Mamá always said, "Ramón, un hombre real debe saber cocinar." ["A real man should know how to cook"]
Mine always said, "Sterling, come in here and check me for lumps." Holy shit, was that out loud?
Archer · Season 1
Mamá always said, "Ramón, un hombre real debe saber cocinar." ["A real man should know how to cook"]
Mine always said, "Sterling, come in here and check me for lumps." Holy shit, was that out loud?
From the looks of it, and not to mention the lemur, I would hazard he's taking a personal day.
I'm afraid the lemur got into the pudding cups.
Yeah, like I told you he would! You idiot!
I think that's hot, like somebody murdering me is so... intimate.
[Later, discussing her fetish]
You seriously don't think that's hot?
I seriously think you're scary.
No no no no, like, a big, sweaty fireman carries you out of a burning building, lays you on the sidewalk and you think, "yeah, okay, he's gonna give me mouth-to-mouth", but instead he just starts choking the shit out of you, and the last sensation that you feel before you die is he is squeezing your throat so hard that a big, wet, blob of drool drips off his teeth and just, flurp, falls right onto your popped-out eyeball.
[Awkward pause]
Jesus Christ!
We bought those for him and if you throw them off the roof I will fly to New York and fling acid in your face.
Out macho a gay guy? Oh my stars!
Hmm, or you could be a sarcastic bitch your whole life.
Okay, we're off to get our scrotums waxed!
Yeah? Well, I'm dangerous and I'm going to win and GAY SEX!
So, are you two even really gay!?
As big ol' tangerines, yes.
How do you say "The Hulk" in Spanish?
"El Hulk".
Gay.
What? We don't have a word for "Hulk".
Do you have a word for "gay"?
Gay.
Gayer! Jesus, Spanish! Our jobs aren't enough; now you gotta take our words?
[Stifling laughter] Woodhouse: he's all tied up somewhere, sc-scared and alone. PROBABLY DEHYDRATED!
Cyril, c'mon. Worst case scenario, her cover got blown and Skorpio's raping her senseless before he chops her battered corpse up into fish food.
You know, I think we're making some real progress.
Where, in opposite world? We're never gonna finish all this!
We could, if certain people would help!
[Standing behind stacked cardboard boxes] I'm sorry, are you addressing me? Because your authority is not recognized in Fort Kickass.
I moved in with my last girlfriend after four weeks!
What are you? A lesbian?
And that's the reason I never have sex with my coworkers. That... and no one ever lets me.
I've had good results with ether.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Archer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.