[Shake is frantically pressing the thermostat]
How do I get this to be cold?! I keep pressing it and pressing it and pressing it, and it won't get cold now!
[Frylock checks the thermostat.]
Frylock242 degrees?! Man, that's insane!
That's what I've been sayin' for the last hour and a half, while you've been "Dreamin' of Jeanie."
Frylock
Dammit, I think we're gonna have to freakin' call the landlord. The compressor's on the fritz again.
Well, he...he may be gone. I...I wouldn't go out there.
Frylock
[As we see that the outside background is melting] And why not?!
Watch this. [Flings a skillet out the front door, causing it to explode almost immediately]
That was my Alton Brown saucepot! I use it to make my Balsamic Reduction! Dammit! … You've seen me do it.
Frylock
Shake! You left that grill on, didn't you?
[looks outside] Oh... uh... no!
Frylock
Well then, why is it on?!
I don't know... uh... it's in "self-cleaning" mode!
Frylock
No, I think it's on "create-a-hole-in-the-ozone" mode, Shake!
Well, we got all that cream cheese we won at the fair. Can you tan through that?
Master Shake [dramatic music plays] ...It's worth a shot.
And it may be the only shot we have...
[Shake and Meatwad are rubbing the cream cheese on their bodies]
Frylock
Or we could just shut the fucking grill off!
[Treading water] Phew. Feel that cool water. So soothing!
Yeah. Feel that polar bear chewing on my head up here. [We see this is actually happening]
Frylock
Oh my God! This is a melted polar cap!
Uh, no, no. Polar caps are traditionally cold. And this... [The water begins to boil] ew, this is starting to get hot. [The grill is still running] Aw, hell.
Frylock
We've got to get to that grill.
I know. You've said it like 93 times!
Mex—Mexicans! They'll do it! They'll do anything! Who here knows Spanish?
Carl may. His hair is dark.
That's a good thought. I'm gonna ask him.
What is this dissension in the ranks? Someone refuses to blow.
[grabs crotch] Oh no, I got somethin' you can blow all right.
Frylock
Carl, no.
WELL, WHY IS HE THE KING?!
[shoves Carl aside] Uh...because he is the smartest and best...looking, and his wisdom lead us to this great utopia, isn't that right, handsome master?
Yeessss, that is correct. Mucus minions, congest him, at once!
Frylock
No, Meatwad. Please.
[Two mucus men surround him] Ah, that takes two of ya. Let's go.
[Carl is immediately congested]
I remember that one time you was in the bathroom...with that magazine. 'Cept that we ain't got no bathroom, so you know. And we all know what you was doing...
[Start Flashback]
Frylock
I'll show ya stars! Take this! [shoots lasers and hits wall, revealing Shake]
Wait! What I'm doing in here is private!
[End Flashback]
Oh man! Back then I was so self-conscious about my body. You know, Frylock wanted to fix that hole but I said no. And now, I like it when people watch.
I still can't figure out what you're doing with yourself.
Frylock
Remember when I save both of y'all's asses?
[A flashback starts, with 'Party Party Party' playing, Frylock destroying the RainbowMaker 4000 from "Escape from Leprechapolis", then a clip from "Super Squatter" is shown]
Frylock
He needs medical attention.
[A clip from "PDA" is shown]
Well, I guess I'm satisfied then
Frylock
Breathe, damn it!
[Meatwad coughs, then A clip from "Frat Aliens" where D.P. is tied to a rocket and Frylock lights it up and launches into Carl's house, the security system slaughter D.P., A clip from "Super Birthday Snake" where Frylock destroys Nathan Scott Phillips with a fireball, A clip from "The Clowning" where Frylock freezes Carl, A clip from "Dusty Gozongas" where Frylock freezes the blue flame pipes]
Wait no, those are awesome!
[A clip from "Balloonstein" whete Frylock throws a broken glass covered Meatwad, A clip from "The Dressing" where Frylock and Meatwad drag a curtain covered Turkitron]
TTurkitron
Fine. I'm not spinning, don't touch--
You son of a- [Kicks Turkitron
[A clip from "MC Pee Pants" where the place explodes and blows away MC Pee Pants, A clip from "The Cloning" is shown]
GWGeorge Washington
Wait no!
Frylock
[shoots George Washington with a shotgun, A clip from "Boost Mobile" where two boost mobile phones fall into a pitfall] Meatwad. [Meatwad throws a big boulder to cover the pitfall, A clip from "Universal Remonster" where Frylock unplugs one of the wires.] There we go. [A clip from "Interfection" Where Frylock uses eye lasers to blow up pop-up ad for the tin]
[A clip from "Super Hero" where Frylock uses eye lasers to blow up three mutant worms, A clip from "Rabbot" where Frylock beams Carl up and drops him flat on his back on his roof, Another clip from "PDA" where a gigantic food crushes Frylock, A clip from "Mayhem of the Moonites" where Frylock pins Err and Ignignokt down the road]
[A clip from "The Last One" where Frylock kills Happy Time Harry, A clip from "Super Sirloin" where MC Pee Pants as Sir Lion gets shredded alive, A clip from "Robositter" where the Robositter gets liquified, A clip from "T Shirt of the Dead" where Frylock blasts the Easter Bunny's face off, A clip from "Video Oujia" where Frylock kills Billy Witch Doctor, A clip from "Revenge of the Trees" where Frylock destroys one of the trees and grabs Carl]
Frylock
Come on, let's go! [The montage freeze frames]
Well, you put that whole thing over the rock music, huh?
Look, yes, I have banged hundreds of broads, internationally, but know this, I wrap my rascal TWO times cause I like it to be joyless and without sensation, as a way of punishing supermodels.
Frylock
Yeah well, let's see what a DNA test would say about that.
Oh, that's where it starts. Then pretty soon he's gonna want 65 cents for bus fare, liquor for his stomach. You know, I counsel dog in better shape than you. Free-jacking all around here like you're Mick Jagger. [to Ezekiel, he is about to cry] Listen! Why don't you hustle on down to the soup kitchen, Mick?
WAAAAAA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAH!!!
[Ezekiel runs outside crying]
Frylock
Wait a minute, wait!
Frylock
Come back! Little shake.
[gets in the car seat and buckles up while crying] Daddy no want me! I'm gonna take a bus to Reno!
Frylock
Oh no, that won't do. Why don't you just stay with us untill you old enough the leave home.
Hooray! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Hoo-ray!
{Sarcastically} Yeah. Huzzah.
I wanna name him. Can I name him?
No! He's my son! And...NO! No he's NOT my son! Nobody can prove that!
I wanna name you Jesus... Ezekial... Jesus, and that's from the bible.
Frylock
That's a good name, Ezekial.
Ezekiel! I am Ezekial! That is me! Ezekial is—I am!
Frylock
Where's Carl's brain?
CBCarl Brain
I am Carl Brain.
Frylock
No, Carl's brain.
CBCarl Brain
I am Carl Brain.
Frylock
No no no no no, different-different Carl, okay!?
CBCarl Brain
...I am Carl Brain.
Frylock
My friend Carl! His brain!
Is that Carl's brain? Over there, on the expressway?
CBCarl Brain
Beware, for it will immediately seize you upon my command, and your mind will be enslaved to forever...polish the chrome at this wash...Car Wash.
Frylock
...This is retarded.
CJCarl Jr
Oh! He called you retarded daddy!
CBCarl Brain
Stop him! At once! (pause) From calling me retarded!
CJCarl Jr
Too late, he got away with it.
EWEarl Weaver
It's a bomb!
GPGhost of Paul Revere
Guy, it's a freaking light.
EWEarl Weaver
Guy, it's a motherfucking, cocksucking bomb!
GPGhost of Paul Revere
It's a freaking light!
GPGhost of Paul Revere
Light!
GPGhost of Paul Revere
Light!
GPGhost of Paul Revere
Light!
GPGhost of Paul Revere
Light!
GPGhost of Paul Revere
Light!
CHCast of Hairspray
It's a bomb!
EWEarl Weaver
Will you shut the fuck up! You stupid, shit-eating cast of the musical Hairspray! Bunch of faggot motherfuckers!
GPGhost of Paul Revere
Look, seriously? It's just a light.
EWEarl Weaver
No! YOU look, seriously! It's a fucking bomb!
GPGhost of Paul Revere
Oh, my freaking God! It's a bomb!
CHCast of Hairspray
It's a bomb!
GPGhost of Paul Revere
Get the freak out of here, dude! Hey, hey! Sox rule!
Bomb, light, whatever. It's just a hoax.
Frylock
Shake, a hoax is a humorous or malicious deception and this is clearly not that.
I don't care! You can't make us leave! [Cut to the house] Damn it! They made us leave!
Frylock
Well, at least we made some money.
No, I spent it all, on this!
Aqua Teen Hunger Force · 785 quotes
