Abby quotes from Back at the Barnyard

Abby

[stops laughing]: Wait. What's this? [Abby grabs a small paper with a disclaimer and reads it with a magnifying glass] ”Clones not actual size.”

Abby

If Little Otis is anything like big Otis, there's only one thing that will lure him away from a live TV appearance, and I know just what that thing is.

Abby

I knew it. Otis is in trouble. [Abby grabs a cat carrier] I just hope my backup plan works. [Abby opens the cat carrier and pulls out a mini version of herself out of the cat carrier] Okay, Little Abby, just like we talked about. [Abby puts Little Abby on a window]

Little Abby

Right. I'm on it.

Abby

Easy. I knew he'd be crazy about her the same way big Otis is crazy about me.

Little Abby

Pucker up, sugar. [Little Abby and Little Otis share a kiss]

Pip

The Quick Fryer Mark IV. Hmm.

Abby

That's a weird name for a stereo.

Otis

Now, now, now, watch and learn, okay? The CDs go in here. [opens the lid] Then you crank up the volume right here. [turns a knob, causing flames to erupt from the machine]

Pip

And then, you run away and scream.

Otis

AAAAH!!! WHAT'S HAPPENING?! WHAT'S HAPPENING?! WHAT'S HAPPENING?!

Otis

Okay, so, not a sound system.

Freddy

[sniffs] Mmm! Something smells scrumptious! [realizing] I mean, disturbing! I knew that thing was evil! E-e-e-evil!

Otis

Stop that.

Abby

Otis, whether we wanna admit it or not, the farmer has purchased-- a barbecue grill.

Pig

Barbecue grill?

Freddy

Yay, I love kebabs! [Bessy looks at him] Sorry.

Pig

I love kebabs too, but not if I know the kebab-ee.

Otis

Now, the Farmer we've loved is gone for good, but we can still end his carnivorous reign of terror!

Pig

Mmm, pass.

Pip

Pass.

Abby

Pass.

Freddy

Big pass. Huge pass.

Otis

That's pathetic. Did Luke Skywalker pass when he had to blow up the Death Star? Did Tarzan pass when Jane was threatened by the Chimp King? Did that guy... pass... when he had to do the thing... in the place with those people?! You bet he didn't! NOW, WHO'S WITH ME?!

Otis

[gripping his own neck, using ventriloquism with his other hoof; high-pitched voice] Get in the cart or the cow gets it.

Freddy

Don't hurt him! Please don't hurt him!

Peck

Otis, we are so sick of this stupid game of yours!

Bessy

Yeah, I hope you're faster than a speeding butt-whoopin'!

Otis

Whoa, citizens no likey the Cowman.

Abby

Now, you listen, Otis, your idea to fight evil around the barnyard by becoming a superhero is just plain--

Freddy

Dumb! D-U-M-N-7-L, dumb!

Pip

Dude, there's no "L" in "dumb-7".

Abby

Oh, being superheroes was awesome, Otis. Can we do it again?

Otis

Of course, Abby. With great cow power comes great cow responsibility.

Bessy

Great, more cows in spandex.

Pig

Everyone, I thought you'd like to know that, well, how can I put this? I quit!

Otis

You can't quit! What do you mean, you quit?

Pig

Oh, look, Grammy's pies used to be about friendship and all the good times we had together. Now, it's all about, "Money, money, money! What can I buy, what can I buy?"

Otis

And?

Pig

Well, look around! Duke's a mummy dog, Freddy's a complete whackjob--

Freddy

BIRTHDAY!

Pig

The restaurant is sucking the fun out of our lives, you know? And I'm through with it, I'm gone, goodbye! [leaves the barn]

Abby

Well, so much for buying my own Italian soccer team.

What do you think, Otis? She's all repaired and ready to go.

Pip

Whoa, no way! Otis can't fly this thing; he can barely drive a stick.

Otis

Pip, relax. It's just a simulated flight. I mean, you know, Bingo wouldn't put his top test cow in any kind of danger.

Simulated. Yeah, you took these words right out of my mouth. [takes a control device from his spacesuit] Oh, oh, oh, and by the way, one little thing. It's not! [presses a button, trapping Otis and Pip inside the rocket]

Otis

What? Hey, what's going on? We're trapped!

That's right, cud boy, I'm sending you into orbit. Of course, there's no biggie for someone with your vast space experience.

Pip

Ground Control to Major Monkey. He lied!

Otis

We were nice to you. We said you could stay with us and some of us licked you. Why are you doing this?

Because I spent my whole life taking orders from humans. And I'm not about to start taking them from a cow. Any-moo, ten, nine, other numbers, blast off! [presses another button on the control device and the rocket lifts off, causing Otis and Pip to scream] [hooting] That's the last time we're ever going to hear from Otis the Daring Space Cow.

Abby

Bingo, what's going on?

Pig

What happened to Otis and Pip?

I sent your leader and his little-rat friend on a one-way trip. You're all taking orders from me now.

Otis

Alright, Abby, you ready for your first driving lesson?

Abby

I sure am.

Otis

Good. Now, the most important thing you wanna remember-

Abby

What's this button do? [presses the button]

Otis

Well, those are the windshield wipers.

Abby

Ooh! What's this? [honks the horn]

Otis

[irritated] Shhh, Mrs. Beady will hear you!

Pig

Can you crank the A/C? My thighs are stickin' to the seat.

Abby

Hey, what if I punch this real hard?

Otis

Don't-!

Freddy

AAAH! The car's inflating its giant stink sack!

Peck

Hang on, I got it. [deflates the bag]

Freddy

Okay, Otis, she's hotwired and ready to go.

Otis

Nice job, buddy. Alright, Abby. Now put 'er in reverse, and give 'er some gas.

Abby

You got it! I'll try not to hit Mrs. Beady.

Otis

See, that's great. You're already thinking defensively. That's the first sign of a good--

MRS. BEADY?!!

Otis

[writing personal advertisement for the Farmer] Let's see now...Gloomy farmer seeking anyone with pulse. Hmm...We should hot it up a little.

Pip

Write he's rich. The ladies love cheddar.

Otis

[writing] Rich farmer.

Abby

And he got to have muscles!

Otis

[writing] Rich, beefcakey farmer.

Pig

Yes, but don't write farmer! Write [writing] exploding lion tamer.

Abby

Even more bulky! And write that he has a pony! [writing] Has a pony...

Otis

Okay, I will read it to you. Reflag 7-star number sign glare...Man, I wish we had fingers!

Pip

I can do it. [jumps on the keyboard] There, what do you think?

Otis

[reading] Wealthy, agricultural mogul with body of a Teutonic god wants to share his heart with you.