Peck quotes from Back at the Barnyard

Peck

(comes in as a giant) Aw, poor guy. Here. Have a glass of warm milk.

Peck

But, Abby, how’d you know a mini version of you would lure Little Otis from the carrier?

Peck

Otis, we are so sick of this stupid game of yours!

Bessy

Yeah, I hope you're faster than a speeding butt-whoopin'!

Otis

Whoa, citizens no likey the Cowman.

Abby

Now, you listen, Otis, your idea to fight evil around the barnyard by becoming a superhero is just plain--

Freddy

Dumb! D-U-M-N-7-L, dumb!

Pip

Dude, there's no "L" in "dumb-7".

Peck

Now, explosives can be highly unpredictable, Freddy? You want to help me do a test run?

Freddy

You had me at "explosives".

Freddy

It's your birthday, make a mess.

Peck

It's your birthday, wear a dress.

Freddy

It's your birthday, you look swell...

Peck

It's your birthday, tip us well!

Otis

I just got a letter saying the Max Fripplehoot is coming here tonight!

Peck

The founder of of T.G.B. Fripplehoot's?

Freddy

I love the theme song! It's your birthday, make a mess, it's your birth-- [anguished] The birthday song has driven all other songs from my brain!

Otis

Alright, Abby, you ready for your first driving lesson?

Abby

I sure am.

Otis

Good. Now, the most important thing you wanna remember-

Abby

What's this button do? [presses the button]

Otis

Well, those are the windshield wipers.

Abby

Ooh! What's this? [honks the horn]

Otis

[irritated] Shhh, Mrs. Beady will hear you!

Pig

Can you crank the A/C? My thighs are stickin' to the seat.

Abby

Hey, what if I punch this real hard?

Otis

Don't-!

Freddy

AAAH! The car's inflating its giant stink sack!

Peck

Hang on, I got it. [deflates the bag]

Freddy

Okay, Otis, she's hotwired and ready to go.

Otis

Nice job, buddy. Alright, Abby. Now put 'er in reverse, and give 'er some gas.

Abby

You got it! I'll try not to hit Mrs. Beady.

Otis

See, that's great. You're already thinking defensively. That's the first sign of a good--

MRS. BEADY?!!

Otis

I can't believe no one's responded yet.

Peck

Now, now, Otis, you can't expect a miracle to just zoom up out of nowhere.

Freddy

[looks up into the sky with his hands out] You can't expect a plate of boneless chicken to just drop out of nowhere! ...I'M WAITING!

Freddy

I was born to pull ropes on cue.

Peck

I was born with this freckle.

Otis

Now that is what I call a grade A... [the egg blows up in his face] Uhhhh, what exactly did you put in the energy drink?

Bessy

Yogurt.

Peck

Vitamins.

Abby

Love.

Otis

And?

Freddy

[holding red sticks] And pepper!

Otis

[grabs the red sticks from Freddy] Those aren't pepper shakers. That's dynamite!

Farmer

Morning, sheep.

Freddy

Baa.

Peck

Baa.

Pig

Eh, bee-ee-ee. No, uh... Boo-oo-oo.

Farmer

Sounds like a case of the nervous woolies. [drags Pig away] This calls for drastic measures.

Pig

Uh... Bonsai! Bloopity! Bollywood!

Otis

This stinks, I can't see a thing! [notices a water tower] Hey, let's climb that water tower and get a better view.

Abby

I can see fine from here.

Freddy

Too high.

Otis

[imitates Pig] Good idea, Otis. [imitates Abby] Count me in! [imitates Freddy] I WANNA EAT PECK!!! [imitates Peck] What Freddy said was weird, but I also would like to climb that tower.

Pig

Well, since everyone else wants to.

Pip

I'm down.

Peck

Let's do it.

Freddy

You got it!

Abby

I'm in.

Otis

[grunts] Just a little bit higher, guys.

Otis

Pig?

Pig

Yeah.

Otis

Tell me that's your stomach.

Pig

Uh, it's not me.

Otis

Milk me.

Otis

Oh no, I smushed the circus!

Abby

Moo.

Pig

Oink, oink.

Peck

Cock-a-doodle... eh, doo.

Freddy

Ferret, ferret!

Peck

Where have you guys been? We're on live in 20 minutes.

Abby

Sorry, Peck. Freddy tossed the limo driver out of the car.

Freddy

I told him not to look me in the eye. And would you please refer to me by my new name, this? [shows an abstract symbol on a piece of paper]

Abby

[spits out bottled water] What is this?! I specifically requested spring water from a Peruvian glacier. This is from some other dumb glacier!

Pig

[enters] Greetings, all. I'd like you to meet my entourage.

'Sup?

Freddy

Hey! How come he gets an entourage?!

Abby

Pig, that's not an entourage, that's just an old goat.

Pig

Yeah, well, that's one more goat than you got, sweetheart.

Abby

I could've gotten a goat. [the three start arguing] I can get a goat! I can get a goat any time...

Pig

So go get one. I don't see you getting a goat.

Freddy

I repeat, how come...

Otis

[enters in a flashy suit, top hat, and sunglasses, speaking in a British accent] Ahem! Hello, mates. Are you all ready for tonight's telly broadcast? Huh? What-what? Big Ben. Fish and chips.

Abby

Otis, what are you talking like a pirate for?

Pig

And what's with the new clothes? You're gonna upstage everyone!

Otis

Sorry, blokes. I can't hear ya. As it turns out, I'm a huge rock star, right on!

Freddy

Don't look me in the eyes.

Pip

Great stuff. Great stuff!

Peck

STOP IT!!! Just look at what success has done to us! [sobs] I thought we were all friends. I thought each of us contributed to our sound. Are you too self-centered to see that stardom... [voice breaking] ...is tearing us apart?

Pig

I'm sorry, what do you play again?

Otis

[normal voice] It's a thing that makes a noise. Why, it's clangy, is it?

Pig

Give us the first letter.

Abby

Is it a tuba?

Otis

Is it made out of a car?

Pip

I can rewind the tape.

Abby

Is it bigger than a breadbox?

Otis

Oh, it's a breadbox!

Peck

[fed up] That's it, I'm outta here! And I'm taking my triangle... with me!

Freddy

Oh, I got it! It's a triangle!

Pig

Triangle. Oh...

Abby

That was it!

Otis

Wait! Peck, come on, don't run out on us now! [the door slams]

Pig

Those breadbox players are real whackjobs, aren't they?

Pip

Expensive, too.

Peck

Your parents are great, Fred! They were just giving me the most wonderful steam bath.

Freddy

Actually, Peck, they were about to cook you and eat you.

Peck

Well, sure. They were about to--[yells in shock] WITH THE COOKING AND THE EATING!!!

Son, why are you calling tonight's dinner "Peck"?

Freddy

Guys, I have something to tell you.

Otis

Freddy...

Freddy

It's okay, Otis. I'm done lying. Mom, Dad, Peck isn't dinner. He's my best friend. And I'm not a voracious chicken-eater! I'm a vegetarian! [his parents gasp] And if you can't deal with that, then I say good day, sir! And Mrs. Sir.

[angrily] Frederick, get over here right NOW... [warmly] ...and give your old man a hug.

Freddy

[hugs his father] You mean, you're not ashamed of me?

Oh, honey, of course we are.

Ashamed and disgraced.

And don't forget humiliated.

We'll probably have to change our names.

And I'm sure our neighbors will pelt us with trash.

I know I would.

But as long as you're happy, dear, I guess we could learn to live with it.

I suppose we owe your friend an apology. Sorry we almost ate you, Peck.

Peck

Ah, I can't stay mad at you guys.

Freddy

Group hug! [hugs his parents and Peck]

Otis

Okay, whoa, whoa, just whoa! Hold up. [to Freddy] Your parents eat farm animals, [to Freddy's parents] your kid is a vegetarian, [to Peck] your best friend's parents just tried to EAT you, AND YOU'RE ALL COOL WITH THAT?!

Freddy

Uh-huh.

Peck

Yep.

Sure are!

Pretty much.

Otis

Sweet, just checkin'.

Peck

Why, it sounds like a heavenly angel.

Freddy

Or a bewitching sorceress luring us to our doom!

Otis

Hey, maybe the angel and the sorceress had a kid.

Freddy

You mean a sorcer-angel?

Otis

No, more like an angel-ress.