Being in the captivity of nature without women is the perfect way to wrestle with your manhood.
Beavis wrestles with his manhood.
Yeah, heh, I usually win.
“Bang The Drum Slowly, Dumbass” · Season 5, Episode 36
In this episode: Smart Beavis (4), Smart Butt-head (3), Mr. Van Driessen (3)
[bangs the drum] This sucks. [bangs it again] Uh....this sucks. [bangs it some more] This sucks.
Now Beavis, try and get in touch with your inner male.
Heheh, no way! Not with a bunch of dudes watching!
[beats drum] Woah, that was pretty cool. [beats the drum and laughs, getting progressively faster]
Okay Beavis, now let that wild man within put his feelings into words.
Yeah, hehe, it's like, it's like, I wanna check out chicks' thingies! I wanna see their thingies! But they won't let me! And that just makes me wanna check them out even more!
ODOther dude 1
We feel your male pain.
I feel like I'm never gonna score! And chicks don't wanna talk to me! Like, I wanna go up and say ‘Hey baby how's it goin?' heh. And then just like, they just go away! And then they slap me!
ODOther dude 2
I can identify with that….I guess.
And sometimes I just wanna like, get a big bulldozer and I just wanna like, bulldoze the walls to the girls' locker room! That way I can see their boobs!
That would be cool.
It's like I know they're naked inside there, and I just can't stand it! And then, and then I wanna take the bulldozer and like, I wanna bulldoze the cafeteria too! And then the library! Destroy all the books! Eheheheheh, and then I wanna go to the principal's office, and bulldoze the principal's office too! EHEHEHEH!
ODOther dude 1
I think someone's inner warrior needs to go back to basic training...
Things will never turn out they way they-!
[interrupting] Maybe you need professional help, Beavis. [reaches over to get the drum back]
[beats his hand away] NEVER!
ODOther dude 3
Someone take that damn drum away from him!
ODOther dude 2
What the hell are you teaching these kids of yours anyway?
ODOther dude 1
You know, the guys at the gym were right, you ARE a pantywaist.
ODOther dude 3
And you said this was the way to recapture the spirit of Woodstock? Woodstock my ass!
[beating the drum each time he says it] Naked boobs, naked boobs, naked boobs!
[tired, some time at least a day later, when school is back in session and Mr. Van Driessen asks Butt-head where he is] I get the crane with the wrecking ball, and the bulldozer, one of those really nice shovels, and a backhoe and a forklift, a front end loader and a combine. and um...a getaway car and some rubbers. Only then will I score. Butt-head?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.