Farmer quotes from Back at the Barnyard

Farmer

Dang termites. Always chewing on some dang thing.

Farmer

How do you like your friends, Otis? Grilled or HONEY ROASTED?

Farmer

[missing his late wife] I'm not gonna cry... Yes, I am... [bawls hysterically]

Farmer

Tractor go boom.

Farmer

Weevils? The only bugs I truly fear! To the weevil shelter!

Farmer

(wakes up) Wow. That was the best birthday dream ever. (sees roses outside his door) Huh? (reads note) "Happy Birthday, Farmer. Signed Attractive Vet Lady"! Yippee-dee-doo! (falls on his back)

Farmer

At least you didn't say, "papaya." (throws a paint balloon)

Otis

Farmer! I can't believe you're not butter! I promise I'll never fool with hypnotism again.

Farmer

[freaked out] TALKING COW!

Otis

Maybe this one last time. [swings the watch in front of the farmer]

Farmer

[hypnotized] Pretty watch...

Farmer

Morning, sheep.

Freddy

Baa.

Peck

Baa.

Pig

Eh, bee-ee-ee. No, uh... Boo-oo-oo.

Farmer

Sounds like a case of the nervous woolies. [drags Pig away] This calls for drastic measures.

Pig

Uh... Bonsai! Bloopity! Bollywood!

Farmer

[crying] I can't believe no one showed up to my family reunion. The Buyer family has always been so close.

Otis

Buyer family? "Welcome Buyers..." Oh, milk me, his last name is Buyer! Guys, he wasn't gonna sell the farm.

Peck

You mean, we scared away his family?

Pip

How were we supposed to know his last name is Buyer?

Delivery for Mr. Buyer.

You've reached the Buyer residence.

Farmer

I'll get this stump out, or my name isn't Buyer, which it is. That's my name. My last name is Buyer. B-U-Y-E-R.

This is the FBI, Buyer! Come out with your hands up!

Farmer

You'll never take Farmer Buyer alive!

Otis

Yeah, we're not psychics.

Duke

[after calling Baxter on the phone] I'll show Baxter, I don't need the farmer, I got all the friends I need right here. So, uh, who wants to deworm me?

Otis

It's time to do the barn meeting. Listen guys, we can't let Baxter get away with this, we need to get him out of the house once we get Duke back inside, but for all these sakes.

Duke

If Baxter sets me up for good, the farmer won’t even take me back to another place.

Otis

Listen Duke, you just need to help the farmer get rid of Baxter until you save him from a bear.

Freddy

Ooh, i like where this is going.

Duke

It’s because i don’t know, Freddy.

Otis

Don’t worry, animals, won’t even be a real bear, it's going to be me in a bear costume that can make me dress like a bear, the farmer needs to take Baxter outside to take a walk every afternoon.

Freddy

I love that plan, Otis.

Otis

I didn’t say that yet, Freddy.

Freddy

I don’t know why i'm not confused.

Farmer

Okay Baxter, you lead the way. [Baxter barks; chuckles] What a cute little dickens. [suddenly, a real bear jumps out from behind a tree! Baxter screams] A bear! Get him, boy, get him! [Baxter circles around the farmer then pushes him toward the bear] Huh, what, don't, stop. Bad dog, what are you doing?

Duke

[watches them through binoculars] Look at Otis in that costume, here we go, it’s showtime. [charges straight towards the bear, wondering if it was Otis who was wearing the bear costume]

Farmer

[unharmed and surprised] Well done Duke, you saved my life, you saved me from the bear, i’m not going to kick you out. Can you just forgive me? [The farmer pets Duke's head just as Baxter approaches them, the farmer glares at him] And as for you, Baxter, look what you did to me, you threw me to the bear, bad dog, you're going back to the animal shelter to find a new home.

Goodbye Duke, this isn't over, i'll be back, you'll see, and then we'll- [gets yanked away]

Duke

Come on Otis, get up, the farmer is heading straight to the animal shelter before Baxter finds a new home, he can't recognize you in your costume.

Otis

[in a bear costume, approaches] Roar, roar, roar, roar, roar! [takes off the mask]Hello Duke, what happened? Where’s Baxter? Where’s the farmer?

Duke

The farmer sent Baxter back to the animal shelter. Who's that? Is that the real bear? [points to the real bear]

It’s time for a round two, sheepdog.

Duke

Wait, i can explain, you see, that other dog stole my identity in the previous episode, and recently returned to try it again.

Who are you? Professor Exposition?

Duke

Who? [the bear pounds him into the ground and leaves]'