A character in Corner Gas
Played by Lorne Cardinal
Corner Gas · 223 quotes
8th most-quoted character in Corner Gas: in 32 of its 223 quotes
Most scenes with: Karen (16), Oscar (8), Wanda (4)
DavisFear is natural. It's what makes us human. It's what separates us from the animals.
That, and opposable thumbs. And pants.
Rollerblading.
Any kind of bipedal locomotion.
We can make fire. Animals can't make fire.
Well, if you don't count dragons.
Actually, there's a lot that separates us from animals.
DavisYou had me at pants.
Seriously, you guys, a joke's a joke, but I want my hacky-sack back.
DavisWe don't know where it is.
Okay... I guess uhh...I'll go look for it in...the Ruby! Am I getting warmer?
You're getting weirder.
DavisGet her!
Yeah! Get her!
Oh, have a heart!
That's "hurry hard".
You can't just leave me here! It's like 10 miles to town!
DavisIt's your house, you'll live.
All I have to eat here are pickles and Pop Rocks!
DavisYou'll probably live.
[Davis holds up a piece of wood and shows Wes.]
DavisI'll give you this if you get rid of the ATM.
You're bribing me with a piece of wood?
DavisIt's not just a piece of wood, I've got a whole pile of wood. It's yours.
DavisA rooster lays an egg on a roof; which side does it roll down?
The Alberta side! No wait, trick question, the roof is flat.
DavisNope. It's a slanted roof.
He he.... the egg is square!
[Karen and Davis look at each other stunned.]
No?
Back in the '70s, I wrote a tune called Mona the Monkey. Next thing you know, I turn on the radio and there's Earl the Squirrel.
That's not exactly what we in the police business call "hard evidence".
DavisIt's not even soft evidence.
Mona the Monkey? Earl the Squirrel?
Casper the Ghost. Dennis the Menace.
Tony the Tiger.
DavisWinnie the Pooh.
Soup of the Day.
You're all smart. Maybe Tony the Pooh doesn't know when he's being ripped off, ever think about that?
Maybe just a half cup for you today.
I don't know why we can't hire somebody to fix the roof.
I can do it myself. It's just a roof, not rocket surgery.
Well at least get somebody to help who knows what he's doing, instead of dorkus (referring to Davis).
Davis[wearing kneepads on his hands] Hey these kneepads are like hats for little elves.
When you fall off the roof, try not to land on anything important
Yeesh, would you call that tacky or icky.
DavisIt's just plain ugly.
DavisAward of Excellence? They don't have that in the Olympics.
Oh believe me, I tried.
[Davis is bugging Oscar about the hole in his muffler.]
A porcupine died for that hole, buddy boy!
DavisDon't make this about the porcupine!
DavisWhen have you ever cut my hair?
You take a lot of naps.
Davis is doing hard time, it's no walk in the park.
Okay goose-down comforter, hypo-allergenic pillow, earl grey tea-
DavisNo chamomile?
They were out.
DavisThis is gonna be hell.
DavisDo you have to have your top button done up when you talk to him?
What are you saying?
DavisI'm just sayin' would it kill ya to flirt with him?
Um, yeah!
DavisWanda is a scared! Wanda is a scared!
Walter has a beard! Walter Has a beard!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Corner Gas pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
