Clark Edison quotes from Bones

Clark

Those naked ladies were trippin'.

Max

Oh, he's a full-grown scientist?

Clark

I shave, sir. I have a driver's license. I've won a couple fist fights. I've saved a life. I've lain with women. I've been hustled at pool. I've defied my father's wishes. I have broken hearts and I have been heartbroken. So, by all the markers of this society, I am a grown man.

Max

Oh. You've "lain with women"?

Russ

Is he gonna talk like that at Dad's trial?

Angela

Hey, I used the measurements of the injuries, drawing different scenarios on possible weapons.

Clark

[looking at Angela's outfit] And you did this while jogging?

Angela

Well yeah, I was..burning off a little of my extra desires on my way to work...sweet-pea.

Clark

Sweet-pea's an inappropriate workplace moniker

Angela

Don't worry Clark, I won't eat you...Not that I'm not tempted.[smiles]

Anything of value yet?

Brennan

We're cataloging injuries. I thought you would be with Booth.

Questioning people isn't really my thing. Most of the time I just want to beat them until they tell me what I want to hear.

Brennan

I know, it gets frustrating, and hitting can quite often be effective.

Clark

You both work with the Justice Department?

Brennan

Yes.

Clark

Ironic.

The remains were found in the possession of a Norwegian Black Metal Band.

Brennan

[looking at Clark] What's Black Metal?

Clark

I don't know, it's Norwegian, that's a whole different kind of black.

Brennan

Norway?

We don't have enough crucified corpses of our own, now the Vikings are sending them?

Clark

The annual murder rate in Norway is 0.7.

Brennan

Less than one murder a year.

In that case, they should solve the ones they have or they'll never get any practice.

Clark

I'm more of a lab rat, Dr. Brennan. Perhaps somebody more outdoorsy would be better.

Brennan

Clark, if there's spinal damage that corresponds to the compression fractures on the long bones, we could have cause of death. I need those bones. You're the most qualified. Don't scratch your neck with the gloves!

Clark

[affects a Southern accent] Well, is it all right if I get a drink of water, boss? You know, it's awful hot out there, and them tools is mighty heavy.

Brennan

Of course you can get water. Why are you talking like that?

Clark

Nevermind. I'll go.

Brennan

But on her last visit with him, she weighed 234 pounds.

Clark

Baby had back. [disapproving looks from Brennan and Cam] Sorry... I don't know where that came from.

Clark

Dr. Brennan wants me to identify the best solvent to remove polystren from the bones. So I put myself in the mindset of Dr. Hodgins and came up with this experiment.

I have a new appreciation for Dr. Hodgins.

So what was it like to meet Hannah?

Brennan

Oh, she seems very pleasant and attractive. Her face fits comfortably within the Golden Ratio.

Hodgins

So you guys did math together?

Brennan

No, the Golden Ratio is a formula that determines beauty; 1 to 1.618. For instance, the width of the mouth to the width of the cheeks --

Angela

So she's hot?

Clark

I see some particulates here, Dr. Hodgins, you know, if we still care about finding what happened to these poor people.

I just assumed that when you guys got back from your trip you'd be a real couple.

Brennan

We were never a couple.

Clark

Dr. Saroyan, you assured me that you would try to keep this workplace professional.

And I will, Dr. Edison.

Angela

No, no. You were a couple, you just weren't having sex. Were you jealous?

Brennan

Of course not. I'm happy for Booth. Why would I be jealous?

Clark

Because it's obvious you and Agent Booth were attracted to each other! I mean, a blind man could see that. I just couldn't understand why you two didn't rip each other's clothes off. I mean, just get all butt naked and -- [stops in horror when he realizes what he's saying]

Clark

I would be very happy to discuss this whole mess with Dr. Brennan, Agent Booth and this new woman. What the hell is that about?! I mean, come on. The potential emotional fallout, it could be cataclysmic! Am I right?

Hodgins

Okay, we should really focus on these bone fragments so that you can determine the weapon. Okay?

Clark

Oh, sure! But my money's on Dr. B and Booth!

Clark

She was killed by a blunt force trauma to the occipital bone. The bone shards were jammed into her brain.

This was one angry, violent death.

Clark

Dr. Brennan would say it's impossible to know the assailant's state of mind, but I'm gonna go on record right now and say this was one psycho dude.

Clark

Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to spy on you two, I just -- wow, that is so amazing. You guys! [hugs them]

Angela

Thanks. Wow, that's really sweet.

Hodgins

Yeah, and weird. What is going on? It's like you've eaten the real Clark.

Clark

Change is growth, man. I just wanted to come by and tell you guys that you did a great job on the case.

Angela

Thank you.

Clark

[waves to Angela's belly] Bye!

Angela

Goodnight, Clark.

Hodgins

That's totally weird, right? And he was in the NSA, so he could be completely messing with us!

Angela

Or he's just turning into a normal guy. Don't get all paranoid on us! [laughs]

Brennan

[answers mobile phone] Brennan. Oh, hello, Douglas. No, I can't tonight. I'm busy. I'm sorry. Okay, goodbye!

Clark

So you have plans tonight? That's nice!

Brennan

No. No. A date on Valentine's Day comes with the expectation of affectionate companionship and probably sex. I have no intention of engaging in either.

The body fluids, along with the packing materials, transformed the tissue into an adipocerous gel.

Clark

I'm pretty sure my middle school served this for dessert.

Unless we can separate them, the packing material is going to contaminate any tests I run on the tissue.

Clark

And I need to separate these bones before there's anymore chemical damage to them.

Hodgins

I have got just what you need, Clark. This little puppy is a plycimer laser. Now, who wants to hear it bark?

Aren't those used for eye surgery?

Hodgins

There's gotta be an eye in here somewhere, right? Now, I've set it so that it'll zip through the goop and separate it from the cardboard.

Can't we just cut the box open?

Hodgins

But I already signed this out, and it's much cooler. Trust me.