E.R. quotes

Benton

Do you know how to start an IV?

Carter

Uh, actually, no.

Benton

I thought you were third year.

Carter

I am, but all I've done is dermatology and psychiatry.

Benton

The well-dressed specialties, huh?

Mark

See, there's two kinds of doctors. The kind that gets rid of their feelings. And the kind that keeps them. If you're going to keep your feelings, you're going to get sick from time to time. That's just how it works.

Mark

…by the way, I went to medical school with Dr. Benton. He used to get sick all the time. So, don't let him give you any crap. You'll be fine.

Ross

(to the mother of a battered baby) How dare you treat your child like this? He's a little kid! I try to be understanding in my job, but lady, this just stinks.

Susan

Mr. Parker, if there's one thing you learn in my job, it's that nothing is certain. Nothing that seems very bad and nothing that seems very good. Nothing is certain. Nothing.

Benton

(having first spotted Carter) Oh, no! Would you look at this?

Mark

That's the first tailored white coat I've ever seen.

Benton

Isn't he lovely?

Susan

Lovely.

Mark

Do you think he knows anything?

Ross

He knows how to dress.

Are you married?

Susan

No, I'm a doctor.

The unit's looking to you, Mark. You set the tone.

Benton

[showing Carter around the ER] This is Dr. Morgenstern. He's the head of ER. Watch out. He eats students for lunch.

[shaking hands with Carter] David Morgenstern.

Carter

John Carter.

[to Benton] Uh, when did that severed hand go up?

Benton

Vascular took it up an hour ago. I just hope they can do it right.

[turning to Carter] Dr. Benton is one of the best residents we have. You learn everything you can from him, except attitude.

Benton

He didn't mean that.

[offscreen] Yes, he did.

Carter

[sighs] I thought I was gonna be sick. [pause] I'm sorry.

Mark

Don't ever say you're sorry. See, there's two kinds of doctors: there's the kind that gets rid of their feelings, and the kind that keeps them. If you're gonna keep your feelings, you're gonna get sick from time to time. That's just how it works. [pause] Keep your head down. [pause, squats down beside Carter] People come in here and they're sick and dying and bleeding, and they need our help. Helping them is more important than how we feel.

Mark

But it's still a pain the ass sometimes.

Mark

Sometimes, I just want to quit and do something else. [looks at Carter and smiles] Yeah. [pause] Why don't you take a few more minutes?

Carter

[nods] Okay.

Mark

By the way, I was in medical school with Benton. He used to get sick all the time. So don't let him give you any crap. You'll be fine.

Carol

[as she enters the lounge and all the doctors stare at her] Is something wrong?

Benton

Oh, you bet there is. We're out of coffee again because the nurses have been taking it, that's what's wrong.

Carol

So, make some more.

Benton

Make some more? We work 36 hours on, 18 off, which is 90 hours a week, 52 weeks a year. For that, we are paid $23,739 before taxes, and we also have to make the coffee?

Carol

My heart is breaking.

Benton

[Carter gives him an H&P on a patient] Mother's maiden name?

Haleh

He's kidding.

Mark

[about Carol's suicide attempt] It's not your fault, Doug. You're going to have to forgive yourself sooner or later.

Doug

I thought you were some kind of saint. I was going to start calling you Mahatma.

Benton

[Carter memorizes and gives him a H&P on a patient] Mother's maiden name?

Haleh

He's joking.