Original El Tigre quotes from El Tigre: The Adventures of Manny Rivera

[revealing himself on the TV screen after his guacamole monster takes over Rodolfo and Grandpapi] So, El Tigre, we meet again.

And you are… who?

Dr. Chipotle Jr. Son of Dr. Chipotle Sr.

Doesn't ring a bell.

Frida

He saved us all from the evil guacamole!

Rodolfo

Thank you, Man- wait, what evil guacamole?

Frida

Duh. The free stuff we got from that creepy old lady so Manny could use your money to buy the tattoo maker. [realized what she said; disappointed] Dang!

Rodolfo

Manuel Pablo Gutierrez O'Brian Equihua Rivera, what is going on here?!

Frida

We can explain everything. See, there were these aliens, and then they grabbed my face…

[sighs with guilt] No, Frida. It's time to tell the truth. [45 minutes later…] And worst of all, I made you guys miss the big game.

Rodolfo

So, you stole money from me and you lied. But, you also risked your life to save us and then told the truth. [thinks for a second] Let's see, what would be an appropriate punishment?

[as Black Cuervo runs past him and Mrs. Chichita after saving her] Hey! Nobody crashes grandmommies in my town, you fiendish… [Black Cuervo stops and stares at him with a glare as the camera zooms in on her face] Girl?

[whispering from outside Frida's house] Frida!

Frida

[wakes up and gets up from her bed to the window; whispering] Where have you been?!

I'm only six hours late.

Frida

You're two days and six hours late! The party is tomorrow. Now go home! [turns off the lights and goes back to sleep]

Frida? Frida? [shouting] FRIDA!

Emiliano

El Tigre! My daughter may NOT receive visitors after 8 P.M.!

[seeing Frida wearing the belt buckle he made for her as an early birthday present] You're wearing the belt buckle?

Frida

My best friend made it for me.

No one can help you now, chica!

Black Cuervo

Think again, hero! [opens a slot on her wrist brace with a red button inside and pushes it; sound effect of a bird's cry echoes, Lady Gobbler and Voltura fly into sight, landing on both sides of her; They grab both her hands and fly off; vowing with vengeance] Party while you can, El Tigre! I shall have my revenge on you! VENDETTA!

Manny

Where are we gonna get the money? We've found, stolen, and returned every pet in Miracle City.

Frida

There's got to be a way to get it, 'cause we've gotta get Luxepods! [looks at the missing poster of Taco as the winds unfolds it, revealing the price from $100 to $100,000] Santa Claus!

Manny

Okay, that's enough money. We are going to Calavera! [changes into El Tigre]

You like a hot dog, señor?

The only dog I'm looking for is a taco.

We're all looking for a taco, compadre. And I think we're hungrier than you.

[to a blonde haired boy as he's about to have a sloppy joe] You are wearing new white shirt and are about to eat a sloppy joe. To keep your shirt clean, from now on you will eat only crackers. Flavorless, dry crackers! [then to a punk haired boy, who's struggling to open a jar of hair dye] Lack of muscle tone is unhealthy. Do 10,000 push-ups... A day! [the boy starts doing push-ups; to a brown boy, playing with a yo-yo] Stop wasting time with that yo-yo and do something constructive, like... [tosses him a banjo] Learn to play the banjo! Play better! [to a blonde girl while hanging upside down] And you. High heels are bad for your arches. TAKE 'EM OFF! [the girl quickly takes off her high heels; to everyone in the school] El Tigre is here! To… HELP! [echoes]

Frida

Manny, you can't force people to change. But you're not doing it to me, so who cares, right? All right, let's get going.

Going?

Frida

Yeah, me and the Atomic Sombreros are doing a lunch concert, remember?

This band thing is going nowhere, Frida. You need to give it up and learn something practical, like how to tap dance!

Frida

[gasps in shock] Give up my band?! Wait, now you are doing it to me!

[shaking irately] I said… LEARN TO TAP DANCE! [smiles and leaves]

Somebody should really do something about that guy, huh?

Frida

Yeah. Somebody should. [later in a closet, she assembles all the students for a meeting] People, I want Help-zilla out, and the old Manny back. And Sergio here has an idea how we can do it.

[stepping in] I believe I know someone who can help. Someone who can… show El Tigre the error of his ways.

Frida

Like a counselor, right?

[laughs] Yes. A counselor. [starts laughing maniacally] Uh, I, uh, I just remembered a joke.

[examining his statue] Man, I look good.

You look like a BULLY!

[turns around, seeing Frida and all the other students angrily facing him] Frida? What is this?

Frida

[sternly] Manny, there's someone I want you to talk to. Where's Sergio's friend?

[drops down in front] Here!

Frida

Ooh, this may have been a mistake.

It's over, pardner! No more bullying these fine-a folks!

Bullying them? I was helping them. Right, guys? [the other students tear down his statue] I thought I was doing good.

Frida

Manny, you've gotta smash Sartana's guitar. It'll make her crumble to dust, and her banditos!

And Zebra Donkey!

Frida

Oh, yeah.

I can't lose him again! I just can't! There has to be another way!

Frida

Hypnosis. Time machine. Pixie dust.

Zebra Donkey sacrificed himself…

Frida

To save us all.

Frida, this proves it's not safe to be around me. I may have saved you this time, but...

Frida

Saved me? I saved you.

But…

Frida

But nothing. I gotta stick around to make sure you don't get hurt.

Hmm... Makes sense to me. So you wanna go to the carnival?

Frida

You read my mind.

Uh, why aren't we moving?

Fools! [cackles] No one steals from Sartana of the Dead!

Frida

I love those guys.

[unlocking the cell lock] They lied to us so we'd rob Sartana for them.

Frida

[in the same happy tone as before] I hate those guys.

Emiliano

[catches his daughter; proudly] Frida, I knew you could do it.

[concerned] Where's Manny?

[facing Señor Siniestro] Looks like I'm gonna learn to knit tea cozies.