Wendell Bray quotes from Bones

Wendell

[to Cam] Something is going on here that I don't know anything about, so walking away. Running away.

Wendell

I was leaving and I came here to say goodbye but, uh....I had to fight. I'm not going down. Maybe I want to be remembered in the right way...by the people that I care about. Maybe I want to be remembered as someone who fought back.

Hodgins

We're not idiots.

Wendell

I feel like an idiot. [Hodgins glares at him]

[to Wendell] You don't speak right now. Either of you.

My people were right.

Your people???

We're Booth's people.

Angela

Where did this come from?

Wendell

Egyptology Department.

Angela

They let you borrow it?

Wendell

Well, no one was using it.

Angela

Tell me you're kidding.

Wendell

No... I left a note.

Wendell

What happened to your measuring tape?

Brennan

I don't know. Missing. There was a Post-It note from the Egyptology Department.

Wendell

Zack screamed when he saw the body so he's off the hook, right?

Zack

Yelped!

Fisher

He screamed like slutty girl #1 on a teen horror flick.

Hodgins

DARPA created a chicken soldier?

Wendell

I do not see the United States military making chicken soldiers. Eagle, maybe.

Hodgins

That's why we couldn't find his so-called fingers, because they're transformed into talons. I mean, talons would be much better weapons.

Wendell

If you don't mind me asking, Dr. B, why do you keep staring at the X-ray?

Brennan

Because I'm suffering the nagging certainty that my eyes are seeing something which my brain refuses to process.

Hodgins

Mother Nature cleaned these bones.

Wendell

She did a crappy job.

Hodgins

Shh... She can hear you.

Brennan

It's as if this man spent a great deal of time on his hands while engaging in a repetitive motion.

Wendell

...I get it!

Brennan

This motion would be reminiscent of a primate having intercourse!

Wendell

We are looking for a horny farmer, yes we are.

Hodgins

Who let Cam shoot a gun?

Wendell

The Second Amendment.

Angela

[walks in tiredly] Ugh...

Wendell

[sees Angela in her oversized outfit] Holy cow!

Angela

[sighs] I heard that.

Wendell

Oh! No, no, no, no! Heh! It was, um, it was an exclamation of admiration. [clears throat, Angela smiles sarcastically] I wasn't actually --

Hodgins

Stop now. Save yourself.

Wendell

-- commenting on your size.

Angela

So this is why you broke into the cafeteria?

Wendell

Yep. I learned how to do this in grade school. I won my science fair.

Angela

Oh my God. You were that kid.

Wendell

Meaning what?

Angela

The showoff.

Wendell

And this is how you thank me.

Hodgins

This is spudtastic! Is this for the victim's cell phone?

Wendell

Yeah. I'm connecting groups of potatoes in series to increase voltage, then we can connect these potatoes together in parallel to increase amperage.

Hodgins

Spudsational! Totally spudtacular! Can I help?

Angela

If you stop making spud jokes.

Hodgins

Sorry. My sincerest potatologies.

Wendell

You know, the only perimortem injury that I could find is this fracture to the nasal bone.

Hodgins

Who dies of a broken nose?

Wendell

Exactly. If I can't figure out the cause of death, Dr. Brennan's gonna be tossing me into that machine.

Hodgins

Right.

Wendell

You're supposed to say, "No, she'll understand."

Hodgins

Oh, but she won't.

Wendell

Ah, that is so funny.