A character in Bones
5th most-quoted character in Bones: in 206 of its 1,470 quotes
Most scenes with: Temperance Brennan (75), Jack Hodgins (74), Angela Montenegro (43)
[Irritated without Jordanian accent] I am a scientist! Okay? Just like the rest of you. I can deal! So please just back off and let me do my job!
Wow.
[With Jordian accent] I apologize for my outburst.
Cam': Oh, you aren't even going to try to unring that bell are you?
[as he's leaving] I have to pray.
There's a guy on my street who cut his lawn on the diagonal. The neighbors got angry, someone set his garage on fire.
Well, I mean yards, sidewalks, you know, clean streets, birds flying by...
Dead body in the barbecue pit.
Oh, okay. You know what, I'm going to go talk to the neighbors, see if anyone who cut their lawn diagonally is missing.
Whoa-whoa-whoa, wait a second. You and Parker discussed my sex life?
Well, we discussed your lack of sex life.
Angela, neither you nor him, especially him, knows anything about my sex life.
Well, he knows that daddy ain't getting any, and he's concerned. He thinks you need a girlfriend... to have sex.
He said that?
Well, his exact words were, "To sex up." I think you need to talk to him honestly about your love life.
You kidding me? No offense, but I'm not talking about...
[Cam enters]
Hey...
What?
Want to run our friendly neighborhood suburbanites through the National Gun Permit Database, see if any of them own a .44? Hodgins found that in the pit. [She hands Booth the bagged bullet]
Hi, Dr. Saroyan. Do you have a boyfriend?
See? This is exactly how it started with me.
[Cam looks puzzled and amused]
[Walking to Parker] Come on. Let's go. Come on. I gotta get you back home, or your mom's gonna kill me, all right? [They turn to leave – he looks at Parker's painted face] Let me see this stuff. [To Angela] Does this stuff come off?
Oh, seriously. That's your big worry right now?
What are you doing here, Sweets?
He's Daisy's trainer. If she attacks, he can put her down.
Dr. Saroyan, I'm having some serious problems with Daisy. Can I ask your advice?
No.
No, really.
Really. I have a sixteen year old, and believe me, when it comes to dating advice, I am batting a red hot zero.
But you've been through this like a million times yourself!
Did you just call me old?
When I was in Rio, some kid graffitied a mummy in the National Museum. Next day, choked on his own tongue.
[stunned] Seriously?
Death shall come on swift wings to he who disturbs the peace of the mummy.
I guess I'd be angry too if someone pulled my brain out through my nose and stuck it in a canopic jar.
Fishing is not a sport!
What? Monuments to sporting events in ancient Egypt include fishing, as well as swimming and wrestling.
Come on! No sweat, no sport!
Well -- oh! Boris Spassky at chess. He used to perspire profusely.
Why do you got to make things so complicated? Let me break it down for you, okay? Basketball, football, hockey: that's a sport. Board games, fishing: not a sport!
You'll probably go easy on the fried food after this one.
Well, the International Olympic Committee is considering adding chess as a sport.
Not a sport.
See! Not a sport!
Neither is ribbon twirling, bridge or synchronized swimming.
Synchronized swimming, that's not a sport, that's for sure.
Oh, God. I'm in the middle of something, aren't I? Oh, look! Dead guy!
Yeah, look at that. The Colonel's not going to like this one.
Male, no sign of clothing, all other stats still unknown. He was found at the bottom of this grease receptical by those lovely gentleman over there.
The remains are covered in flesh. Why am I here?
I don't know. I told Booth. Oh, God. In the middle again!
He was beaten and stabbed. Somebody really went after this guy.
Those injuries didn't kill him. There's grease in all levels of the bronchi, which means our victim was alive when he was tossed into the vat. Cause of death is drowning and cooking, or vice versa.
Saturated fats; they're a killer.
I have to remove your clothing now.
Why?
Well, there may be particulates.
Particulates.
Evidence for Hodgins and flesh for Cam.
You know, the bomber said something about answering the call. What do you think that means?
Many terrorists think they're acting upon divine instruction.
I don't think he was a terrorist. I just think he was a bank robber.
There's spatter on the back of your collar.
Spatter?
Okay.
I can take my own shirt off.
No, don't! You'll compromise the evidence.
Right.
I'm having Christmas dinner at my place this year with my dad. Considering you've been shunted aside by your own family, I'd like to invite you.
That's a sweet invitation.
So, will you come?
I don't know. I was thinking about going up to Quebec to see Parker. I don't really care what Rebecca thinks.
If you do that won't she retaliate by insisting upon coming to all your special times with Parker?
Yeah.
You have a perfect acromion. Stand up.
Whoa! Is there stuff on my pants?
Vascular tissue on your cocky belt buckle.
All right. Slides right off. And now we're done.
Nope. I have to remove your pants.
All right, you know, I'm just going to start reciting some saints. St. Joseph, St. Peter, St. Paul, St. John --
[Cam walks in]
[Sees what's going on] Anyone for mistletoe?
I'm recovering evidence.
Just evidence! That's all!
Clear out, Sweets. We have to identify our Christmas in December bomber.
Bye, Lancelot! Colon, end bracket, colon, capital D!
Semi-colon, end parenthesis, less than sign, numeral 3!!
Colon, capital P!
Oh, dear God. I'm going to yak.
Her skeletal robusticity and large areas of muscle attachment suggest extremely good health.
A couple of weeks in the desert and no critters got at these remains?
Perhaps there was a lot of green radiation from alien hyperdrive systems? [Cam and Brennan look at him strangely] Or something not crazy.
The man who found them remarked that he saw several set of orange eyes staring at him from the darkness.
Orange eyeballed aliens?
Tapetum lucidum of the American coyote glows orange when light strikes the retina. What he saw were likely coyotes, not orange eyeballed aliens. Oh, you're being facetious. That was funny.
Strange question, I know, but I've gotta ask. [pulls EPT test from behind her back] Are you, by any chance, pregnant?
No, I haven't had sexual intercourse in quite some time.
Do you want to know why I'm asking?
You're holding a home pregnancy test. I assume it's positive and you're worried about losing the most important person in this lab.
No. Very modest. I'm asking because Michelle was here earlier this afternoon and the only other two people who you use that bathroom, beside me, are you and Angela.
Well, Angela is currently sexually active.
Very true.
With Wendell!
Very, very active!
And even if they use condoms, Wendell is young! His sperm is likely to be extremely motile.
You are so cheering me up right now.
Bone graft. It looks like a repair to a screw hole.
Huh. I count three metal plates.
Indicating multiple corrective surgeries.
Which could help us positively identify these remains.
Mr. White told us to regard identification as a zero priority.
I'm not as good as you are at doing as I'm told.
[smiles] Thank you!
You two don't understand. Booth is a very patriotic man. He really believes this is the greatest country ever.
Being the best doesn't mean being perfect.
It's naive to think that a country the size and influence doesn't pursue secret agendas.
Kennedy's assassination wasn't a secret agenda, it was a black stain. A dark moment in history. Do you know how many people Booth has shot for his country?
Approximately fifty.
Wow. That's a lot of blood to have on your hands. It's the kind of thing that would keep a person awake at night.
And Booth did that because he trusted that it was right, and who did he trust?
The government.
Oh.
If they lied about the murder of a president, they can lie about anything.
Were you aware that JFK had scarlet fever in childhood?
Hodgins informed me of that fact, yes.
Scarlet fever can cause osteomyelitis.
It's very rare, Cam. It can happen in approximately one in a hundred cases. It's statistically unlikely that it was Kennedy.
You're a good person. I will never forget what you did for him.
[...]
[offers Brennan his arm before crossing the street] Shall we?
[smiling] We shall.
You know, you must think I'm crazy for being so happy that it wasn't JFK.
I'm very impressed. You wanted the truth, even if it was going to hurt you.
I learned that from you.
Really?
Yeah. I mean, sometimes you have to go with your brain over of your gut.
That's nice, but I prefer that you always go with your brain over your gut, because your gut cannot think.
Your brain can't digest a breakfast burrito. I'm just saying, to each their own!
To each their own.
Temperance BrennanEmily Deschanel · 767 quotes
Seeley BoothDavid Boreanaz · 756 quotes
Jack HodginsT.J. Thyne · 286 quotes
Angela MontenegroMichaela Conlin · 229 quotes
Lance SweetsJohn Francis Daley · 128 quotes
Zack AddyEric Millegan · 89 quotes
Caroline JulianPatricia Belcher · 53 quotes
AubreyBrandee Steger · 44 quotes
Wendell BrayMichael Grant Terry · 31 quotes
Colin FisherJoel David Moore · 23 quotes
Clark EdisonEugene Byrd · 22 quotes
GoodmanCarrie Wiita · 20 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Bones pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
Bones · 1,470 quotes
