything.

Chuny

Mm-hmm.

Carter

I mean, she's a med student, you know? I'm a..resident.

Chuny

That stuff happens all the time.

Carter

Lucy's like- Lucy's like a little..sister, or something, to me.

Chuny

Ah. You do that with your little sister?

Carter

Nothing happened! We didn't do anything! Do you - Do you hear what I'm tell - and besides, I already have a girlfriend.

Chuny

Ahh. That insurance lady?

Carter

She's a financial advisor.

Chuny

Hm.

Carter

Roxanne and I have a lot in common.

Units are pulling up!

Chuny

She's too pushy, you know. Always trying to sell you something. I'd stick with Lucy. You two make a cute couple.

Carter

We are not a couple!

Haleh

The Sixties were from 1961 to 1970.

What about 1960.

That was the last year of the Fifties.

Haleh

Which means the new millenium really starts in 2001.

Chuny

Then why am I spending half my paycheck on New Year's Eve plans?

You and the rest of the world.

Connie

All I'm saying is, you can't go wrong with a Chevy.

Chuny

I've gone wrong many times in a Chevy.

Yosh

I've always admired the Subaru.

Randi

I say go with something classic, like an old Mustang convertible.

Carol

Two babies, Randi, remember?

Chuny

I heard Mark's coming back today.

Haleh

Thank God. If Weaver gets any nastier, we're gonna have to call Animal Control.