LaceyYeah, Brent. Why don't you look Fitzy's grandma in the eye and give her one good reason this town can't build a great big dirty hoe.
Played by Gabrielle Miller
Corner Gas · 223 quotes
6th most-quoted character in Corner Gas: in 37 of its 223 quotes
Most scenes with: Brent (17), Hank (10), Wanda (9)
Lines by Lacey 3
LaceyLacey[attempting to say "Hurry Hard"] Have a heart! Have a heart!
LaceyWhy do people who like to do things make people who don't like to do things do things?
Scenes with Lacey 34
LaceyI mean, come on, a boycott? Look, I'm not clubbing baby seals and I'm not using Honduran children to make sneakers.
You could be clubbing baby seals with Honduran children; I don't care about that!
No fear. You know where I read that?
LaceyWhere?
On the T-shirt of a kid working down at the co-op. He didn't let fear stand in his way. He stood there bravely bagging onions.
LaceyIf I start a Pilates class, will you join?
That depends.
LaceyOn what?
On what is Pilates?
LaceyOh okay. Pilates is a method of unifying your mind and body...
You lost me.
LaceyOh, come on Brent. Don't you wanna unify your mind and body?
No, I'm not gonna put all my eggs in one basket!
Hurts, don't it?
LaceyWhy do they make cars out of metal? They should know that there’s a certain percentage of children that are evil.
WWes
World's biggest gopher.
No, Stumpwood already has the world's biggest gopher.
LaceyWell how big is it?
I don't know exactly, but its head's made of a Volkswagen.
LaceyThat's a big gopher.
Jeez, Dad, did you mix this in a skidoo boot or a crowsnest?
Ya sissy. It's like a Belgian beer
CCarl
Not the Belgium I've been to.
I suppose you've been to the good Belgium?
Brent!
LaceyYou know what, I-I can't, I'm driving.
Honest to God, Dad, it tastes like you beat a skunk to death with a salmon.
LaceyKaren, I'm glad you're here. Look, we need to talk about the book club.
I thought the first rule of book club was you don't talk about book club.
LaceyThat's Fight Club.
What do you know about Fight Club?
LaceyRight now we're reading Life of Pi.
Oh, a detective novel.
LLacy
What?
You know, PI. Private investigator.
The sign! I just saw the sign!
LaceyWhat kind of sign? The sign of the times?
The first sign of trouble?
LaceyThe sign of the apocalypse?
No, and for the record, if I do see a sign of the apocalypse, I will say "The Sign is Nigh."
SSign
Come for the oil change, stay for the grease
Hey, what do you think of my new slogan?
LaceyI'm changing the sign.
Come on, it's a joke! People like that kind of thing. Plus, I was careful to choose a slogan where the letters couldn't be rearranged to spell anything embarrassing.
What slogan?
"Come for the oil change, stay for the grease."
"Choose Glenn Frey for a ménage à trois."
Don't bother checking it, it's right. Another option would be: "My thighs are hot for goat felons."
They're frightened and confused by the weird newness.
LaceyThey're ranklin' at the weird newness.
LaceyPhobias are irrational, they don't have to make sense. Don't you guys have any?
Fears? Not really. I mean, just the standard stuff, you know. Pirates, vampires, Sasquatch, intimacy, commitment.
LaceyWhat about you?
None come to mind. Being intimate with a Sasquatch.
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