For God's sake. Are you still going on about your stupid vegetable?
It's not my vegetable, Norm. It belongs to the whole world.
Aren't you vegetable enough for the world?
S7 E19The Gift of the Woodi
S7 E20Call Me, Irresponsible
Isn't Eddie sweet? Why can't more men send flowers?
I didn't know Mormons couldn't send flowers.
I said "more men", not Mormon.
I know they can't dance.
No Sam, that's the Amish.
Then why can't Mormons send flowers?
They can!! I just wish someone would send me some damn flowers!
So why does it have to be a Mormon?
Oh! [walks away]
Some people you just can't discuss religion with.
What's goin' on, Mr. Peterson?
The flashing side of my gut that says "insert beer here."
S7 E21Sisterly Love
At this very moment, Rebecca Howe is in her house spending two hours getting into an outfit she's gonna spend two minutes getting out of.
What are you going to do about that sister?
Oh, I already made a phone call to postpone our date.
You gonna take her out tomorrow night?
No, take her out in a couple of hours.
Carla, you hate your sister, don't you?
Sure, why?
What would I have to do to get the two of you back together again?
Simple, Sam. Ask me to come down and identify her body.
S7 E22The Visiting Lecher
Why didn't you just bring Valerie with you?
LLawrence
Well you know she hates to travel. Besides we decided this was a perfect opportunity to test my theories about martial fidelity. And I'm glad to say that after 10 months of celibacy, I can how pronounce my principles sound.
After 10 months of celibacy I couldn't even pronounce my name.
Your husband came onto me at a local bar.
VValerie
Do you mean he propositioned you?
Well he didn't exactly proposition me.
VValerie
Well what exactly did he do?
He asked me about my feelings.
VValerie
That is his field you know.
That isn't all he did. He rubbed my leg with his disgusting foot.
[to maid] She never gets tired of telling this part.
S8 E1The Improbable Dream: Part 1
You know it's quite remarkable. To float something as heavy as a wedge of lime, beer must have quite a high buoyancy factor.
So do your loafers.
Call me old-fashioned Cliff, but the only thing I like floating in my beer is my liver.
Oh Frasier, Lilith excuse me. I know you're probably on your way somewhere.
Yes, we are.
But when aren't we?
It's just that I have this really bad problem. It's getting so bad that I can't even sleep at night.
Well I'm sorry Rebecca, we do have this important lunch.
You see I've been having these erotic dreams.
Well lunch be damned! Our friend is in need.
S8 E2The Improbable Dream: Part 2
Perhaps your dreams are trying to tell you about something too frightening for your waking mind.
Like what?
Like you care. You care about Rebecca.
Oh come on, Frasier. You know me. How can I care about her? We haven't done the main thing that I care about.
Forgive me, Sam. I forgot about your high moral standards.
You mean to say, you can't care about a woman unless you sleep with her first?
Well, yeah.
[about Rebecca] It doesn't seem fair, does it? I spent three years loosening the cap on that peanut butter jar and right now she's stickin' to the roof of somebody else's mouth.
S8 E3A Bar Is Born
Hey Rebecca, can I work the next shift? I need the overtime.
Sam look, I know what you're trying to do here but forget it. It's going to take you the rest of your life to save enough money to buy Cheers.
Hey if Sam says he can do it, he can do it. We have faith in you Sam. Cheers is gonna be yours. I just hope I'm still alive to see it.
Women. You can't live with them...pass the beer nuts.
S8 E4How to Marry a Mailman
Emotional crises can affect our sensory perceptions. Devastating. I've read volumes on hysterical blindness, loss of hearing, even total loss of speech.
Clavin had to pick blindness.
Carla, you're not helping.
I'm not trying.
MMargaret
The men up in Canada well they just don't compare to you. They're just pale pathetic imitations of you, Cliff.
Boy that must be one butt ugly country.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Cheers pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.