5th most-quoted character in Back at the Barnyard: in 63 of its 303 quotesOtis (52), Pig (25), Abby (24)
Scenes with Pip 60
[The barn is filled with clams.]
Otis, what are we gonna do?!
I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna sit back and enjoy the fun!
Pip Otis, what are you talking about?!
Yeah, we got a situation here!
No, you have a situation, because for once, something is your fault! [laughs] Oh, that's rich! There was one clam before, but now there's a lot of 'em. Oh, there's gonna be more! And when the farmer gets back, he's gonna be all, "What are these clams doin' here?! I'll bet it was that she-cow's fault!" Oh, Abby, how will you get out of this one?
[Crazy Louie has been hit by a golf club.]
Ow, my appendix! How will I process enzymes and convert them into simple sugars?!
Pip How do you know it's your appendix?
Well, if you look at this x-ray, you'll see that my appendix, that's it, was on its last leg, so to speak. The doc said I'd be fine as long as no one hit it with a golf club.
Pip Why are your plans always so quiet?
[yelling really loudly] BECAUSE THIS VOLUME'S VERY ANNOYING!
[crying] I can't believe no one showed up to my family reunion. The Buyer family has always been so close.
Buyer family? "Welcome Buyers..." Oh, milk me, his last name is Buyer! Guys, he wasn't gonna sell the farm.
You mean, we scared away his family?
Pip How were we supposed to know his last name is Buyer?
[Montage start.]
M Mailman
Delivery for Mr. Buyer.
AM Answering machine
You've reached the Buyer residence.
I'll get this stump out, or my name isn't Buyer, which it is. That's my name. My last name is Buyer. B-U-Y-E-R.
O Officer
This is the FBI, Buyer! Come out with your hands up!
You'll never take Farmer Buyer alive!
[Montage end.]
Yeah, we're not psychics.
There won't be a reception; female spotted ferrets eat Their mates' heads on their wedding night!
Look, marriage is all about compromise. You give a little; she eats your head... [Inga eats his head and the animals scream; muffled] It's okay! Just a little love bite.
[The animals pull Freddy's back from Inga's mouth]
Pip Dude, she has lockjaw.
Abby, quick, the spot remover! [grunts] Now!
[Abby and uses the spot remover to spray off the fake spots]
[muffled at Inga's mouth] Are we married yet?
[looking surprised] Huh? [from off-screen, she spits out his head; tumbling Freddy onto the side of the hole] Freddy, you're not a spotted ferret! You lied to me!
[packing up] No! The wedding is off! And to think, I almost ate your head! [walks off sobbing]
Baby, don't go! I can change!
[rushes to Freddy] Freddy, she was eating your head!
We were working through that!
[walks up] Hey, where's the happy couple? We got you a panini press. [Freddy bawls hysterically as he walks away] I knew I should have gotten the fondue set.
[interrupting Snotty Boy from shooting earwax at the farm animals] Eugene!
[irritated] I'm... BUSY!!!
[talking through a megaphone] Come home! I have a wonderful surprise for you!
A surprise? I like surprises. [chuckles] You're lucky, cow.
[storms off] I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME!
[The animals all get up and groan from Snotty Boy's attack.]
Alright, is everyone okay?
Sorry, I can't hear you. I have wax in my ears, AND IT'S NOT MINE!
Pip I hate that kid!
I don't like the sound of this "big surprise".
I don't like the sound of vacuums!
Pip You're not bright.
Pip, could you please tell the weasel to pass the syrup?
Pip Dude, leave me out of this.
Pip, you tell that mistake of nature he can have the syrup after he passes me the salt.
Pip Oh, well, in that case, no.
Tell him only idiots eat pancakes with salt.
F Dr. Filly
Folks, a one-eyed doodlebug can see that this barnyard is rife with emotional tension.
F Dr. Filly
Bingo. Families are like a beekeeper with his hair on fire. You can't tell him what for, and if'n you do, he'll ask you for change!
[The animals stare with confusion.]
Pip What?
F Dr. Filly
[about Pig] Okay, for example, this little feller right here uses pancakes to smother the sad clown inside his heart.
[cries] It's true! Oh, it's true! [falls to the floor, and notices a stray pancake] Oh, finders keepers. [eats the pancake]
F Dr. Filly
[about Pip] And this little feller lives in the shadow of a best friend with whom he could never hope to compete.
Pip I'm not just a sidekick. I'm a person! OH, SWEET CHEESE! IT HURTS!
F Dr. Filly
[to Otis and Abby] And you two are mired in the pasty quicksand of your ongoing romantic tension.
I don't secretly love you!
[Both giggle nervously.]
Otis, I can't believe that phony Big Bones is getting the credit for your mustache recipe.
Mmm. Who cares? Freddy's imitation rooster is awesome!
[Everyone else agrees.]
Pip Hey, wait a minute. Where's Peck?
[Everyone looks at their forks, thinking they ate Peck.]
[monotone] Aaaaaaaaahhhh.
Pip AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
[Otis uses a plunger on his mouth. Just then, Freddy and Peck enter.]
[Everyone is relieved to see Peck.]
I don't even wanna tell you what we were thinking.
That the secret ingredient in tofrooster is dandruff? How'd you guess?
[Beat.]
[monotone] Aaaaaaaaahhhh.
Pip AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
[still suffering from indigestion] AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
R Rooster
[singing opera] Aaaaaaaaaahhh!
[At Mr. Wiggleplix's funeral, Pig is sobbing at Mr. Wiggleplix's grave.]
Friends, we're gathered here remember Mr. Wiggleplix. He lived a short, full life until Otis crushed him with an anvil.
Otis, since you often, maybe you'd like to say a few words.
Um, yeah those words would be "no".
Otis, you've got to! It says so in "What to Do Your Friend's Imaginary Friend's Funeral"!
Oh, okay, fine. [gets up and walks to the "R.I.P. Mr. Wiggleplix" sign] Uh... Mr. Wiggleplix was transparent. I, for one, will never forget how I was never able to see any type of physical manifestation of this... [looks at the sign] uh, giant top hatted koala.
Hedgehog! He was a giant HEDGEHOG!!! [runs away in tears]
Pip Yeah, first, you off his friend, then you call him a filthy koala!
Oh, okay, first, I never said filthy. And second, HE DOES NOT EXIST!
Look at her beady, little eyes, her furrowed brow, her cruel hateful beak.
Freddy, you're looking at me.
Guys, Bessy's my best friend. I refuse to believe she stole those paintings.
Well, there's only one way to find out.
Confront her with what we saw?
No way! You remember the last time we tried to confront her with something?
[Flashback to Bessy dropping an anvil on Otis' head.]
Pip Alert the authorities?
Ha! You remember the last time we tried to alert the authorities?
[Flashback to Bessy shoving Pig in Otis' mouth.]
Maybe we should forget the whole thing and go about our business.
You remember the last time we tried to forget the whole thing and go about our business?
[Flashback to Bessy dropping the henhouse on Otis.]
First the lights, then the scream, Now the locked door, This has Hockey Mask Bob written all over it!
There is no Hockey Mask Bob. Someone get me a shovel. I'm breaking this door open.
Not me. I'm waiting right here so he doesn't get me.
[Hockey Mask Bob grabs Pig in the basement and the animals start to panic that Hockey Mask Bob was here]
All right, stay calm. Nobody panic.
Pip Why not?
Because I'm gonna panic enough for everyone. [panics] OH MY GOSH, IT WAS REALLY HOCKEY MASK BOB! HE'S REALLY REAL! AND HE JUST TOOK ABBY AND PIG AND NOW HE'S GONNA COME AFTER THE REST OF US!
AAH! Hockey Mask used his demon powers to summon Abby's face onto his face! AAH!
No, it's really me! I just pranked you. We all did!
[The others show up.]
Pip Ha-ha, did we scare ya?
AAAH! Hockey Mask Bob used dark sorcery to reanimate the bodies of my friends in a horrible fashion! [screams]
A Announcer
One hour later...
AAAH! Hockey Mask Bob is pretending to be the announcer and making horrifying statements about the passage of time! [screams]
[After the British orphan Otis gave the Z-Box to is revealed to be a conman.]
Well, Otis, you did the wrong thing.
I sure did, Abby. I sure did.
Pip Yeah, it was actually pretty stupid.
Yeah, I mean, you just gave it to him.
[annoyed] I know what I did!
Tell us another story, Santa.
Pip Yeah, come on, Santa.
Another story? What is this, Santa's book club? Hey, next time I'll tell you about when me and Rudolph went on spring break. No hiding from the cops with that nose.
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Back at the Barnyard · 303 quotes
Pip
