Now, Manny, we have work to do. The divine angel who is your mother is coming to visit! And we must… clean up this mess, at once!
El OsoWhy, man?
Oh, you gotta hear this story! [Flashback story begins with his parents walking through the park and Maria pushing him in a baby carriage as a baby; voice-over] When my folks first got married, Mom used to think Dad being White Pantera was cool. Then, one day…
FRFlashback Rodolfo
[changes into his White Pantera identity and runs over to stop El Mal Verde, who's causing trouble] Halt, fiend! So says, White- [gets smashed repeatedly by El Mal Verde's metal club; El Mal Verde laughs and walks away; holds up a thumbs up, beaten and battered as Maria runs over to him while carrying Baby Manny]
[voice-over as Maria starts hyperventilating] It was the first time she saw my dad get hurt, and she totally lost it.
[Fade to giant monster creatures attacking the city, and Manny, now a toddler]
[voice-over] Maria didn't want me to be a superhero anymore. She couldn't stand to see me in danger. But I could not ignore the crisp, clean refreshing call of crime fighting! It is in my blood! [Maria watches in horror as he gets beaten up by the giant monsters, then starts hyperventilating in panic, pulls her hair, and screams] In the end, she could not stand it anymore. [Fade to her packing up her suitcases] She had to… [sobs] leave me!
[kisses Manny on the forehead, then stands outside the front door as Rodolfo looks on in heartbreak] I'm sorry, but I married the man, not the mask.
[The door closes in front of her and Granpapi enters a split second later]
[voice-over] I moved in to make sure Rodolfo and Manny would be okay. Also because I crashed my evil headquarters of evil. Maria's career as a mariachi singer took off after that. She traveled the world, performing for adoring fans everywhere, even Luxembourg! Manny goes to visit her every month.
[Cut to Manny first getting his El Tigre belt]
[voice-over] I got my El Tigre belt after Mom went on tour. [changes into El Tigre for the first time; end of flashback] And I, uh…haven't had a chance to tell her about it yet.
Dude, she is gonna freak when she finds out!
I know. So that's why we gotta clean. If my mom sees all this wreckage, she'll know we've been doing superhero stuff, and she'll freak out.
El Oso
[agitated] I just asked why you gotta hide stuff! You don't gotta tell me your whole life story, man!
Hurry! Maria will be here tomorrow! And I will once again behold a sweet goddess without whom my life has become a pit of misery. And who I never think about anymore.
Didn't I tell you? Maria called to say she's coming early. She should be here in about, eh… no minutes.
[The doorbell rings and Rodolfo freezes in fear, realizing that Maria has arrived]
Move it, people! We've got evidence to hide!
[Manny, Frida, and Grandpapi rush around the house, cleaning up the mess and covering El Oso with a blanket, disguising him as a chair]
He's frozen in fear of seeing his one and only true love, who he never thinks about anymore.
ETEl Tigre/Manny
[after taking down El Oso] Mom, may I be excused from the table to take El Oso to jail?
El Oso
Aw, man, I almost got rid of the prison lice. And I'm gonna bust out again, anyways.
ETEl Tigre/Manny
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
ETEl Tigre/Manny & Customers
He is?
El Oso
I am?
Yes. Since I've been back, you fought El Oso 17 times. He doesn't need jail, he needs to change.
ETEl Tigre/Manny
Villains can't change, Mom.
Well, maybe they would, if someone taught them about compassion and anger management. Oh, and how to be lice-free.
ETEl Tigre/Manny
I really think...
No, Manny. My mind is made up. I'll make Miracle City a better place from the bottom up. This I swear!
[drops the "One Week Without Evil" cake on the ground when she sees the fighting] What's going on?
ETEl Tigre/Manny
Why don't you tell her, Dr. Betrayal?
Uh… We were just, um… We were…
El Oso
We were about to pull off the heist of the century, man. The Miracle City Mint.
But, you said you wanted to change.
We lied. Dr. Chipotle Sr. advises you to DEAL with it.
[incredibly infuriated] DEAL WITH IT?! YOU SORRY, STINKING HALF-TIN MAN! YOU AIN'T GONNA ROB THE MINT ON MY WATCH!
SSSeñor Siniestro/Sergio
What do we got here, pardners?
El Oso
It's El Tigre and Puma Loco, man. Do you have any eyes or something?
Oso! Dr. Chipotle Sr. suggests you get rid of this hideous creature!
El Oso
Creature? He my twin brother, El Ossito! We exactly alike, man!
ETEl Tigre/Manny
Let's get to what we came for.
PLPuma Loco/Grandpapi
Yes! It's time… To sign up for the Supervillain Grand Prix!
Puma Loco, this illegal street race is for villains only!
PLPuma Loco/Grandpapi
Aren't you saying I am NO VILLAIN, VOLTURA?!
Not you, the boy! He more like a hero than a villain, lately.
ETEl Tigre/Manny
Me? Ha! Would a hero do this? [gives Dr. Chipotle Sr a wet willy]
SSSeñor Siniestro/Sergio
A wet willy?!
[The other villains all gasp]
Dr. Chipotle Sr. still feels that El Tigre should be DISQUALIFIED!
ETEl Tigre/Manny
But I gotta be in the race! Me and Grandpapi always do it together.
ETEl Tigre/Manny
This is nuts! I thought you quit superheroing because you couldn't handle the danger!
PPPlata Peligrosa/Maria
I couldn't handle how much I loved the danger. I was afraid it would become an obsession, but now I know that I am PERFECTLY IN CONTROL! [cackles in derangement]
El Oso
For a hero, she gots a good evil laugh, man.
ETEl Tigre/Manny
Mom, this has to stop!
PPPlata Peligrosa/Maria
You've been spending too much time with that evil Grandpapi of yours. Your father would never back down from a fight with villains!
ETEl Tigre/Manny
He also wouldn't have busted them out of jail.
PPPlata Peligrosa/Manny
You're… you're right, mijo. I've got it all wrong.
ETEl Tigre/Manny
I warned you to stay out of my way… And you're like one foot off the ground.
PLPuma Loco/Grandpapi
Yes, well, you're still very mean.
[claps slowly] See? He has chosen power over family. I told you he was a true villain.
ETEl Tigre/Manny
[confused] Django? What?
He is indeed worthy. El Tigre, join us. With you and Django by my side, we will rule the world!
ETEl Tigre/Manny
Huh? You said you were retiring!
Yes, but I… FIBBED! [cackles wickedly]
El Oso
It can't be!
Your plan worked perfectly, Django.
ETEl Tigre/Manny
Your plan?
Yes. I devised this tournament as a way to get all of grandmother's evil competition in one place and DESTROY THEM!
That is one complicated evil plan.
CCComrade Chaos
He truly is an artist.
El Oso
I would applaud if he weren't destroying me.
Wait, so that's real lava?
El Tigre: The Adventures of Manny Rivera · 255 quotes
