Zack Addy quotes from Bones

Zack

She said "Take a hint." But when I asked "What hint?," Naomi said if she told me what hint, that it wouldn't be a hint any more, it would be a statement.

Zack

I'm not used to bodies looking so much like actual human beings.

Zack

She has very nice, symmetrical buttocks...She's definitely not the killer.

Zack

Hodgins is all about dirt and Angela

Zack

Your estimate was correct. This hole is consistent with a 22-caliber slug. I learned "slug" from Cam. It's a colloquialism for projectile.

Goodman

I do not view you as property, Dr. Brennan. You are one of the Jeffersonian's most valuable assets.

Zack

An asset is, by definition, property.

Goodman

What's the rule, Mr. Addy?

Zack

You only converse with PhDs. You do realize I'm halfway through two doctorates. Two halves make a whole, so mathematically speaking...

Goodman

Go polish a bone, Mr. Addy.

Zack

If Smokey here had access to the president, why would he attack a café?

Brennan

"Smokey"?

Zack

It's how I deal with stress.

Hodgins

Targeting everyday places causes panic. People stay home, the economy is crippled. It's Terrorism 101, man.

Hodgins

I graduated top of my class, Rhodes scholar, the youngest member inducted into the Academy of Physical Sciences, but she still makes me feel like a cretin.

Zack

She apologized to me.

Hodgins

[after Angela tells them she talked to Booth's girlfriend.] She's spying for you?

Brennan

No. No!

Zack

If you have nothing in common, it's difficult to sublimate intense sexual attraction.

Brennan

[glares at Zack] Okay, stop.

Angela

He is there for the taking, honey.

Booth

Okay, I couldn't get his medical records.

Booth

What?

Brennan

[quickly] Nothing.

Zack

I had sex with Naomi in Paleontology.

Angela

You mean, actually in Paleontology?

Zack

No, at her place. I thought it went great, but I could be wrong, because apparently what I think is wild and kinky is basic. And since she never called me back, I'm wondering if it's because I lack imagination in the sack.

Angela

You know what, Zack? I'm thinking this is more of a guy-guy conversation.

Zack

Sometimes, when you're not busy, I wonder if I could ask you a few questions about sexual positions?

Booth

If you even try, I will take out my gun and shoot you between the eyes.

Hodgins

All I am saying is, why cut somebody into pieces?

Zack

Pack'em up tighter; maybe, say, in a suitcase.

Hodgins

How did a bear open a suitcase?

I saw a documentary once where a bear got into a car and drove away.

Hodgins

That was not a documentary. It was a cartoon.

Angela

Did you work all night?

Hodgins

Yes, I shaved the truffle.

Angela

Is that anything like spanking the monkey?

Hodgins

I found boring dust.

Angela

Is there any other kind?

Hodgins

Boring dust is produced by beetles, which means the tree the truffle grew on was infested.

Zack

That's not going to impress Toni.

Hodgins

That's not why I did it. I did it to serve justice and capture a murderous cannibal.

Angela

That'll impress the hot courier.

Hodgins

I am back in the game.

You mind if I make an observation?

Brennan

No, of course not.

In your book, the cops come off as very one-dimensional. Why is that?

Brennan

You mean two-dimensional.

Zack

One-dimensionality exists only in theory as a mathematical value.

O-kay. Really looking forward to your next book.

Goodman

When I said you should think of this invitation as a summons, I understated it. It's a subpoena, a Grand Jury subpoena. Ignore it at your own peril.

Brennan

You're not going to fire us if we don't go.

Goodman

No, not fire you, but I can move your parking spots to Lot M. Enjoy the shuttle ride.

Zack

The shuttle smells like feet.