Smart Butt-head quotes from Beavis and Butt-Head

Butt-head

[fake accent] He was aiming at us. Huh huh.

Beavis

[fake accent] He didn't fire. Fire Fire Fire! Heh heh heh. Fire! Huh heh heh. Yeah.

Are you two gonna buy something or are you gonna stare all day?

Butt-head

Uh, we're gonna stare all day.

You kids are going to pay for those.

Butt-head

No problem dude, you want cash or should we go spank the monkey again.

Beavis

Yeah.

Mr. Stevenson

What the hell!? These are the boy geniuses you're talking about!? What's so funny you little twerps!? I'LL SPANK YOUR MONKEYS!!!

Buzzcut

Are you a man?

Butt-head

Uhhh, yeah.

Buzzcut

What makes you think so?

Butt-head

Uhhh, I got testicles.

Buzzcut

You think that makes you a man? I'll show you a real man... kick me in the jimmy.

Butt-head

No way!

Buzzcut

I said do it!

Buzzcut

Yyyyeessss!!

Butt-head

Whoa, that was cool.

Butt-head

Huh huh huh. Maybe we should go buy something.

Beavis

Yeah. Heh heh heh. Like what? Heh heh heh.

Good evening and welcome to America's Most Hated. What you're about to see is a crime so heinous, so replusive, so actual, it may shake your very faith in human nature.

You don't want me to appoint you an attorney, a lawyer who can take your case?

Butt-head

I can handle it, dude. I've like, seen The People's Court.

You'll need someone who knows the laws, who's familiar with the penal system and--

Beavis

[Laughing with Butt-head] She said penal.

If my arm weren't so sore from my new tattoo, I'd smear both your asses all over the parking lot.

Beavis

Whoa, heh heh, cool.

Give me those nachos and those fruity whips and I might not shove these handle bars up your butt.

Butt-head

Err, Okay.

Butt-head

  One family pack of chicken nuggets.

Beavis

  One large cola.

Butt-head

  Would you like fries with that?

Beavis

  Yeah, yeah I will.

Beavis

Butt tattoos kick ass!

Butt-head

And ass tattoos kick butt.

Beavis

Voices are cool. I hear voices too. They tell me to do stuff like stay home from school, and watch TV, and, like, break stuff, and like...

Butt-head

Whoa. Preach on, brother Beavis.

[while discussing about Jurassic Park] ..and then he attacked the dude in his own car.

Beavis

The dinosaur had a car?

Butt-head

How else you think he's got there, dumbass? On a bike?

Beavis

Shut up, Butt-head!

Beavis

Getting kicked in the nads by a cow sucks!

Butt-head

Uh, That's not a real cow, dude. That's like a deer.

Beavis

How did you know?

Beavis

Heh heh, hey Butt-head, squeeze my finger.

Butt-head

Which one, Beavis? The finger by your butt?

Beavis

Heh, yeah! Pull that one.

Butt-head

[sings] Old MacDonald had a farm, E...uhh, I? Z? Is there, like, a Q in there?

Beavis

Yeah, heh heh, [sings] E-I-Q...uhh, Z...M.

Butt-head

Hey Beavis. I heard if you tip a cow over while it's sleeping, cool stuff happens.

Beavis

Really? Like what?

Butt-head

Uh...it falls over?

Beavis

Cool! We're there, dude!