I know, right? Totally McQueen!!
S2 E1Swiss Miss
I'm from Germany, where the age of consent is 14.
What is it, the Alabama of Europe?
In many ways, yes.
Fuck you, Switzerland
Was that before or after you got caught fondling a teenager?
Well, obviously before; after was all gendarmes and dick stitches.
I saved her life! Go ask that dick I set on fire.
Are you insane?!
No. Just incredibly Pissed Off!
That's no fun! Then you don't get to squirt that hot white cream all over your face!
Why aren't you with Gillette?!
S2 E2A Going Concern
Trust me, you can't control a person's heart.
You can with a little thing I call a deep cycle marine battery. [pause] Or LSD.
Is that what you've been giving me?
...Yes.
I just thought they were breath strips!
...So don't try to do anything stupid.
I don't have to try [pause] Shit, whatever. Move. [walks away]
These are from a doctor!
So? Krieger's a doctor.
Not the medical kind!
Not even the other kind, technically.
[Krieger demonstrates the mind control chip in a rabbit]
Freaky!
You wanna know what's freaky? Guess what I already named that bunny.
Rabbert Klein?
Wow. That's... actually better.
It's all yours.
[talking about a mind control chip placed in a rabbit] Can you put it in a person's brain?
[pause] It'd suffocate...
Not the rabbit, idiot; the chip.
Oh, yes. Absolutely.
Without killing the person?
Oh. [pause] Maybe?
[Archer is explaining the plan using dolls on a floorplan of ISIS]
Why do we have so many damn dolls?
For sexual harassment complaints. So people can non-verbally indicate where stuff happened on their body.
That takes, like, one doll!
Not if there's ever a gang rape.
[Cheryl smiles and nods]
Cyril, better pill up; you're assisting Krieger with the surgery.
Why me?
You're good at math.
How's that supposed to help?
Can't hurt.
But don't touch it. Lysergic acid can be absorbed right through the skin. Even the tip of your finger can... [Krieger accidentally touches the strip] oops.
Oh, for fuck's sake, Krieger! You're about to perform brain surgery!
'Krieger: Yeah... So sooner's going to be better than later.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Archer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.