[After Alan loses the wrestling match to Denny]
Five seconds?
He cheated. You can't squat on the head.
Five seconds?
Four, actually.
“Fine Young Cannibal” · Season 3, Episode 4
In this episode: Alan Shore (11), Denny Crane (8), Bethany (4), Shirley (3), Brad (2), Frank (2), Paul (1)
[Before their wrestling match]
Shouldn't we pee in a cup first? I don't trust his testosterone levels.
Mine's naturally high.
My friend, one of my goals in life is to go to all the places you've gone.
Just don't go to Shirley. She's mine.
If I should ever like to drive your car...
I toss you my keys.
If I should ever need any money...
My check is blank.
Or need to pick your brain...
My mind is blank.
Anything you have, or once did have, is there for me.
Except for Shirley. Keep your root away from Shirley.
Denny, I... Why do you have clothes pins on your ears?
Personal.
Admit it Shirley, you're drawn to me like Eve to the Serpent. Take me home and help me stretch my coil.
Has that line actually worked?
It's working now.
He baited me deliberately.
BBrad
He did this because the book on you is your less effective when you lose your cool.
Oh, shut up.
BBrad
This is exactly the state of mind that he wants you in.
It was an offer made in bad faith. I should bring a motion for sanctions.
BBrad
That wouldn't make any difference.
Shut up.
BBrad
Shut up yourself.
No deal. He goes to jail. And tell your boy, between now and trial, he'd better not eat anyone else.
Tell me, Mr. Vote-For-Me-Come-November, what if you lose this trial? Did that ever occur to you?
Funny. It didn't.
Perhaps it should.
I would love to see how you can open this one... Shirley.
Knowing you, you'd probably plan to get up in the end and deliver some stirring closing like cannibalism is good, the world needs more people devouring each other.
No, we already have enough of that.
[Bethany is nervous and breathing hard]
BBrad
[to Denny] She okay? She's panting like a dog.
[angrily] I heard that!
[Discussing a case concerning cannibals]
Because this case is disgusting, it's distasteful, it's repugnant...
Everything I stand for.
I'll drive.
Shirley, is this about getting in a room with me?
[sarcastically] Yes, Alan, I went out and recruited a cannibal just to get close to you.
[Bethany is pinching Denny's ear]
It's sexual this ear pinch.
Yes. Pinching the ear gives you blood flow. When's the last time you got that without taking a pill?
[To Paul] What? You've never seen a smoking dwarf before?
[About Gracie Jane]
Denny, you have got to gag this woman.
I would love to.
Primetime wants you on during sweeps. They want you to eat Diane Sawyer.
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