Frylock quotes from Aqua Teen Hunger Force

You know what? I want a dog.

Frylock

Well, let's go make one.

Master Shake

Frylock, I want some money.

Frylock

Well, then get a job!

Master Shake

He gets t-(stutters). He gets what he wants. "Just make it for him!"

It ain't workin'.

Frylock

Oh, let's see.

I'm gonna break it.

Frylock

Oh, you're supposed to add DNA.

What's a DNA?

It stands for: Do Not, uh.... enter my pool... Ass man."

Master Shake

See, see what they're doing? I don't know he even knows!

Frylock

Carl, do me a favor and spit in that pool.

Oh, you mean my pool?

Oh, is this your pool?

Yeah, it is.

Can I go swimming?

No, you may not!

Master Shake

How about if I swim in it?

No!

Well, do you mind if we make a dog in it?

Yeah, I do mind. Very much, if that's cool.

Master Shake

Yeah, he does mind!

Frylock

You haven't been using it!

That's not the point.

Master Shake

He's going to very soon!

Just because I haven't been using it doesn't mean like..... here, turn it into a dog laboratory!

I'm sorry Carl, but I think that you need to leave. You upsettin' Hand Banana.

Heh heh, yeah, well, you know, he "upset" me pretty bad too. I don't know if I can sleep anymore. You ever been raped by a dog?

Uh uh.

See, I think that's what Hell is like, you know. Constantly raped by dogs.

Frylock

Carl—

That, you know, I don't know if I believe in God, but.. I think he must hate me.

Frylock

Carl—

Because he allowed you to create a dog that constantly rapes me.

What are you makin'?

Frylock

A time machine.

That's dumb.

Frylock

Really?

Yes.

Frylock

Well, Mr. Smartypants, have you ever gone back in time?

I farted my way out of an elevator.

Frylock

That's not the same thing.

[Jumps out from offside and begins singing 'Party Party Party']

Master Shake

All right!! Andrew W.K, live in our living room!!

Oh God. He looks like he's dead already.

Frylock

[through the door] Thanks, Carl. 'Preciate that.

Master Shake

I think the problem was the song. You got any other, uh, you know, uh, happier...songs about partyin'?

Master Shake

Hey! Let's party! P-p-p-party tonight!

Frylock

Will you all get the funk out of here? [coughs] Look, my doctor says I need to get as much rest as possible so please...

Shake

Yeah! Get the funk outta here! [Frylock looks at shake annoyed.] And I am now leaving as well. [Walks out and closes door.]

What did your doctor say?

Frylock

He says I have cancer.

Well did you... did you tell him that you don't?

Frylock

Meatwad, I'm afraid it doesn't work that way.

Frylock

(Finishing time machine) That's it! Now, who wants to make history and go back in time?

Master Shake

(staring at a scorpion on the floor) Yeah, we're busy

Eat it

Master Shake

YOU eat it

Frylock

You could meet president Lincoln!

Master Shake

Lincoln's dead!

I'll eat it.... if you eat it

Master Shake

All right, deal! Wait a minute... how are you gonna eat it after I eat it?

Look, you eat it, then I go back in time to before the time that you eat it, then I'll eat it

Master Shake

Okay. (Eats scorpion)

I'd get me a physical.

Frylock

Oh, really? And who's your doctor?

Dr. John. Ol-Olivia N-Newton John. [Dancing] I get physical, physical. On ya face, boy, on ya face. [Laughs]

Well, uhh... we got your bloodwork back...

Frylock

And?

No apparent traces of cancer in the lymph nodes

Frylock

Oh, God, thank you! You have no idea how great that is to hear!

But, uhhh... listen..... Aliens

Frylock

What?

Yeah, the aliens are coming. For us, you and I. That's why we must merge as one, together to defeat them, and their lasers.... (aliens fly into the room, shooting lasers, and carry the doctor away)

Hey Fryman. I got this post-it-note that was left on the curb for me. "Thanks for car. M.S."

Frylock

Oh man.

Yeah.

Frylock

Ah I'm sure it'll be back.

Ya think? That'd be so thoughtful.

Frylock

(Yawn) Hello?

Hello.

Frylock

Hello?

Hello.

Frylock

Hello?

... Hello.

Frylock

Hellloo?

Hellloo.

Frylock

I'm here!

Oh, O.K. Ahh, hey man... How's it going?

Frylock

Do you know what time it is?

Do you? Because it's, it's 4.20 somewhere! I know that!... Ain't that the phrase?

Frylock

Are you drunk?

Mmmmhmmmm

Master Shake

Gimmie that phone! Look, before I start speaking don't even think about getting angry, because if you do, I swear, I will hang up on you!

Frylock

Shake what is it? What's wrong?

Master Shake

O.K. Your jumping in already, O.K. We, we got into a little bit of trouble.

Tell him nothing's wrong.

Master Shake

But let me preface by saying, we were framed.

Frylock

What?

Master Shake

We were just the guys that happened to be there!

We were framed!

Master Shake

It was a total set up!

Frylock

Allright, What was a set up?

Master Shake

Wow, now why would I talk to somebody who speaks to me in that tone?

Frylock

Will you just tell me what it is you did wrong?

Master Shake

Oh what? You think do er... everything right?

Frylock

O.K. I see what's happened here. You got another D.U.I didn't you?

Hang up on his ass.

Frylock

I'm gonna have to bus down there! O.K?

Master Shake

I'm gonna have to take the bus from now on permanently, according to what some guy told me. And I ain't riding that cheese box. It's a major deterrent, for the women!

Women will not kiss you on the bus.

Frylock

O.K. Look, it's gonna take me a while.

Hang up on his ass.

Don't worry about this rip. I just uh accidentally ripped it pulling it out of the box.

Frylock

Are the "Gnats" a team?

Nah. "Gnats"? What da freak- it's supposed to be the Giants! I friggin' told them immigrants! No wonder, they cut me a deal. What a deal! They probably don't even have giants in their country; they're so freakin' tiny. Look at this crap. Half of them dissolved in the box.

Frylock

Well, you know what they say "you get what you pay for."

I tell ya what: how 'bout I take 20% off.

Frylock

How 'bout no.

Aw c'mon man, I seen you flyin' around so fast. People won't even notice, right? High-five football fan.

Frylock

I really don't like sports Carl.

… Oh yeah? Well, you're a fag!

Frylock

Hey Carl. What's up?

Oh crap. Hide.

Frylock

Hide? From what?

From uh …

Just play it off as a joke.

...From uh, you know … black people've been runnin' around here.

… That's not really a joke Carl.

Oh c'mon man, I'm tryin'.

Frylock

OK, Carl, I felt really bad about your car, so I brought you some fresh parsley and oregano from my herb garden.

Oh, great. Weeds. This will help me get to the strip club.

Where's my frickin' car?!?

Frylock

Well, it's kinda been impounded.

What?!? [Carl grabs Frylock and starts drowning him in his pool] You tell me right now, Fry Man, where my frickin' car is, or I'm going to rip that paper box head of yours in half!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy Carl. You don't want a penalty for roughing the neighbor. I mean, that's fifteen yards and that hurts the team.

Frylock

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, Carl!

It's okay, I'm not mad. OK? [angrily, but showing restraint] So, uh, where's my f-ing car, please, sir?!

Master Shake

Whoa, what the hell is that?

Frylock

It's a BB. It was lodged in his frontal lobe. But how did he get a BB in his brain?

Milkshake, we're in the goal line offense, baby. You gotta score. You're a champ, buddy. Go all the way.

(screams)

[pause] Shoot I dunno, I need to figure out how to shove a daiquiri up my butt.

Master Shake

Mmm, that a George Foreman grill?

Frylock

Uh, no. George Washington.

Master Shake

Couldn't afford the real one, huh?

Frylock

Oh, and like you can?

Master Shake

Shut—you shut your mouth.