El Tigre: The Adventures of Manny Rivera quotes

Rodolfo

Manny, I'm home. How are you kids doing?

Bored.

Frida

There's nothing fun to do.

Rodolfo

Fun is what you make of it. For instance, today I battled giant squid creatures trying to steal the Jeweled Mule of Maya. Fun! The leader escaped with the mule, but I will find him. This I swear!

Frida

I thought you quit superheroing.

Rodolfo

Technically, I'm retired. But as long as there is evil, and I am young and vital enough to oppose it, I will.

Manny

You're super macho.

Frida

You were right. Watching you dad sleep is less boring than TV. Hey, he forgot to take his boots off. [walks up to take the Bronze Boots of Truth off his feet]

Manny

[stops her; sputtering] He never takes off the Bronze Boots of Truth. He gets all his White Pantera abilities from them.

Frida

[walks up close] Oh, yeah? And those abilities would be?

Manny

[illustrating] He can run, jump and fight, with super macho speed and strength. And anyone the boots those touch is forced to tell the truth.

Frida

[touches the boots and speaks in a hypnotic-like state] Once, after eating ribs, I wiped my hands on a dog. [takes her finger away as she breaks out of the hypnosis] Cool! Dude, we gotta take these babies out for a spin!

Manny

We can't steal my dad's boots!

Frida

Not steal, borrow. We'll put them back before he wakes up.

Manny

Hmm… I will inherit them someday, so I should know how to use them, but...

Frida

[popping over] You are a good son.

Rodolfo

[reading a book as Manny shimmies up against the wall after running out of his grandfather's room; suspiciously] Manny, what are you up to?

Manny

Oh, nothing. Helping the poor. [dashes away to his room]

Rodolfo

Ah, the poor. Very good.

Manny

[sitting under his bed sheets and turns on a flashlight as he looks through a magazine] Oh, man, this so good!

Rodolfo

[bursting in] MANNY! I just spoke to the poor, and you have not been helping them.

Frida

[whispering to Manny while they stand in front of the Guacamole de Los Angeles in the mercado] Tattoo Maker.

Manny

Frida, I can't go home without guacamole. The giant floating tattoo dad head won't let me!

[disguised as a sweet old lady] Perhaps I can be of assistance. I just happened to have something that might help you. [steps out of the shadows] Guacamole de los Anglos!

Manny

I don't know. Mysterious old lady... emerging from the shadows.

Frida

[suspiciously] Seems kind of sketchy.

It's free.

Sold. [they leave the mercado with the guacamole]

[laughing evilly] I knew the Riveras had to buy that guacamole today. Now they fallen for the totally brilliant trap of… [takes of his old lady disguise] Dr. Chipotle, Jr. [infuriated] THE FILTHY SWINE! I remember when El Tigre and White Pantera captured my father. [flashback to that time; voice-over] He was minding his own business using his jalapeño monster to rob the Miracle City Bank. And they took him! For no reason! That very night, I swore an oath of vengeance. [savagely] I... Don't... Like... YOU!!! [back to present] Now, at last, THEY WILL PAY!!!!

Weren't you just dressed up like an old lady?

[revealing himself on the TV screen after his guacamole monster takes over Rodolfo and Grandpapi] So, El Tigre, we meet again.

And you are… who?

Dr. Chipotle Jr. Son of Dr. Chipotle Sr.

Doesn't ring a bell.

Frida

He saved us all from the evil guacamole!

Rodolfo

Thank you, Man- wait, what evil guacamole?

Frida

Duh. The free stuff we got from that creepy old lady so Manny could use your money to buy the tattoo maker. [realized what she said; disappointed] Dang!

Rodolfo

Manuel Pablo Gutierrez O'Brian Equihua Rivera, what is going on here?!

Frida

We can explain everything. See, there were these aliens, and then they grabbed my face…

[sighs with guilt] No, Frida. It's time to tell the truth. [45 minutes later…] And worst of all, I made you guys miss the big game.

Rodolfo

So, you stole money from me and you lied. But, you also risked your life to save us and then told the truth. [thinks for a second] Let's see, what would be an appropriate punishment?

Manny

[as Frida and Zoe both glare angrily at each other] What? You still mad at her?

Frida

[turns to Manny] Duh! Remember the finger-paint thing? [Flashback to Kindergarten where she is carrying some paint before Zoe purposely trips her, causing her to fly across the room, screaming; two paint cans tip her goggles and one entirely covers her in green paint, and she cries, scaring the other kids away] And the "kick-me" thing? [Another flashback to where she dodges Zoe and she slaps a piece of paper reading, "Kick me", behind her back as she walks into the Karate room, unnoticed, and a riot is heard from the other side; Final flashback shows her tapping on her locker and a bear pops out and attacks her] And the savage bear attack thing?!

Manny

Ah, you gotta let that stuff go, Frida.

Frida

Also, she once told everyone at school you had a perm.

Manny

[gasps in shock, then viciously enraged] SHE MUST PAY! [on the last word with a fiery background]

Frida

Forget about Zoe. We got party prep to do.

Zoe

How dare she not invite me to that party I would not be caught dead at! [vengefully] Vendetta! Frida Suárez, I will have my revenge! [sees Manny taking his backpack out of his locker and leaves] And I'll use your best friend to get it. For I, Zoe Aves, am secretly… [transforms into her supervillain identity] Black Cuervo! [then notices a goat right next to her and points out her wrist laser cannon at it] This must remain our secret, goat.

[as Black Cuervo runs past him and Mrs. Chichita after saving her] Hey! Nobody crashes grandmommies in my town, you fiendish… [Black Cuervo stops and stares at him with a glare as the camera zooms in on her face] Girl?

[whispering from outside Frida's house] Frida!

Frida

[wakes up and gets up from her bed to the window; whispering] Where have you been?!

I'm only six hours late.

Frida

You're two days and six hours late! The party is tomorrow. Now go home! [turns off the lights and goes back to sleep]

Frida? Frida? [shouting] FRIDA!

Emiliano

El Tigre! My daughter may NOT receive visitors after 8 P.M.!

Manny

Uh, Frida? I brought you the piñata.

Frida

You did? Oh, Manny, I knew… [shocked to see Manny's poorly made piñata] This is my awesome birthday piñata?

Manny

Ye…abe?

Frida

Pretzels and a dirty sock?!

Manny

It still needs some fine-tuning.

Frida

Where have you been the last two days?! What kind of piñata is this?! WHAT'S THE SQUARE ROOT OF NINE?!

Manny

[confused] Square root?

Frida

I need help with my math homework, which you would know if you were any kind of friend!

Manny

If you were any kind of friend, you'd know… [takes off his eye patch and throws it on the ground, angrily] I STINK AT MATH!

Frida

You just plain STINK!

You gonna take that, Manny?

Manny

Hey, if you're such a great friend, why'd I make you such a lousy piñata?

Frida

Well, since you're no kind of friend, you… you're… UNINVITED to my party! [gasps as she covers her mouth]

[seeing Frida wearing the belt buckle he made for her as an early birthday present] You're wearing the belt buckle?

Frida

My best friend made it for me.

No one can help you now, chica!

Black Cuervo

Think again, hero! [opens a slot on her wrist brace with a red button inside and pushes it; sound effect of a bird's cry echoes, Lady Gobbler and Voltura fly into sight, landing on both sides of her; They grab both her hands and fly off; vowing with vengeance] Party while you can, El Tigre! I shall have my revenge on you! VENDETTA!

Manny

[searching through the garbage can] Oooh! A broken yo-yo! Buffalo jerky! [gasps] And two doorknobs.

Frida

Behold! Perfectly good roller skates made from household garbage.

Manny

It's like my dad says, [imitating Rodolfo] "You don't need money to have fun."

Frida

I even made a safety gear.

Manny

Now all we need is another pair of skates.

Frida

Pssh. We don't need anything!

Manny

This is gonna be awesome if we survive.

And on the right of the plane, you can see Manny and Frida about to do something stupid.

Manny

So, all that work really paid off.

Frida

Your dad was totally wrong. You do need money to have fun. LuxeBlades, reverse somersault!

Manny

LuxeBlades, give a beat, low rider style.