Yeah, crabs. I am buying Lindsay a chastity belt.
There's a hole in the middle to let the urine pass so theoretically she could still get them.
You are so creepy sometimes.
S7 E17Fallen Idols
RLRyan Lansco
[from video] Come on, guys. It's cold in here! At least close the door! [Reads] I, Ryan Lansco... am a diseased subhuman sex pervert. If you do me, you'll go home with a souvenir: your own little crab colony. [Angrily] My parents better never see this!
SLSheila Latham
Oh, yeah? This is going up on YouTube, or maybe you'd like to put it on your FriendAgenda page. You put everything else up there, why not your crotch rot?
What is this, Grissom? Romeo and Juliet.
Post-Mortem photography. Memento Mori. In the nineteenth century the photo of the dead loved one was a popular keepsake. Death remembered. One last look.
[with a razor in her hand] Do you trust me?
Intimately [she begins to shave off his beard]
S7 E18Empty Eyes
MWMary Wilson
Warrick Brown. I remember you standing on my steps with those guilty green eyes, afraid to come in because you knew your grandma would size you up no matter what kind of trouble you got into.
I don't remember any trouble.
MWMary Wilson
Like when you were thirteen years old, and you took her new Buick out for a spin.
Oh... that bang with the bumper trying to parallel park. I forgot about that.
S7 E19Big Shots
You know, if you're still having trouble coming to terms with the fact that this is no longer your lab, I suggest counseling.
I would like you to run this for me, please?
M'kay.
S7 E20Lab Rats
Four crime scene miniatures. Four murder victims. And one diabolical killer with an obsessive streak who still remains at large. I don't know if any of you have noticed how distracted Grissom's been lately, but it's these keeping him up at night.
You know the combination?
Of course. Grissom could use some fresh eyes on the case and that's why I've asked you here. Obviously, this could be perceived as insulting to the CSIs who formerly worked the case, so secrecy is of the utmost importance. Double down low.
[in a British accent] Oh James, it's Monnypenny. M needs you back at HQ.
Shoe phone was get smart, girl.
Oh, that's right.
Ninety-nine was so hot.
Yeah.
Four people are dead, the killer's still out there, and you're mocking?
We're mocking you.
You in or out?
I don't really know anything about these cases.
We'll review.
I don't know, I have a lot of work to do.
And by work, you mean IMing your Icelandic penpal who thinks that you look like Warrick Brown, because that's the picture you posted.
How?
I just know. Archie? In?
What the hell? But I gotta leave early. I've got a surfing trip in Santa Barbra this weekend.
Miss Mockery?
Well, we can't leave the lab. We can't talk to suspects. What exactly does Grissom want us to do?
It's not always what you look at that matters, it's what you see.
That's Thoreau.
Oh, is it?
Okay, professor, and your point would be?
The answers lie in these. We're lab techs. We think differently than field guys. They deal with people, we deal with things. Maybe we can't find the killer, but I think we can find the thing that links all four murders. This is an opportunity. We have one shift to show Grissom what we're made of. Tonight we could be heroes.
All right, all right. I'm in.
It's time to think outside the box.
[Archie is about to sit on Grissom's chair]
Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah...
What?
What are you doing?
Sitting.
No no, you're tempting fate! You know how you should never try on someone else's engagement ring, hold the Oscar, use the excuse your grandmother died when she didn't?
What on God's green earth possessed you to do this?
It's my lucky day.
What?
It's my lucky day...
S7 E21Ending Happy
So, when was the last time you saw the deceased?
It was like an hour ago when the, they took him away on the girder.
No, I, uh, you know I meant the last time you saw him alive.
To me, sex without love is pointless. It makes you sad.
Well, I'm pretty sure I don't make you sad.
No, you make me happy.
So the guy took an arrow through the throat and it prolonged his life?
Apparently.
And what are the odds of it not hitting any major artery?
Whatever comes right before zero.
You know, I kind of feel bad for these girls.
Don't feel too bad. They have health benefits, good pay. Women get regular check-ups. Industry is well-regulated. As opposed to picking a hooker up off the street. Does she have a disease? Multiple diseases? Is she crazy? Is she gonna roll you? Where do you go? Do you do it in your car, behind a building, down a dark alley? So you drive around, scared out of your mind, finally get the nerve up, pick one you like, call her over, she gets in. Next thing you know, you're down on the pavement, cuffed, because she's an undercover cop, but luckily you were three months shy of your eighteenth birthday so when you call your mom to come get you, it doesn't go on my permanent record.
[momentarily speechless] ... Okay.
S7 E22Leapin' Lizards
Do you believe that intelligent life exists on other planets?
I'm not sure there's intelligent life on this planet.
PPreston
Chyna was sucking the life out of me. She deserved none of what she wanted and all of what she got in the end. I'm glad it took a long time for her to die. I can only imagine the pain.
You know, everytime I think about leaving this job, a guy like you comes along and reminds me why I can't.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's CSI: Crime Scene Investigation pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.