Brad quotes from Boston Legal

Shirley

White roses, gold leaf cake, Bev's boobs swimming out of her wedding dress.

Who said money can't buy tastelessness?

Alan

I think Bev and Denny did a lovely job.

Paul

11 marriages between the two of them. They've had plenty of practice.

Okay. We're required to turn this over to Ms. Beller and, per the rules of discovery, we'll provide it with the other one hundred thousand pages of documents that pertain to their production request.

So you're going to bury it.

No, that would be unethical. We'll simply comply… fully.

I was wondering if I could join you and Denny on the balcony sometime. Just trying to diversify my life with some male bonding and I was wondering...you know.

Alan

Brad, any gathering of three or more men always seems like a team to me, and I've never been much of a team player, so if you're going to show count me out. [pauses] Was there something specific you'd like to talk about?

Are you a good kisser?

Marlene

Brad, did you hear? Denise is getting married.

[to Denise] Really?

I was going to tell you.

Marlene

Sometimes it's easier to hear it from a third party.

Marlene

[emotionless] That could've hit me.

Bethany

He baited me deliberately.

He did this because the book on you is your less effective when you lose your cool.

Bethany

Oh, shut up.

This is exactly the state of mind that he wants you in.

Bethany

It was an offer made in bad faith. I should bring a motion for sanctions.

That wouldn't make any difference.

Bethany

Shut up.

Shut up yourself.

[to Denny] She okay? She's panting like a dog.

Bethany

[angrily] I heard that!

Jeffrey

Bit of a weak stream you got going there. Get your prostate checked?

What did you say to me?

Jeffrey

Never mind.

So what? You're gonna make fun of my flow now?

Jeffrey

I'm sorry. It just seems a little lackluster. I would think a Marine would be a little more 'Hup To'. You gonna hit me, Brad?

Oh, you'd just love that, wouldn't you? For me to sink to your level.

Jeffrey

I suppose we better work this out.

Does it have to be now?

Jeffrey

Well, it is the season. Peace on Earth...love for your fellow man...

Wait. What was that?

Jeffrey

"Love for your fellow man"?

No, before that.

Jeffrey

"Peace on Earth"?

Liberal. I knew it!

Jeffrey

Guess we should work this out.

Does it have to be tonight?

Jeffrey

Well, it is the season. 'Peace on Earth, good will toward men'...

What was that?

Jeffrey

"Good will toward men"?

No, right before that.

Jeffrey

"Peace on Earth"?

I knew it. Liberal.

This is so high school.

Paul

As opposed to you and Jeffrey slugging it out in the men's room?

I won.

Jeffrey

Did not!

Paul

Shut up!

Could I get you to put your tongue back in your mouth there, soldier?

Alan

Thank goodness we have you, Brad, to keep track of our tongues. Would you like a list of the places mine has been this week?

Perv.