What a hunk
Total sploosh.
Yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
And whatever my equivalent of sploosh is. Which I guess is just sploosh. Only with semen.
S3 E1Heart of Archness: Part I
So excuse me for needing some time to grieve.
By tending bar and banging newly weds?
Apparently that's my grieving process.
A ruse? Hi, it's the 1930s. Can we have our words and clothes and shitty airplane back?
Let's go, kid.
Call you back, 1930s. And, hey, watch out for that Adolf Hitler. He's a bad egg.
PPirate Captain
What a hell, dumb guy?
You just killed like ten pirates.
Wow, if the five year old me knew that, he'd get a huge boner.
After briefing the photogenic bounty hunter, Rip Riley
What a hunk!
Total sploosh.
Yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
Everyone else looks towards Ray, waiting for him to say something.
...and whatever my equivalent of sploosh is. Which I guess is just sploosh. Only with semen.
But if the emergency beacon is going off -- oh my God, their plane crashed!
(gasps) I said that would happen and it did! What if I have psycho-kinetic powers?!
I dunno, just try to only use em for good.
....no.
S3 E2Heart of Archness: Part II
Noah, I'm half drunk and slathered in every bodily fluid there is... so yeah... this is about as Pirate Kingy as I'm going to get so brief away... Noah... Good Morning.
S3 E3Heart of Archness: Part III
NNoah
Can I just run up to my hovel real quick and get the only extant copy of my dissertation?
Noah, I've still got four bullets.
NNoah
Oh God! Do you know what ‘extant' means?!
Do you know what ‘License to kill' means?
NNoah
... I'll write another one.
What's your blood type?
How should I know?
How could you NOT know?
Who am I, Karl Landsteiner?
[Archer's team have just lost a pub quiz, thanks to Pam]
Your exact words, Pam: “Dr Charles Drew or I will eat a bag of dicks”!
[Belch] Bring ‘em!
BBucky
You will never make it to the helicopter. My men will cut you down like dogs!
Thanks, Human Shield.
S3 E4The Man from Jupiter
BUUUURT REYNOLDS! IS ON LINE ONNNNNEEEE!!!!
And just how long has he been your hero?
Since ever!
[Scene cuts to a flashback where a younger Archer is dressed as the Bandit, running around in a cardboard box with markings like the Trans Am in the movie Smokey and the Bandit]
[Singing] Eastbound and dowwwwwn!
[Scene cuts back to Archer and Mallory]
I thought that was Richard Petty.
Which doesn't even merit a response.
[Pam and Cheryl are looking at pictures of Burt Reynolds online]
I swear to god, you could drown a toddler in my panties right now! ... Not that you would.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Archer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.