Hilly Burford quotes from Back at the Barnyard

[after being run over by Otis' giant cheese curd] This just in, my bones are crushed!

So, Nora Beady, you claim that barn animals can walk on two legs, talk and have crazy all-night parties.

[Flabbergasted] What the-- Lady, that's just a stupid dummy with a bucket head.

Security!

They're making a mockery of this show, which embodies all that's great about us as a species!

Lady, your vigilance has saved this show and made you a national hero!

Oh, and that's not all. They're also talking barn animals. They live next door to me and have wild, ritualistic hoedowns all night long!

You had me, and you lost me. SECURITY!

Bigfoot!

Oh, you're mine, buddy. [blows a tranquilizer dart into Otis]

Otis

[groans] Moo. [passes out]

Oh, yeah. Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy now, Bigfoot, huh?!

[investigates Otis] Wait a minute, this isn't Bigfoot! This is a cow dressed up to look like Bigfoot!

A shocking development. Someone has pasted fur on a cow to give him the appearance of Bigfoot! But who would pose such a cheap stunt just to get on TV?

What? No! The cow's in league with him! He can tell you where Bigfoot is!

You're under arrest for Bigfoot fraud!

No, oh, my! [runs away screaming]

Hey! [blows a tranquilizer dart into Mrs. Beady]

[gasps] Oh, pretty colors... [passes out]

[covering her face with steaks] Nathan, those talking animals attacked my face with bees!

That's terrible!

I know!

I was gonna eat them steaks.

We interrupt this program for a special report. Our beloved mayor has been frozen solid. He fell in the water while ice fishing. We're mayorless, people! MAYORLESS!

Nathan, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

That one day, I'll wake up screaming?

No, I'll run for mayor, and sign a decree banning those talking animals from the county... FOREVER!!!

In our final story, local chef Big Bones Mignon's new recipe for mustache jambalaya is taking the county by storm.

Dat's right! It's like a vacation in your mouth, I guarantee!

[slurps the jambalaya] Mmm. That's good mustache. [he starts feeling indigestion] Hey, I don't feel so good.

Abby

Otis, I can't believe that phony Big Bones is getting the credit for your mustache recipe.

Otis

Mmm. Who cares? Freddy's imitation rooster is awesome!

Pip

Hey, wait a minute. Where's Peck?

Otis

AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

Pig

AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

Abby

AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

[monotone] Aaaaaaaaahhhh.

Pip

AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

Peck

Hey, guys. What's doin'?

Pig

Phew!

Otis

I don't even wanna tell you what we were thinking.

Freddy

That the secret ingredient in tofrooster is dandruff? How'd you guess?

Otis

AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

Pig

AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

Abby

AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

[monotone] Aaaaaaaaahhhh.

Pip

AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

[still suffering from indigestion] AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

[singing opera] Aaaaaaaaaahhh!

[as a mall Santa] Ho, ho, ho! Merry Chr--[Snotty Boy jumps in his lap] Oof!

Snotty Boy

[yanks Hilly's fake beard and snaps it back] Shut your holiday hole, beardy!

Say, you're a hefty little guy, ain't cha?

Snotty Boy

Now, listen good! Every year, I ask you and your sorry giant behind for the same thing: a Red Ryder BB Taser with double-pump battery action for extra painfulness! But you never bring it to me!

Why, I think I'm losing feeling in my legs.

Snotty Boy

If I don't get a BB Taser this year, you'll be VERY, VERY, SORRY!

I'm already sorry. Sheesh, is it Easter yet?

Hilly Burford live from downtown, where some kind of crazy laser-shooting robot ostrich is weaving a path of destruction!

[grabs Hilly Burford with his arms] Let me help you across the street.

Hey, that's quite all right. Just put me down, now- Whoa! [Robo(Peck) throws him to the TV Screen]

Abby

We gotta do something before he destroys the whole town!

Otis

There's only one way to stop him.

Please don't say peanut butter.

Otis

There's only two ways to stop him.

You mean-

Otis

Precisely! Come on, kids. We've got a cyborg to build.