Fitzy quotes from Corner Gas

My plan to promote Dog River is working. An American tourist came here accidentally.

I guess my strategy of no one running against me, is working.

You know, of all the ideas I've heard; yours is the first. Let's do it.

Wanda

What's four times five?

19.

Oscar

21.

19.

Oscar

21.

19.

What's going on?

Wanda

I asked them what four times five is.

Isn't that 20?

Yeah, Fitzy's right.

Oscar

21.

19.

20.

3 and a half people! That's all you counted? You're both fired.

Oscar

You don't know how it goes down on the street. You sit here behind your desk.

I don't have a desk! It's a door on two filing cabinets!

Oscar

Oh, well you should have one, you're the mayor.

Wanda

[talking about the bowl to Emma] I paid fifty bucks for it on Ebay!

Emma

Fifty bucks, is that all?

Yeah, I mean for an enchanted bowl that's a bargain!

Your meatloaf's good, but I wanted a cheeseburger. Actually, I heard there was sashimi but it's not on the menu.

Karen

I can do sashimi.

Lacey

Can I get you anything else?

Do you have sashimi?

Lacey

Eat your meatloaf.

I just saw some kids who said Safety Pete was hilarious.

Karen

Yeah but you have to remember, kids are stupid.

Wanda

And here you go.

Wanda

Prepare to be blown away by the aural journey.

I thought Karen was the smut reader.