Frylock quotes from Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Frylock

Hi, this is, Frylock. Sorry, we can't come to the phone right now as we're currently being cocooned by military spiders in the Mojave Desert. At the sound of the tone-

Shake

"At the 'sound' of the tone"? Wouldn't it just be "at the tone"?

Frylock

Shut up, Shake. I like to be thorough.

Shake

A lot of time, these Korean capacitors can't take this many ohms, and then double the problems when you're trying to defrost somebody's kitty cat in there.

Someone's kitty cat? WHOSE kitty cat?

Shake

Whose do ya think?

Yours?

Shake

(picks up a cat) This is Mr. Sparkles. He is a magician and he is NOT to be touched!

Well then whose kitty cat are we talkin' here?

Shake

Well do the math. You had one, now you have none. What does that equal?

(pause) Terrence, NO!

Shake

Terrence— BOOOOM!!

Terrence! My... (sniffles) skinless love...

Shake

I am the king! (chuckles)

Frylock

Oh, yeah, and the KING is going to sleep out in the yard tonight.

Shake

The grass? That is not a slumber chamber fit for a king!

Frylock

He was a fine pet, good friend, and he was very cherished and...what was he?

It's a SHE, thank you, and his name was Terrence.

Frylock

Oh, sorry, Meatwad, yes, SHE, and now she's gone. Her life (sniffle) snuffed out in its prime — oh, my God, what is that smell?

Shake

I'll tell you what. It's called Carl. Right there, where he dropped that deuce!

Shake

You're not gonna be able to stop him now.

Frylock

What do you mean?

It's called Reedickyoulous. Ain't you never seen the ad on TV? "Hey, baby, come by to PICK you up later," only it ain't "pick" they sayin'. It's another word that sounds like "pick", but it's like an inverted p at the beginning, so, you know, it's a different word that sounds like "pick", but it ain't the word "pick". It's a different word...

Frylock

I get it, I get it.

Shake

Then get it — get me one.

Frylock

What does it do?

Shake

It lengthens, strengthen, hardens, girthens, straightens, satisfies, and fully pleasures your crotch.

Frylock

It doesn't look safe.

Shake

It's not — they've been sued many times, but women don't get turned on by safe. They crave danger.

Yeah, they want a man who'll try anything, no matter how disreputable the company.

Frylock

Look at this! It's melted straight through the floor!

Shake

Don't bring that shit in my house!

Frylock

The radioactive mercury isotopes are off the charts. Do you know what this means?

Shake

Yeah. It means new carpets, bitch!

Frylock

Hell, yeah, it does! Gimme some!

Shake

(he has a cigarette in his mouth and ready to smoke) Let's all smoke some cigarettes to celebrate.

Frylock

No, Shake! The gas leak!

Shake

All right (throws his cigarette away), MOM!

(Meatwad answers the door and sees zombie animals) It's a reunion. Group hug.

Frylock

Meatwad back away! There all zombified.

Shake

(Comes out and notices the gorilla) When did you get a gorilla?

Oh, you don't remember this guy? back in '02. I got tired of always loosing them hamsters you know. So I splurged, 'get me a gorilla'.

(Speaking in grunts and sign language) Yeah, you don't remember? Shoving me into a microwave?

Shake

(Now a zombie, Returning after sex with the zombie ape) Do I have a big smile on my face? Oh, I'll never kiss and tell...but I pounded that ape, twice...

Frylock

Meatwad, back away.

Shake

Yeah, and bow down to the king of ape sex!

Frylock

I'm sorry you had to see that, Meatwad, but in order to kill a zombie, you have to separate the brain from the spine.

Shake

(bottom portion standing up) Hey, I just heard, like, a pop, did you hear that?

Frylock

Goddamn Wikipedia!

Frylock

What's your point?

Shake

I never had one. And that just drives you crazy, doesn't it?

[with head sticking through arm hole, talking on phone] Well, just clamp the main artery, and I'll be there as soon as I can. [Chatter on other end] Look, it's standard brain-replacement surgery. I do them in my sleep. [Chatter] What do you mean, what am I doing? I'm getting my groove on. I have a life outside of brain surgery. That's just what I do for a living. It doesn't define me. It doesn't make me a bad surgeon. [Chatter] Oh, but furry bunny hands make me a bad surgeon? It may be weird to you, but it is my religion. [Notices Frylock staring at him, hangs up, and gets back inside the costume] What the hell do you want?

Frylock

What have you done to Carl?

We've unleashed him! You know you want a piece.

Frylock

A piece of what?

A piece of the animal!

Frylock

Shake, wait. You can't overuse them. They'll do serious damage to your eyes.

Shake

Wow. You know what? (zaps Frylock) BOO-YAH! I will totally annihilate that bridge when I come to it, and, I'm not real happy about your tone right now.

Frylock

Meatwad, did you get the key?

(shoots lasers at the tree) I got what I need, and now I'm gonna tell you what I want. (shoots lasers again) Yeah! That looked good!

Oh, Meatman... you took his friggin eyeballs out. That's intense!

Frylock

Yeah, you didn't have to take his eyes out man! Damn!

(chuckling) Yeah, I did.

Shake

(Comes out and has two empty eye sockets) Okay, fools! I have re-energised, and you will be receiving the dividends of my constant laser spanking. Where are you? And I'm only going to ask that once. And my second question is, where the hell are my eyeballs?

Y'know, you oughta just go ahead and get the corrective surgery.

Frylock

I heard it messes with your night vision, y'know.

I've heard good things about it, though. Think: not having to have that saline, not having to keep up with glasses...

Master Shake

Listen, the technology's improved: it's hard to say no to!

Frylock

Ehh, it's so EXPENSIVE, though...

Yeah, but it's been going down the past couple of years. This one cousin of mine- you know Terry? He-he ain't a medical doctor- he's self-taught, though. He passes the savings onto you.

Markula

Fryman, this could all go away if you would simply pay me for October...and YOU fix the gas leak!

Shake

I'm not fixing that gas leak for me or anyone else, you son of a bitch!

Frylock

Save it Shake.

Markula

Yes, save it, for tomorrow it won't matter when we play pin the tail on the Shake, and we bob for meatballs, and then we'll play ignore the Fryman.

I'm playin' it right now.

Master Shake

Leave it to me.

Master Shake

And clearly ladies and gentleman my little wooden friend is torched. And yet, where did he go? Voila! (Dummy appears in lion's mouth) Thank You! Thank you very much! And the gorilla says "You mean the one that fucked' ya up the ass?" and the lion says...

Why? Did it already make the papers?

Master Shake

That's exactly what he said, you son of a bitch! Thank you! We got a million of 'em.

Master Shake

This is huge for me! You know I'm the star, right?

Frylock

Oh, yeah, man, we're real proud of you Shake-

Master Shake

You know what, Frylock? I've found my niche and I've just grooved right into it. (Dummy steals a wing) Hey! Watch the wing sauce on the tux. Jose Feliciano wants us to open for him. That's big!

I wish them dummies was real flesh and blood boys.

Master Shake

No!

Yeah-uh. I do.