Boston Legal · Season 3, Episode 8
“Lincoln” · Season 3, Episode 8
In this episode: Denny Crane (11), Alan Shore (11), Denise (5), Shirley (4), Jeffrey (4), Bethany (3), Jerry (2), Lincoln (2)
Are you okay?
It's just that ever since Daniel died, I... All I can think about is...
Yeah.
Sex. [Shirley looks startled] I walk down the street anything I pass in pants...I wanna have sex!
Oh.
I'm not kidding, Shirley. I wanna screw anybody and everybody. Denny Crane is looking good to me right now.
I must admit that the idea of a mother-daughter ménage à twaddle.
I think you mean trois.
Denny. Seen Shirley?
Why?
She was gonna meet me.
Why?
We had some business to discuss.
What sort of business?
The kind that wasn't yours, actually.
I told Alan, I'm telling you. Stay away from Shirley.
She loved me.
Well, you made her laugh.
I'm funny.
Are you telling me this handwritten will is valid?
Completely. It turns out Ms. Winger is also a lawyer.
The plot thickens.
When you came here I made one request, Jeffrey. One simple request, "Don't step on toes." Silly me for not adding, "Don't punch jaws."
Bit of a weak stream you got going there. Get your prostate checked?
What did you say to me?
Never mind.
So what? You're gonna make fun of my flow now?
I'm sorry. It just seems a little lackluster. I would think a Marine would be a little more 'Hup To'. You gonna hit me, Brad?
Oh, you'd just love that, wouldn't you? For me to sink to your level.
[to Claire] You said I'd like him. He's an attention-starved wacko fairy. He couldn't kill anyone.
I heard that! I'm getting tired of you, Large Marge. You remind me of Mr. Dirty Mouth. That's what you do.
Excuse me. [drags Alan away] I just wanted to tell you that what you said to me last night was truly...disgusting.
Hm. And I assure you, Denise, I'm a man of my word.
Denise, you've always struck me as a woman who secretly longs to be debased. It's an awfully big job. But I feel I'm just the man to... do it.
Don't stop. I'm curious to see just how low you'll go.
All the way down. Again. And again. I see the filthy, naughty girl deep inside you, Denise, longing to get out. Now, if you're so unwilling to let her out, perhaps I should go in after her. I brought my snorkel.
What's the infield fly rule?
I haven't the slightest. Does it involve a zipper?
[to Claire] I bet he's more familiar with a zipper than he is with baseball.
[deadpan] Really?
Denise, I couldn't help but overhear your conversation with Shirley. I happen to know sometimes grief can trigger the libido. It's got something to do with death causing a biological need to propagate the species. Evidently after 9-11, people were running around like rabbits.
Really? I did not know that.
If I could ever be of service...to help you cope.
Well. Shall we pick up where we left off, my little friend?
Forget it.
Why?
Because one of the rules I try to follow in my social life is, 'don't date guys who slept with my mother.'
Erica, before I pick up the phone, is there anything else I need to know?
Like?
Anything that could be construed as relevant.
Well. We were lovers.
[Jerry squeals]
That would be relevant.
My client proceeded to go hiking without her and returned, there was her friend hanging around the house. And when I say hanging, Alan, I mean like a pinata.
The midget I'm dating could be my daughter.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Boston Legal pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
