TPTV Puppet
This is your left, that's your left. This is your left, that's your left. This is your right, that's your right. This is your right, you're gonna die.
“The Cloning” · Season 2
In this episode: Master Shake (9), Meatwad (9), Frylock (4), Carl (1)
Man. This is some good TV right here. [wakes up Shake who is sleeping on the chair] Hey hey hey.
[yawning] What?
You missin' some good TV.
Change it.
I ain't changin this. This is the best.
[pulls out a flaming arrow] Change it.
To what? Come on, this is good.
Why don't we let the arrow decide.
Aw don't do that- [Shake fires the flaming arrow at the TV] AW COME ON!
[TV explodes]
And now it's changed. The changeling.
[from bedroom] What was that?! What's going on?
What do you think it was?!
It was you boy.
[goes to an empty closet] What the- Hey! This closet was full of TVs last time I checked and now there's none.
'Cause you keep breakin' 'em.
'Cause you keep pissing me off so bad! You should be lucky I direct my anger at the media, and not your buttocks!
Yeah, Frylock, please. Make us a TV. I mean look at me. How else am I gonna face the day? I ain't got no job, my wife left me, bills pilin' up, I got child support payments, and I have no idea if what I said's true. But I believe it.
He is right.
We needs to dull our senses.
[Shake shoves the TV off the stand and it jumps up]
Whoa damn. Did you just see that?!
No, we didn't see it. Everything's fine. Now just SHUT UP and go control it.
[Shake attempts to hit the TV with a bat and it jumps again]
Damn! Did you just see that?!
I'm not in the business of seeing whatever pleases you. [chases after TV] Get back here you son of a...
Well I'm in business. [to himself] The business of kicking your ass. And let me tell you, business is booming. I'm open for business. Business of giving you the business...up your butt... [looks up and sees Shake looking at him] Did you hear me say that?
You looking to expand your business?
[starts running] Business is closed! Business is closed!
[The TV is chained to the stand]
Alright! 's what's called taking command of the situation! Meatwad... you turn it on.
I ain't going near that TV, boy! I think that thing's alive!
[sternly] Go over there, get close to it, and touch it to turn it on.
What'll you give me?
Six months to a year. And brother, you are dead!
[A show with Shake on it is playing on the TV]
Look at that thing! You on the TV.
Well, uh... you know, I've been on TV a lot. See, this... oh, yeah, sure, this is my sitcom with a-
ETEvil TV Shake
I'm in your house.
...with a science-fiction horror twist. It's called...uh...
What's it called?
I don't know, shut up. I'm-I'm trying to hear my lines.
[Evil TV Shake stares at the camera]
...the hell is this?
Well, you said this is your sitcom? With the sci-fi horror twist? That's never been done before.
Yeah, I know, I just don't remember filming this episode. I can tell my instincts are strong in this scene though, and I got a lot of motivation.
PTPsychotic TV Frylock
[during Shake's sitcom] I'm the one who's sorry, OK? I'm sorry I made the cheerleading squad and you didn't.
[Audience members say "awwwwwwwwwwww!"]
ETEvil TV Shake
It's OK. You were the better cheerleader.
PTPsychotic TV Frylock
Well, I wasn't no slouch. Did you see me do those cartwheels?
[canned laughter]
[laughs] I identify with that.
ETEvil TV Shake
OK, OK, don't rub it in...
[canned laughter]
[laughs] And there's the zinger...
PTPsychotic TV Frylock
OK, then how about I blow it in?
[shoots him]
ETEvil TV Shake
Wha -
Shake! Damn!
WHAT DO YOU WANT!?!?!?!??!??!?!?!?!?!?
Something's wrong with that TV!
There's nothing wrong with that TV.
[The TV, chained to the stand, begins spraying blood]
Okay, something's wrong with the TV.
You can't use the cloner to counterfeit money, Shake.
Look, we will discuss this when I feel like it. Right now, I gotta go get a new Camaro, 'cause that's where the shit is, baby!
[as Shake leaves with a bag full of bills] There are limits to how much you can clone. Matter breaks down over time!
[heading out] Blah, blah, blah, blah, I'm sorry I'm not fluent in Dorkinese!
Hmmm, well, on the other hand, I could use this to feed all the hungry children of the world. Yeah, with my new chain of family-style restaurants. [Puts dollars into the cloner and the money piles up] Oh, yeah. Oh, hell, yeah! [Phone rings] Yeah, I'm busy. What?
CCarl
Hey, Fryman. Ordinarily, I wouldn't call you 'cause I don't like you, but you're on the TV, man. [Psychotic TV Frylock puts a six-pack on the floor] Check out channel...666. That's weird.
Look, Carl, I don't have time...
CCarl
Whoa! Hang on, I'm on it now! That is me. [Psychotic TV Frylock high-fives TV Carl and hands him the beer] Awesome! Awesome! Friggin' awesome! I'm on TV! I look pretty good. Chicken skin diet's really paying off for me. [Psychotic TV Frylock, after a toast, shoots TV Carl] Oh, God. You stay far away from this house. Do you hear me?! Far away!
Frylock, get away from the money. The genetic structure is breaking down. It needs to be analyzed...at the Camaro dealership.
Hey, I want some of that! I provided the seed money.
[drops three dollars in front of Meatwad] Here. You tripled your investment. Now take a dirt nap.
Who let the hippie in here? I got news for you, pal: The dead are dead, okay? So maybe what you're looking for is soap, which is at the grocery store. You know, food you don't have to pick?
Shake...
They sell meat there...
Uh, Shake?
...and while you're at it --
Shake!
Now! Shut up! I'm talking to him!
He's George Washington!
GWGeorge Washington
[sighs] I am.
Well, what the hell is he doing next to my Benjamins?
GWGeorge Washington
I have come bearing a message. Great Britain sought taxes from the colonies, and they paid for their greed with blood. Now, do you understand the price of avarice?
Take him out.
GWGeorge Washington
Wait! NO! [Frylock shoots him repeatedly with a shotgun]
[holding gun to his own head, with several smoking holes] I done took him out didn't I?
Yeah... you really took him out...
I knew I took him out..hee hee yeah! Hey, did I take him out?
Ah, we should have cloned twenties. Jackson wouldn't have given a shit.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Aqua Teen Hunger Force pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.