Sartana of the Dead quotes from El Tigre: The Adventures of Manny Rivera

You're like a pathetic piñata! Let's see if you're full of candy!

[screams in frustration] The gypsy lady I stole the string from guaranteed it would work! [savagely bashes her mystic guitar on the ground, causing the graveyard to crack open and rumble] Oh, like that… Right.

[giving her announcement] Villains of Miracle City… and White Pantera. [Rodolfo waves sheepishly] I am retiring! [all the villains gasp] I've had a good run of evil over the past few hundred years, but these old bones need a rest. It's time someone else ruled my empire. On that thought, please, welcome my grandson… Django of the Dead!

[giving out her attention to all the villains] Villains, you will all compete in a series of events designed by me. If you lose even once, you will be eliminated… [all the villains gasp in shock] From the tournament. [all the villains then sigh in relief] Ah. The last competitors are here.

The final event! Whoever wins, inherits my empire! You must knock your opponents off the platforms. I call this challenge… Knock Your Opponents off the Platforms!

[cackling] Fools! Death always wins in the end!

Frida

Looks like this is actually gonna work out.

Manny

Of course. All we did was use evil magic to violate the laws of nature. What could go wrong?

[appearing; savagely] THIEVES!

Frida

[to Manny; annoyingly through gritted teeth] Never say, "What could go wrong?"

[gets back her mystic guitar and summons her skeleton banditos] Steal from me and give me a bad makeover?! You will PAY!

Uh, why aren't we moving?

Fools! [cackles] No one steals from Sartana of the Dead!

Manny

Oh, I hate this. There's gotta be some way I can make it up to him.

Breaking News: We interrupt the Celebration of Heroes to take you to the Celebration of Heroes. Sartana of the Dead is attacking the convention center.

[along with the other heroes, all facing her] Forget it, Sartana. You'll never get in!

I don't have to. Because you'll never get out! [cackles and strums her mystic guitar, creating an unbreakable force field around the convention center and trapping all the heroes]

Grandpapi

They all stuck in there? Is time for the list! [takes out his list of robberies] "Places I hasn't robbed yet. Numero #1, the place that only sells light bulbs." Have fun, children!

Frida

Superheroes, cops, fire fighters. Every hero in the city is out of commission!

Manny

No. There's still... [spins his belt and changes into…] El Tigre!

Frida

Uh, I hate to puke in your piñata, but didn't that Hero-meter thing-y say you're not a hero?

Time to prove it wrong.

Soon, Quetzalcoatl's Stone will be mine! Combined with my mystic guitar… I WILL RULE THE WORLD! [enters the Hall of Gems and climbs up the steps of her banditos] At last, I will have the power I need to… [gasps as she finds the stone being replaced by a rubber duck]

This what you're looking for? [spinning the stone with the tip of his finger]

Impudent boy, that stone is mine! Banditos, END THEM!

Sartana, I challenge you to a game. If you win, I'll give you the stone. If I win, I get your guitar.

Oh, I love this game! Set 'em up.

The stone, where will she land? [hides the stone in one of the cups and shuffles them] So, is it somewhere there? Is it somewhere where? [pan up to reveal that he has hidden the stone in his nose]

[points to the cup in the middle] Ah-ha. There!

[lifts up the cup, revealing the stone is not there, to Sartana's shock] Oh, too bad.

[surprised] Incredible! Where could it have gone?

Fool! Did you really think I would give you my mystic guitar? Listen well to the music of your DOOM! [strums her "mystic guitar," which is soon revealed that Frida swapped it with a broomstick]

Frida

You gotta keep an eye on your stuff when there's no cops around.

[after Frida throws a potato at her in the face] A potato? That's the best you can do?

Frida

Um…yes?

[attaching Manny's El Tigre belt to her mystic guitar as a guitar strap] I've been needing a new guitar strap for a long time now. [to Frida] So, this must be the 10th time I've captured you this month.

Frida

[sighs remorsefully] I'll just take my usual cell. Hey, who messed up my cards?

Manny

[whispering] Can't believe you stole my belt.

Frida

Manny! How'd you know where I'd be?

Manny

Are you kidding?! You spend more time here than Sartana does.

Frida

[upset] I'm sorry I took your belt, Manny. I wanted to feel powerful, just for once.

Manny

Then how come you took it for twice?

Frida

Why are you whispering anyway?

Manny

So Sartana doesn't hear… [yelps as Sartana catches him]

Frida

MANNY!

[holding him up] Ah, the one true Tigre. You will make a fine skeleton bandito. Once I strip off all your bothersome flesh! [sharpens her razor-sharped claws to kill him as Frida frees herself from her cell] Now you know how it feels to be powerless, eh?

Frida

[alarmed in horror] Sartana of the Dead!

Rodolfo

[fiercely] You dare intrude upon my father's special day?! [he and Manny change into White Pantera and El Tigre, preparing to take her down]

Grandpapi

You're making a mistake!

Don't worry, we'll get rid of this filthy garbage before your fiancée gets here. [he and his father start charging at Sartana together]

Grandpapi

[gets in the way, defending her] NO! [Manny and Rodolfo crash into him] You no understand. This filthy garbage, she is my fiancée! [Sartana waves sweetly and they both hold hands]

[dreamily] Pumey, the love of my afterlife.

[not believing it; shocked] It's like a horrible dream.

Frida

Or a really romantic nightmare.