Parker Booth quotes from Bones

Parker

[to Booth, when introduced to Dr. Sweets] His face doesn't look like a baby's behind!

[puts his hands over Parker's ears] Look, okay, he's having nightmares, he's not eating, he doesn't wanna go to school and suddenly he's afraid of meteors!

Sweets

Giant flaming rocks from outer space. Who wouldn't be afraid?

Parker

Can't you be his girlfriend?

Brennan

That would be inappropriate.

Parker

Why?

Brennan

Because we work together.

Parker

That's a stupid reason.

Bones, I'm really not comfortable with the questions you're asking.

Brennan

Booth, could you maybe trust me for a second? Trust that I can say the right thing? In the time I've been with you I've learned a lot about how to deal with people. [looks to Parker] Your father is very, very good with people.

Parker

Then why doesn't he have a girlfriend?

And we're off! [gets a look from Brennan] Okay. All right.

Brennan

Can I ask you a question? [Parker nods] Why do you think your father needs a girlfriend so much?

Bones, there's a whole gender/parent bond thing going on here. He's just going to get confused.

Parker

So I can have a pool!

Brennan

He doesn't sound confused.

Whoa-whoa-whoa, wait a second. You and Parker discussed my sex life?

Angela

Well, we discussed your lack of sex life.

Angela, neither you nor him, especially him, knows anything about my sex life.

Angela

Well, he knows that daddy ain't getting any, and he's concerned. He thinks you need a girlfriend... to have sex.

He said that?

Angela

Well, his exact words were, "To sex up." I think you need to talk to him honestly about your love life.

You kidding me? No offense, but I'm not talking about...

Hey...

What?

Want to run our friendly neighborhood suburbanites through the National Gun Permit Database, see if any of them own a .44? Hodgins found that in the pit. [She hands Booth the bagged bullet]

Parker

Hi, Dr. Saroyan. Do you have a boyfriend?

Angela

See? This is exactly how it started with me.

[Walking to Parker] Come on. Let's go. Come on. I gotta get you back home, or your mom's gonna kill me, all right? [They turn to leave – he looks at Parker's painted face] Let me see this stuff. [To Angela] Does this stuff come off?

Angela

Oh, seriously. That's your big worry right now?

Parker

I want you to save lives.

Yeah well I do that here.

Parker

No, here, you catch people that kill other people. There, you would make it so people won't die. Isn't that better?

Where did you learn how to throw a fast ball like that, huh? You were amazing.

Parker

You taught me.

No! No. Hey, I'm not that good. Right? Yeah.

Parker

Dad?

Yeah?

Parker

Are you going back to be a soldier?

Uh, why are you asking me that?

Parker

Mom said the Army called our house, looking for you.

I'm not in the Army anymore, Bub. I'm out, okay? I made a decision to stay with the FBI to be with you all the time.

Parker

So... it's my fault?

What's your fault?

Parker

It's my fault people will die?

No. That's-that's not what I meant.

Parker

I want you to save lives.

Yeah, well I do that here.

Parker

No, here you catch people that kill other people. There you would make it so people won't die. Isn't that better?

It was just a phone call, buddy. That's all. It's over with, alright? I've got an even better idea. What do you say we go get one of those huge, giant, root beer floats that you love so much, huh?

Parker

Sure.

Yeah, alright. That's my kid.

Ah… Look at that, huh?

Parker

Dad?

Yeah.

Parker

Did you kill anybody?

Why are you asking me that?

Parker

My friends always want to know. What should I tell them?

You tell your friends that your dad does his duty the best that he knows how. Alright? Someday, me and you are gonna talk all about it, alright?

Parker

When?

Y'know, when you're older; when you're a man.

Parker

Are you going away again?

No. Never.

Parker

Because of me?

Because of you. It's the best reason ever. Huh? Drink your orange juice, here we go; let's eat up. Mm?

I'm so glad your back buddy! And so is Christine.

Parker

She's so little.

Yeah, Oh, I think she's smiling at ya.

Parker

Ya think?

Yeah.

So, what do you think of ya room, it's just like your old one.

Parker

It's awesome.

Parker

I think you should take her.

Right, okay. Easy.

Parker

I don't want her to hate me.

She's not gonna hate you. You're her big brother. Come on, huh?

It's alright.

So, what do you think of that i got the old RC truck out. I found it.

Parker

Do you think it still works?

Of course it does. Me and Christine we put some batteries in it this morning, and we took it for a few laps.

Look. Bones had to go to the lab, so maybe later, you, me and Christine, we can make some spaghetti meatballs, huh?

Parker

Christine can't really do the things you say, Dad.

I know. But we're all just really happy that your back.

Parker

You like her?

I love her, just like i love you, okay?

Parker

Can i just lie down? I'm tired.

Sure. Yeah. Uh, probably just jet lag, right? Before you know it you'll be back in American time, alright?

Hey, buddy. i'm really glad your back.

Parker

See ya.

Hey, buddy? You here, just had a quick break wanted to see if you wanted to grab a bite...

-or something... Parker? Parker? Great..

Parker

Dad..?

Yeah. There you are. Where were you.

Parker

What are you doing home?

I came home to see you, of course. Obviously. And i was gonna pick up my gym bag.

Parker

I haven't seen it.

Right. Of course you haven't seen my gym bag. Why would you of seen my bag..? Where were you just now?

Parker

Uh.. No where, just out exploring the woods out back.

Out back, exploring the woods? Right, then why didn't you tell the babysitter where you were?

Parker

Because i'm not a baby, Christine's the baby.

Booth... Great so is there gonna be something else or is this all about worms..? All right, so he was beaten up.

The karate teacher, I'll tell you what, i'll come by and pick you up and we can see if his hands match his wounds and stuff. Alright, see you in 15.

Hey.. Buddy, i have to get back to work, okay? Stay tight and i'll see you later on. And if you go anywhere you tell the babysitter... right, sitter. You tell the sitter where you'll be.

Parker

Yeah.

Kay'.

Parker

I haven't done anything wrong! I swear.

You've been destroying things, you've been lying to us.

Brennan

You've stolen pictures.

Parker

I haven't stolen anything!

It's best to stop right now, bud. You don't wanna make it any worse.

Parker

You don't understand.

Brennan

I do. There's an anthropological necessity for you to seek superior status within the family structure.

Parker

I don't understand.

Well.. she just means that we understand that it's hard for you to accept Christine.

Parker

No! No! I like her. She's my sister, I love her! You guys are ruining everything.

Brennan

Us? What did we do?

Parker

It was supposed to be a surprise, you would see it when you put Christine to bed! I may as well show you now.

Parker

I wanted to make her something, that's all.

Parker

See? It's Christine's family.

Parker

Here's a picture of Temperance.

Parker

Dad, there's your FBI patch.

That's the patch you took from my Gym bag.

Parker

Yeah, but it was an extra. I made sure.

Parker

See, and here's a picture of all of us.

Brennan

It's beautiful, Parker.

Brennan

Let's see how Christine likes it.

Parker

Turn it on, Dad.

Alright.

Parker

I used the motor from our truck.

Right, from the RC truck.

Parker

M-hmm!

Wow! Look at that.

Parker

I got the music from the chip in a greeting cart.

Parker

And i got that picture of my face in the middle. That way, Christine will know me the next time i come to visit.

I'm sorry, Buddy.

Parker

It's okay.

Parker

She likes it.

Brennan

She loves it.

London is a long flight, you must be tired.

Parker

I'm fine! I can't wait till Christine wakes up from her nap.

Yeah, she's sleeping, huh.

Parker

And if you have to go to work?

No! I don't have to go anywhere. I'm exactly where I want to be. Right here with my son.

Parker

Mom packed my tuxedo. That's what I'm supposed to wear, right?

Yeah! Yeah, we're gonna look like a bunch of waiters out there.

Parker

I'm glad your marrying Bones, ya know? Mom's happy for you too.

Thanks, I'm happy. I'm happy you're here. Alright? So, I have this list of things I need to get done, right?

Parker

Mhm!

I need you to make sure I don't forget.

Parker

Me?

Yeah, you. That's what the best man does. I'm asking you to be my best man.

Parker

Really!?

Alright!

Parker

Thanks, dad.

I love ya. Alright, here's what we gotta get!

Hank

I'd like to make a toast before we go.

No no no, Pops. You do that at the rehearsal dinner, OK?

Hank

Just a little one, Shrimp. A private one. I've been waiting for this day ever since I met Tempe.

Max

I'm doing that to him.

Then I'm going to sing a song. A little one. Actually, two.

Parker

I'm pretty hungry.

Brennan

We should hurry. We don't want to be late to the dinner...

Yeah.

[jokingly looks at Max and Hank] You know what? We're getting in trouble for loving them.

Hank

Better not to listen. [turns to Booth] You're a lucky man, Shrimp. You found a woman who's willing to stand up to you and call you on your crap.

My what??

Hank

You can be stubborn and if she's willing to stick around and try to civilize you, then you better listen and make adjustments, 'cause that's love.

Seeley, what you have here is the final piece of the puzzle. It's what's going to make you whole. Tempe is the woman I always wished I could be and the one that every mother prays that her son will find.

Max

[dramatically] Now I'm gonna cry. How can I do a speech if I'm gonna cry.

Hank

You should elope!

[groans] Ooohhhh.

Parker

What's that?

Hank

It means going to the justice of the peace to get hitched. No fuss, no bother.

Pops, forget it. I owe Bones fuss.

Eloping is romantic.

Parker

[grins] Chicks dig romantic, Dad!

Hank

That's true!

[horrified] What do you mean chicks?!