TV show quotes
What's the deal with this short dude?
Yeah. Really.
Is he, like, in the band, or is he just, like, some weird dude?
Really. It's like, all these videos now, they like, just get a couple weird dudes, and just like, shake the camera around and just, like, do a bunch of crap.
Yeah. They need to get back to the basics, like chicks in bikinis and explosions.
[close-up shot of a woman's breasts]
I wish I had boobs like that.
Yeah. If I had boobs like that, I'd never leave the house.
I'd leave the house so I could go get a mirror, and look at my boobs.
Whoa! He's holding a wiener!
Hey, Butt-head. You know that video about that guy who lost his penis? He should watch this video!
That's not his penis, Beavis! Uh [chuckles]...his Beavis, penis! Penis, Beavis!
Shut up, Butt-head!
Penis, Beavis, Uranus!
SHUT UP! Shut up, Butt-head! I'll kick your ass!
Well, at least my name doesn't rhyme with "penis."
Shut up, Butt-head. Your mom's a slut.
Beavis, we weren't talking about my mom. We're talking about how your name sounds like "penis."
Prince sure is old.
Yeah. And he's white!
Yeah. He has that disease, like Michael Jackson.
Yeah. He got it from Prince.
You don't have to be rich to be my girl, you don't have to be cool to rule my world...
Hey, Butt-head. Do you have to be, like, cool to rule my world?
No, you just have to be stupid.
...kiss.
Kiss this! [Beavis moons the TV screen]
I like that song "Gett Off" better. And "Cream."
You said "get off." That was cool.
Hey! This isn't Prince! This is that old guy that stuffs his pants.
Yeah.
Whoa. These chicks rock.
[Kat Bjelland: Liar.]
Fire?
[Kat Bjelland: Liar.]
Fire? Fire, fire! Yeah, fire, fire!
Shut up, assmunch, she said "liar."
Are you calling me a liar?
No, I'm calling you a waste of bumwipe.
These are the kind of girls that won't talk to us.
Yeah, these are a bunch of rich chicks.
Yeah, they're afraid of our love.
Is this Dire Straits again?
These cheerleaders are fat.
Yeah.
These guys are cool 'cause they can, like, jump around real slow.
Yeah.
That would be cool if we could go to this forest and hang out with these guys.
Yeah. We can, like, dance in the forest and be cool.
Yeah!
[footage of lightning, a volcano erupting, and a tornado is shown]
Whoa! Is this, like, The Weather Channel?
Yeah. The forecast is partially cool.
I'm the illest motherf**ker from here to Gardena...
[imitating the Beastie Boys] Gardena!
Yeah.
Gardena!
Gardena! Gardena!
These guys are good dancers.
Yeah. I wish I was more like them.
Yeah. Me too.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
