Gentlemen, be-
Uhh, you know, you can just call me Steve. I mean, there's no one else here.
[An old Hanna Barbara swamp creature suddenly appears behind Steve]
Right?
MY MIND!
“Ol' Drippy” · Season 1
In this episode: Master Shake (8), Meatwad (6), Frylock (6), Carl (4), Dr. Weird (1), Steve (1), Schoolly D (1)
You ever hear of a refrigerator, or a frickin' trash can?!
No.
You got three raw chickens in here on the floor! A dog wouldn't even take a crap in here!
Look, just take the hose and lightly spray everything out the back door.
No, no MY ASS, YOU WILL!
Drape a tarp over it.
Oh no you're not! You're gonna go to the damn store and get some cleaning supplies!
What's goin' on?
Look at this mess! Did you do this? [long pause] Fine, alright!. I'll do it, but it's my decision to do this, I declare it.
Yo, man. I think that mold is a-movin'. If it move one more time, I’m gettin' my gat.
This here's Vanessa. I know she looks like an apple, but she's actually a full-grown woman, and she fell in love with her boyfriend, Dewey, here, and they go off into outer space and then they... they get married.
(angrily enters the house) Where's Meatwad?!
What're you doing with that gutter?
What're you doin' with that beard, huh? Answer that, scientist!
My telescope! And you've ruined it! How will I ever see the stars again?
This ain't no telescope, it's Dewey. He's an engineer, and he works on the Supertrain.
He does what?! You've got mental problems. [Hits Meatwad repeatedly with gutter] Taste the chrome!
ODOl' Drippy
[walking in with the "doll"] What's it taste like?
Your mother's... [sees Ol' Drippy for the first time] AAAHHHH, MONSTER!!!
CCarl
Did you see a woman in a bikini with a six-pack of beer and a surfboard come in here?
Was it made of cardboard, used to be up at the liquor store?
CCarl
Uhh...no.
CCarl
You two-timin' bitch!
CCarl
Ohhh, she smells like dead mushrooms and cheeseburger meat.
ODOl' Drippy
Idle hands spend time at the genitals, and you know how much God hates that.
[Frylock has suggested that Shake be "polite"; Shake intentionally knocks Ol' Drippy's latte out of his "hand".]
[sarcastically] Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to knock that out of your hand, I don't know what came over me! There, was that polite enough for you, Frylock?! I'm apologizing to your best friend in the whole universe!
Shake, what is wrong with you?
What's wrong with you? Hey, why don't you go kiss your new best friend, you love him so damn much! I'm the one who cleaned the kitchen. I'm the authority!
CCarl
[at the door] Someone wanna tell me why my pool is full of hotdog chunks and dirty dishes?
Oh Carl, you didn't mess with it did ya? Cause it's gotta set up for a couple days with the battery.
CCarl
The battery?
Yeah, you know, the one from your car. I dumped some shampoo in there too, but it's dog shampoo so I dunno if it's gonna work, but were prayin' like hell that it does.
CCarl
No, no, no, I understand, I understand. I'm just gonna go, I'll be back in a few. You uh, you think that the gun store is still open?
ODOl' Drippy
Carl, please, I'll take care of the mess. He means well, he's just a little... well, I'd better not say.
What? I'm a little what?
CCarl
Thank you, Drippy. You are very well-mannered and very nice. [To Master Shake] And you oughta take lessons from him!
[agreeing with Carl] That's right!
[agreeing with both Frylock and Carl] Yeah, Shake. That's right!
Oh yeah, he's nice now, but don't come looking for me when he's burying your bodies out in the desert.
Well, get out of here! What are you waiting on? I’m gonna chase you outta here!
[Making a post-and-lintel structure out of sofa cushions] That’s good. Okay, that’s all right. That looks good. Hey, who says I couldn’t do this, huh?[Lightning strikes the sofa cushions apart] AAAAHHH! Let me in! Will you let me in, dammit! I mean, guys! Hey-hey! Somebody wanna let me in, please?[Frylock goes to open the door for Shake]
Well, Shake! I thought you moved.
What?! I never said that! Who said that!?(He starts coughing)
ODOl Drippy
Oh my. You’re burning up.
Yes, I’m very... sick.(He coughs some more)
ODOl Drippy
Frylock, he needs medical help.
He needs an ass-whooping is what he needs.
ODOl Drippy
There’s no time! Here Shake, eat my head!
Here! Kiss my ass! Forget about it!!
ODOl Drippy
I’m serious. Coat me with ranch. Chase me with cheese if you must, I don’t care. It’s the only way.
Drippy, don’t! What are you doing?
Don’t do that, that’s going to hurt you!
ODOl Drippy
I’m saving his life! I’m half penicillin!
Well, I have some penicillin in my lab if that’s what this is all about.
ODOl Drippy
Oh, really? Well then, just give him some of that man, I mean-
No, wait. Now, hold on a minute, I- I kind of like the taste of your head. I mean, you said it was the only way, right?(coughs again)
Where are you going, Drippy? I- I love you!
ODOl Drippy
I'm going away for a while, Meatwad. And I may never come back. But I'll always be here, inside.
Yeah, in my stomach, baby.
ODOl' Drippy
Close your eyes, Meatwad. [Shake takes a big bite out of Ol' Drippy] AAH!
Leave your eyes open, Meatwad. I wanna horrify you into a coma.
[Shake is eating fried chicken in the pool after Drippy got hit by a truck while saving his life]
Look...he pushed me.
FFryock
He pushed you out of the way of that truck.
Listen...he's in a better place.
He's in the grill of the truck!
He was my best friend.
Ah, well then you should know something. When he was pushing me...he mentioned something about not liking you.
Ah, man.
I clearly heard it.
Did he really?
That stuck out.
Well...I guess I'll have one of those wings then. Gimme one.
[Throws a wing towards Meatwad] Here, fetch.
Where's the meat?! This is a bone!
Go make a doll out of that!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Aqua Teen Hunger Force pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.