[Steven Tyler is shown with dreadlocks]
He looks like Vanilli.
Yeah.
Livin' on the Edge
[the two laugh as Joe Perry plays his guitar on a railroad track with a train approaching]
Hit him! Hit him! Hit him!
Yeah! Just keep playing!
Yeah.
Everything's cool. [Joe Perry steps off the track just before the train passes] Aogh! That sucked!
Yeah. He should've waited longer.
[the two laugh as two teenage boys drive a stolen car towards a brick wall]
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Cool! [car crashes, airbags deploy] Aogh! Airbags suck!
Yeah.
Rag Doll
[a Catholic school girl sits on her father's lap]
Joey Buttafuoco!
You said "Buttafuoco."
Hey, Beavis. What do you think "Buttafuoco" means?
They'll never see ya leavin' by the back door...
He said "back door."
[about Steven Tyler] Dude looks like a lady!
Speakeasy on the grapevine...
Cool!
Rag doll, livin' in a movie, hot tramp, daddy's little cutie...
Beavis, I thought you were daddy's little cutie.
Shut up, bunghole!
I Stay Away
[video is entirely claymation]
Um...um, is this Alice in Chains?
Uh, yeah.
Wow. Boy, they sure look different.
Uh, maybe it's 'cause they had to, like, you know, clean themselves up, you know, 'cause it's a slow song?
Yeah. I'll buy that.
Remember that time we went to the circus, and we saw that clown? And then I, like, pulled down my pants-- [a woman's nipple is shown] Whoa, check it out! I just saw a nipple, Butt-head, look!
Where?
It was - it was, like, right at the end of a boob!
Beavis, that's just a puppet nipple.
Um...uh...no it wasn't! W - what do you mean?
That's just, like, a chick made out of clay, Beavis.
Um...oh. Yeah yeah, but...she has a nipple on it!
Beavis, I could go get some clay now and make a boob with a nipple on it. So what?
Um...wait a minute. You have some clay?
No.
Damn. Next time they have those clay projects in school, I'm gonna make a big boob. Yeah. Maybe a butt, too.
Yeah. Last time, you just made an ashtray. It sucked.
Oh yeah. Well, you made a baseball.
Oh yeah. Then the teacher called me a lazy turd.
Oh yeah. So then you made that.
Yeah. But not out of clay.
God
[video opens with two rats moving across a wet floor]
Rats are cool!
Yeah. Somebody better call the Orkin Man. [Tori Amos is holding a candle] Whoa, candle! Candle! Candle! Candle!
Candles rule.
Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever seen those alarm clocks, that they're like, candles, and you stick 'em up your butt?
Uh, I've never heard of that, Beavis.
Yeah, yeah. It's like, they have all these times written on the side, and then you light it and sleep on your stomach, and then when it like, burns down to the time, it's like, it's like, it gets on your butt and you go, "AHHHHHH-HHHHHHHH-HHHHHHHHHH!" and then you wake up. Yeah.
Really?
Yeah. I'll show you one, my uncle has a whole bunch of 'em. He usually gives me one for my birthday.
[Tori Amos is seen playing with rats and snakes]
This chick is psycho!
Yeah, it's like, you know, it's like, she's pretty hot, but it's like, I don't know, man. I'd, like, stay away from her.
Yeah. It's like, she's got a nice body and everything, but if you went out with her, she'd probably, like, put a rat's head on your bed or something.
That wouldn't be so bad, it's just...she'd probably chop off your wiener, too.
Oh yeah. You don't want to get involved with a chick who has like, a whole bunch of pets.
Yeah, yeah. They get all psycho!
Anthrax, "Hy Pro Glo
See also: Anthrax, "Looking Down The Barrel Of A Gun", The Beavis and Butt-head Experience (Geffen Records, 3 November 1993), tr. 2.
Archers of Loaf, "Web in Front
Hey, that looks like that dude who comes by to check the butane.
Oh yeah, yeah. I saw that guy in my yard once, I thought he was a trespasser, so I started shooting him with my BB gun, and it's like--
Shut up, Beavis, those pigs are doing it!
Really? Oh! Yeah. That's cool!
How come that pig can score, and we can't?
Uh...well, the only reason that pig scored is 'cause he was, like, in a video.
Oh yeah, yeah. I forgot about that.
Yeah. Like, if pigs had a video...
Uh huh.
and like, we were in that video...
Uh huh, yeah.
...then like, we could score.
Hmm. You mean, like, with a pig?
No, dumbass! With a chick in the video!
With a chicken??
No, Beavis! I'm talking like, about, like, a human chick.
Um, what's that?
Just a regular chick!
Ohh! Oh, oh, oh. Oh, I see. Yeah. Yeah, th - th - that's pretty cool, yeah.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.