John quotes from Desperate Housewives

John

(to Carlos) Just so you know, you beat up the wrong guy. Didn't you think it was strange that your lawn was the only one that needed to be mowed three times a week?

Gabrielle

How was school?

John

I got an A minus in biology.

Gabrielle

Show me what you learned.

Gabrielle

Yeah, I've seen who you’ve been busy with.

John

Danielle? Come on, I mean, she's just a friend.

Gabrielle

Well, before you get any friendlier, let me remind you, I can do things to you she can't even pronounce.

John

Mrs. Van De Kamp.

Bree

Hello, John. I'm sorry to drop by on you, unannounced. Do you have a moment?

John

Sure. So, what can I do for you?

Bree

Well, I'll tell you. My daughter is planning on giving you her virginity and I would consider it a personal favor if you wouldn't take it.

John

What about me? Can't I be your plan B?

Gabrielle

Damn it, John. What is our new rule?

John

Stop pretending we have a future.

Gabrielle

Thank you.

Gabrielle

I feel trapped.

John

You want me to open a window?

Gabrielle

No, I'm talking about my life.

John

Oh. Are we done making out?

John

Why dont you return the shoes and get the money back?

Gabrielle

Return the shoes!?! I can't talk to you when you're being hysterical!