TV show quotes
I thought you were going to process the scene with Grissom.
I was. He said he had it covered. Sofia Curtis is up there with him.
Right... Ecklie's right hand.
Hmm?
Ever do a case with her?
Uh-uh. Hey, I heard Grissom stuck you with his speech.
A napkin is not a speech.
[Catherine comes in to talk to Greg, who's been reviewing video surveillance tapes for about 8 hours]
Tell me something.
I think my eyes need band-aids.
What are you doing?
I'm going insane, I don't understand this diagram!
(sighs) You don't need a diagram, you need a woman. (Ties Grissom's bow tie) Looking forward to your speech.
I thought you'd want to know what happened to Wendy.
I appreciate your telling me. Killed by someone in our own community. As if we don't have enough enemies. Her parents never understood her, but still I think they should know. What do I say?
Show them an oyster.
I'm sorry?
There are two types of male oysters, and one of them can change genders at will. And before man crawled out of the muck, maybe he had the same option. Maybe originally we were supposed to be able to switch genders, and being born with just one sex... is a mutation.
I've never seen junkies shoot up in the face before.
It's not smack, it's silicone. Gives you good cheek bones.
The ones who can't buy silicone... shoot motor oil.
Do they?
Calm down, pretty boy. We're not the monsters. The real freaks are the suit-and-ties want to take a walk on the wild side, before sneaking back to the wife and kids. Want to go?
Nick (shakes his head): Mm-mm.
Lepidro. What kind of name is that?
It's from Lepidoptera, meaning "butterfly." Walter Clancy started out a gender-dysmorphic caterpillar and turned into a bloody butterfly.
Love hurts.
Hey, I uh talked to the manager. All he said was the renter paid cash and the guy; he seemed pretty normal.
Normal people don't torture people in storage bins.
Did you see any transexuals when you danced?
Gil, only civilians confuse strippers and showgirls. You can't cheat the full monty.
Women in convertibles are low-hanging fruit.
And it was a top-down night.
Piano wires. They're used to mobilize the lower part of the abdominal skin and anchor the neo-vagina, so it can heal in place.
I can only imagine those cramps.
The surgeon stuffs the portal with a cylinder wrapped in gauze to hold its shape while it heals, and sutures it.
And how long does milady have to wear a wire?
Well, after five days, the vagina is un-sutured, and the wires are removed.
Aborigines say they dance naked to make the gods happy.
The gods would be happy in Vegas.
(to Grissom) I'm glad you agreed to meet me, can I buy you a drink?
Thanks, but I'm still on the clock.
But you still let me lure you away from the lab. Is that because I'm a beautiful woman? Well, I'm a beautiful woman now.
Beauty's a societal construction.
So is gender, people find out you're empty half and they think you're psycho, Michael Caine with a bad wig and a pair of sunglasses stabbing Angie Dickinson and dressed to kill.
Are you doing all this for the sake of the lab or to indict Grissom?
Catherine, there a number of talented CSIs, like yourself, who have put in to be supervisors. I just want to make sure the right people are in the right place.
About my request, I really would like to supervise days.
Right. You're a single mother. Better hours. And I bet you could use the extra cash.
No, this promotion isn't about money.
Must be nice to be independently wealthy.
We're done here, right?
Yeah.
Taking your pet for a walk?
I know how much you like my little fetal pig, so I'm giving him to you as an office-warming gift.
That is so thoughtful. Now tell me why you really stopped by. You checking up on me?
No.
What've you heard? Who talked to you?
See? You've only been on the job a week and you're already paranoid.
[laughs] When I was your right hand and your left, I always knew if it hit the fan, you'd be the one to get dirty.
Hey, that's the job.
Yeah, that's the job. Did you ever play politics?
I once ran for president of science club in junior high. Mary Hardy beat me out by one vote.
I'm going to guess that you didn't vote for yourself.
I'm not any good at politics. It cost me, that's how I lost Nick and Warrick.
Your loss, my gain.
Yeah, and at least I know that they're in good hands.
(to Greg after a shooting at the crime scene) You okay?
No, I'm not okay! Who the hell's shooting at us?
I don't know, but I think our single just turned into a triple.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's CSI: Crime Scene Investigation pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
