TV show quotes
Greg (to Mia): So would you like to grab a bite later? I know a diner down the street that serves a mean liver and onions.
I don't eat out.
Never ever?
I don't like expectorant.
Really?
Kitchen staff talk while they prepare your food and then the wait staff repeats your order over the plate, and by the time you get your meal, there are several DNA samples coating it.
Wow.
Yeah. No, thank you. I don't eat birthday cake either.
Oh, blowing out the candles.
Ugh. Don't get me started.
Mia Dickerson, Warrick Brown.
Welcome.
Look, I already know you have a running bet with another CSI over how long the new hire lasts, so let's skip it. You got something for DNA?
Warrick (to Nick): How'd you shoot, man?
Rusty. They say I have a flinch.
You and I need to go practice some, huh?
Yeah, when do we have time to do that? If we're not processing a scene or working evidence, we're in court.
Well, when they take your piece, you'll make time.
Did you injure yourself, Mrs. Perez? (Mrs. Perez looks down at a bloodstain on her shirt)
Oh, a nosebleed.
That's a lot of blood. I'm going to need to take your shirt.
Why?
If you like, I can have someone follow you home so that you can change.
You think we had something to do with it? Our daughter is missing. She's out there somewhere alone and scared. What are you doing about that?
I'm just collecting evidence.
Fine. Here! (she removes her shirt and throws it at Grissom) Take it! Go find her!
[to Brass as he carries a box of drinks] Look, dude, I didn't see it.[puts the box down on the side] Chica had a nice, round ass and that's what I was scoping.
What time was that?
About 3:00. She comes in, grabs some candy, looks outside, waves at somebody. The next thing I know, she flips her wig. She's screaming about her sister. I didn't see the girl or a car. Besides, there's a lot of traffic out there.
Was it busy?
Kind of.
How many surveillance cameras do you have in here?
Inside we got five. They're all state-of-the-art. Place gets hit a lot. Outside they're all dummies.
Well, I'm glad to see you're so concerned about your customers after they leave the store.
Grissom (to Doc Robbins): Alicia's cause of death?
Cardiopulmonary arrest.
Time of death?
That's a little trickier. No solids in the stomach contents, just a milky liquid. Liver mortis was fixed and deep purple with a vitreous humor potassium level of 20 millimoles per liter with faint putrefaction. So, I'd say she's been dead about... 44 hours between midnight and 8:00 A.M., the day of her kidnapping.
Which means April Perez was lying about the abduction.
Yep. Story's got more holes than her sister's bones.
[to April Perez] I bought it the hell we all bought it. But your sister was already dead when you raised that alarm. Her body told us that. There was no sexual assault. The evidence told us that, too. So you didn't think this through, sweetheart. So what are we left with? A false police report and a murdered little girl. So it's one to four for the Amber Alert. And for your sister, life imprisonment if it's an accident, and the needle if it's not.
I didn't kill Alicia.
But you know, I get it. I get the picture. I mean, your brother's the center of attention. He's sick, he's dying. Your cells don't match. Your parents have Alicia. She's his savior. So, where do you fit in? What are you to this family?
I'm invisible.
But not anymore you're not. She's dead, and your brother's sick. When he goes...
That's crazy, okay. I told you, I didn't kill my sister.
I want to believe that. Come on. Help me to believe that. It just means you were in on it because you put on one hell of a show. You still using?
No.
Maybe we should run your blood just to be sure, huh?
I use now and then to take the edge off.
So how do you pay for this habit? Are you pimping your sister for drugs, April?
Why don't you make up your mind? No signs of rape. If I was selling my sister, there would be, wouldn't there?
Depends on who you sold it to. You're not gonna talk your way out of this one. You need to get clean.
What I need is a lawyer, which means this conversation is over.
[to Catherine about Alicia] You have no idea what it's like.
I saw her medical records. I looked at her x-rays. I know what that little girl suffered, what you put her through.
So you would let your child die and do nothing. Never. No, you'd talk to doctors and research. And then you'd find out that the National Bone Marrow Registry can't help you 'cause your son is mixed race. And even if he wasn't, there aren't enough donors. Out of four million, only 205,000 are Latino. I did what I had to do.
You put one child over another.
[scoffs] I don't expect you to understand. You don't have kids.
Uh, I have a daughter.
So, what kind of mother are you? When do you see her? You work nights. You probably don't even know where she half the time. Alicia's life may not have been simple, but at least I knew her. Can you say the same?
[sees two pill bottles] Daniel Perez is taking oxycodone for pain, and Alicia was on diazepam.
Diazepam? That's a pretty hard-core antidepressant for a kid that small.
I guess they didn't want her complaining while they were mining her body for healthy cells.
[to Carlos Perez] Wasn't Alicia part of your family? You're her father, you dumb bastard! You're supposed to protect her. What kind of man are you?
Guilty.
I found ten cc's of urine in her stomach. Digestive system is intact and I found no bruises or abrasions in her mouth. So there's only one way it could've gotten there.
Chug-a-lug.
Nine vibrators, five plugs and four strands of beads.
And a partidge in a pear tree. Some kids are happy playing in the sandbox, others want every toy in the store. And apparently these are dishwasher safe.
I'll swab the nooks and crannies for semen and vaginal secretions and epthelials, but don't get your hopes up.
Oh, my money's on bag number two.
Twenty-six used condoms.
Just like being back in college, right?
Sara said you didn't lose your virginity until you were twenty-two.
Greg [Ignoring her]: Grissom and I figured that they practiced safe sex so we checked their trash. Check them inside and out, please.
I've analyzed condoms before, Greg. Just not in bulk.
(to Greg) Good thing you didn't need to take a spelling test to work the field, funtain water!
My people are Norwegian, that's how we spell it.
(sighs)
So was the funtain water in her lungs?
Griss, this place is crawling with press. They want a statement.
Not now.
Well, if you don't say anything, they're just going to fill in the blanks...
Screw the press, 'cause for all I know, the dead body is an auto mechanic who just painted his house blue.
(to Greg) What's with the tape?
The evidence wasn't co-operating so I stuck it to 'em.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's CSI: Crime Scene Investigation pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
